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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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- Стр. 220/452
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Colonel
Cathcart
was
not
superstitious
,
but
he
did
believe
in
omens
,
and
he
sat
right
back
down
behind
his
desk
and
made
a
cryptic
notation
on
his
memorandum
pad
to
look
into
the
whole
suspicious
business
of
the
Yossarians
right
away
.
He
wrote
his
reminder
to
himself
in
a
heavy
and
decisive
hand
,
amplifying
it
sharply
with
a
series
of
coded
punctuation
marks
and
underlining
the
whole
message
twice
,
so
that
it
read
:
Yossarian
!
!
!
(
?
)
!
The
colonel
sat
back
when
he
had
finished
and
was
extremely
pleased
with
himself
for
the
prompt
action
he
had
just
taken
to
meet
this
sinister
crisis
.
Yossarian
—
the
very
sight
of
the
name
made
him
shudder
.
There
were
so
many
esses
in
it
.
It
just
had
to
be
subversive
.
It
was
like
the
word
subversive
itself
.
It
was
like
seditious
and
insidious
too
,
and
like
socialist
,
suspicious
,
fascist
and
Communist
.
It
was
an
odious
,
alien
,
distasteful
name
,
that
just
did
not
inspire
confidence
.
It
was
not
at
all
like
such
clean
,
crisp
,
honest
,
American
names
as
Cathcart
,
Peckem
and
Dreedle
.
Colonel
Cathcart
rose
slowly
and
began
drifting
about
his
office
again
.
Almost
unconsciously
,
he
picked
up
a
plum
tomato
from
the
top
of
one
of
the
bushels
and
took
a
voracious
bite
.
He
made
a
wry
face
at
once
and
threw
the
rest
of
the
plum
tomato
into
his
waste
-
basket
.
The
colonel
did
not
like
plum
tomatoes
,
not
even
when
they
were
his
own
,
and
these
were
not
even
his
own
.
These
had
been
purchased
in
different
market
places
all
over
Pianosa
by
Colonel
Korn
under
various
identities
,
moved
up
to
the
colonel
’
s
farmhouse
in
the
hills
in
the
dead
of
night
,
and
transported
down
to
Group
Headquarters
the
next
morning
for
sale
to
Milo
,
who
paid
Colonel
Cathcart
and
Colonel
Korn
premium
prices
for
them
.
Colonel
Cathcart
often
wondered
if
what
they
were
doing
with
the
plum
tomatoes
was
legal
,
but
Colonel
Korn
said
it
was
,
and
he
tried
not
to
brood
about
it
too
often
.
He
had
no
way
of
knowing
whether
or
not
the
house
in
the
hills
was
legal
,
either
,
since
Colonel
Korn
had
made
all
the
arrangements
.
Colonel
Cathcart
did
not
know
if
he
owned
the
house
or
rented
it
,
from
whom
he
had
acquired
it
or
how
much
,
if
anything
,
it
was
costing
.
Colonel
Korn
was
the
lawyer
,
and
if
Colonel
Korn
assured
him
that
fraud
,
extortion
,
currency
manipulation
,
embezzlement
,
income
tax
evasion
and
black
-
market
speculations
were
legal
,
Colonel
Cathcart
was
in
no
position
to
disagree
with
him
.
All
Colonel
Cathcart
knew
about
his
house
in
the
hills
was
that
he
had
such
a
house
and
hated
it
.
He
was
never
so
bored
as
when
spending
there
the
two
or
three
days
every
other
week
necessary
to
sustain
the
illusion
that
his
damp
and
drafty
stone
farmhouse
in
the
hills
was
a
golden
palace
of
carnal
delights
.
Officers
"
clubs
everywhere
pulsated
with
blurred
but
knowing
accounts
of
lavish
,
hushed
-
up
drinking
and
sex
orgies
there
and
of
secret
,
intimate
nights
of
ecstasy
with
the
most
beautiful
,
the
most
tantalizing
,
the
most
readily
aroused
and
most
easily
satisfied
Italian
courtesans
,
film
actresses
,
models
and
countesses
.
No
such
private
nights
of
ecstasy
or
hushed
-
up
drinking
and
sex
orgies
ever
occurred
.
They
might
have
occurred
if
either
General
Dreedle
or
General
Peckem
had
once
evinced
an
interest
in
taking
part
in
orgies
with
him
,
but
neither
ever
did
,
and
the
colonel
was
certainly
not
going
to
waste
his
time
and
energy
making
love
to
beautiful
women
unless
there
was
something
in
it
for
him
.
The
colonel
dreaded
his
dank
lonely
nights
at
his
farmhouse
and
the
dull
,
uneventful
days
.
He
had
much
more
fun
back
at
Group
,
browbeating
everyone
he
wasn
’
t
afraid
of
.
However
,
as
Colonel
Korn
kept
reminding
him
,
there
was
not
much
glamour
in
having
a
farmhouse
in
the
hills
if
he
never
used
it
.
He
drove
off
to
his
farmhouse
each
time
in
a
mood
of
self
-
pity
.
He
carried
a
shotgun
in
his
jeep
and
spent
the
monotonous
hours
there
shooting
it
at
birds
and
at
the
plum
tomatoes
that
did
grow
there
in
untended
rows
and
were
too
much
trouble
to
harvest
.
Among
those
officers
of
inferior
rank
toward
whom
Colonel
Cathcart
still
deemed
it
prudent
to
show
respect
,
he
included
Major
—
de
Coverley
,
even
though
he
did
not
want
to
and
was
not
sure
he
even
had
to
.
Major
—
de
Coverley
was
as
great
a
mystery
to
him
as
he
was
to
Major
Major
and
to
everyone
else
who
ever
took
notice
of
him
.
Colonel
Cathcart
had
no
idea
whether
to
look
up
or
look
down
in
his
attitude
toward
Major
—
de
Coverley
.
Major
—
de
Coverley
was
only
a
major
,
even
though
he
was
ages
older
than
Colonel
Cathcart
;
at
the
same
time
,
so
many
other
people
treated
Major
—
de
Coverley
with
such
profound
and
fearful
veneration
that
Colonel
Cathcart
had
a
hunch
they
might
know
something
.
Major
–
de
Coverley
was
an
ominous
,
incomprehensible
presence
who
kept
him
constantly
on
edge
and
of
whom
even
Colonel
Korn
tended
to
be
wary
.
Everyone
was
afraid
of
him
,
and
no
one
knew
why
.
No
one
even
knew
Major
—
de
Coverley
’
s
first
name
,
because
no
one
had
ever
had
the
temerity
to
ask
him
.
Colonel
Cathcart
knew
that
Major
—
de
Coverley
was
away
and
he
rejoiced
in
his
absence
until
it
occurred
to
him
that
Major
—
de
Coverley
might
be
away
somewhere
conspiring
against
him
,
and
then
he
wished
that
Major
—
de
Coverley
were
back
in
his
squadron
where
he
belonged
so
that
he
could
be
watched
.
In
a
little
while
Colonel
Cathcart
’
s
arches
began
to
ache
from
pacing
back
and
forth
so
much
.
He
sat
down
behind
his
desk
again
and
resolved
to
embark
upon
a
mature
and
systematic
evaluation
of
the
entire
military
situation
.
With
the
businesslike
air
of
a
man
who
knows
how
to
get
things
done
,
he
found
a
large
white
pad
,
drew
a
straight
line
down
the
middle
and
crossed
it
near
the
top
,
dividing
the
page
into
two
blank
columns
of
equal
width
.
