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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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- Стр. 221/452
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He
rested
a
moment
in
critical
rumination
.
Then
he
huddled
over
his
desk
,
and
at
the
head
of
the
left
column
,
in
a
cramped
and
finicky
hand
,
he
wrote
,
"
Black
Eyes
!
!
!
"
At
the
top
of
the
right
column
he
wrote
,
"
Feathers
in
My
Cap
!
!
!
!
!
"
He
leaned
back
once
more
to
inspect
his
chart
admiringly
from
an
objective
perspective
.
After
a
few
seconds
of
solemn
deliberation
,
he
licked
the
tip
of
his
pencil
carefully
and
wrote
under
"
Black
Eyes
!
!
!
,
"
after
intent
intervals
:
Ferrara
Bologna
(
bomb
line
moved
on
map
during
)
Skeet
range
Naked
man
information
(
after
Avignon
)
Then
he
added
:
Food
poisoning
(
during
Bologna
)
and
Moaning
(
epidemic
of
during
Avignon
briefing
)
Then
he
added
:
Chaplain
(
hanging
around
officers
"
club
every
night
)
He
decided
to
be
charitable
about
the
chaplain
,
even
though
he
did
not
like
him
,
and
under
"
Feathers
in
My
Cap
!
!
!
!
!
"
he
wrote
:
Chaplain
(
hanging
around
officers
"
club
every
night
)
The
two
chaplain
entries
,
therefore
,
neutralized
each
other
.
Alongside
"
Ferrara
"
and
"
Naked
man
in
formation
(
after
Avignon
)
"
he
then
wrote
:
Yossarian
!
Alongside
"
Bologna
(
bomb
line
moved
on
map
during
)
’
,
"
Food
poisoning
(
during
Bologna
)
"
and
"
Moaning
(
epidemic
of
during
Avignon
briefing
)
"
he
wrote
in
a
bold
,
decisive
hand
:
?
Those
entries
labeled
"
?
"
were
the
ones
he
wanted
to
investigate
immediately
to
determine
if
Yossarian
had
played
any
part
in
them
.
Suddenly
his
arm
began
to
shake
,
and
he
was
unable
to
write
any
more
.
He
rose
to
his
feet
in
terror
,
feeling
sticky
and
fat
,
and
rushed
to
the
open
window
to
gulp
in
fresh
air
.
His
gaze
fell
on
the
skeet
-
range
,
and
he
reeled
away
with
a
sharp
cry
of
distress
,
his
wild
and
feverish
eyes
scanning
the
walls
of
his
office
frantically
as
though
they
were
swarming
with
Yossarians
.
Nobody
loved
him
.
General
Dreedle
hated
him
,
although
General
Peckem
liked
him
,
although
he
couldn
’
t
be
sure
,
since
Colonel
Cargill
,
General
Peckem
’
s
aide
,
undoubtedly
had
ambitions
of
his
own
and
was
probably
sabotaging
him
with
General
Peckem
at
every
opportunity
.
The
only
good
colonel
,
he
decided
,
was
a
dead
colonel
,
except
for
himself
.
The
only
colonel
he
trusted
was
Colonel
Moodus
,
and
even
he
had
an
in
with
his
father
-
in
-
law
.
Milo
,
of
course
,
had
been
the
big
feather
in
his
cap
,
although
having
his
group
bombed
by
Milo
’
s
planes
had
probably
been
a
terrible
black
eye
for
him
,
even
though
Milo
had
ultimately
stilled
all
protest
by
disclosing
the
huge
net
profit
the
syndicate
had
realized
on
the
deal
with
the
enemy
and
convincing
everyone
that
bombing
his
own
men
and
planes
had
therefore
really
been
a
commendable
and
very
lucrative
blow
on
the
side
of
private
enterprise
.
The
colonel
was
insecure
about
Milo
because
other
colonels
were
trying
to
lure
him
away
,
and
Colonel
Cathcart
still
had
that
lousy
Big
Chief
White
Halfoat
in
his
group
who
that
lousy
,
lazy
Captain
Black
claimed
was
the
one
really
responsible
for
the
bomb
line
’
s
being
moved
during
the
Big
Siege
of
Bologna
.
Colonel
Cathcart
liked
Big
Chief
White
Halfoat
because
Big
Chief
White
Halfoat
kept
punching
that
lousy
Colonel
Moodus
in
the
nose
every
time
he
got
drunk
and
Colonel
Moodus
was
around
.
He
wished
that
Big
Chief
White
Halfoat
would
begin
punching
Colonel
Korn
in
his
fat
face
,
too
.
Colonel
Korn
was
a
lousy
smart
aleck
.
Someone
at
Twenty
-
seventh
Air
Force
Headquarters
had
it
in
for
him
and
sent
back
every
report
he
wrote
with
a
blistering
rebuke
,
and
Colonel
Korn
had
bribed
a
clever
mail
clerk
there
named
Wintergreen
to
try
to
find
out
who
it
was
.
Losing
the
plane
over
Ferrara
the
second
time
around
had
not
done
him
any
good
,
he
had
to
admit
,
and
neither
had
having
that
other
plane
disappear
inside
that
cloud
—
that
was
one
he
hadn
’
t
even
written
down
!
He
tried
to
recall
,
longingly
,
if
Yossarian
had
been
lost
in
that
plane
in
the
cloud
and
realized
that
Yossarian
could
not
possibly
have
been
lost
in
that
plane
in
the
cloud
if
he
was
still
around
now
raising
such
a
big
stink
about
having
to
fly
a
lousy
five
missions
more
.
Maybe
sixty
missions
were
too
many
for
the
men
to
fly
,
Colonel
Cathcart
reasoned
,
if
Yossarian
objected
to
flying
them
,
but
he
then
remembered
that
forcing
his
men
to
fly
more
missions
than
everyone
else
was
the
most
tangible
achievement
he
had
going
for
him
.
As
Colonel
Korn
often
remarked
,
the
war
was
crawling
with
group
commanders
who
were
merely
doing
their
duty
,
and
it
required
just
some
sort
of
dramatic
gesture
like
making
his
group
fly
more
combat
missions
than
any
other
bomber
group
to
spotlight
his
unique
qualities
of
leadership
.
Certainly
none
of
the
generals
seemed
to
object
to
what
he
was
doing
,
although
as
far
as
he
could
detect
they
weren
’
t
particularly
impressed
either
,
which
made
him
suspect
that
perhaps
sixty
combat
missions
were
not
nearly
enough
and
that
he
ought
to
increase
the
number
at
once
to
seventy
,
eighty
,
a
hundred
,
or
even
two
hundred
,
three
hundred
,
or
six
thousand
!
Certainly
he
would
be
much
better
off
under
somebody
suave
like
General
Peckem
than
he
was
under
somebody
boorish
and
insensitive
like
General
Dreedle
,
because
General
Peckem
had
the
discernment
,
the
intelligence
and
the
Ivy
League
background
to
appreciate
and
enjoy
him
at
his
full
value
,
although
General
Peckem
had
never
given
the
slightest
indication
that
he
appreciated
or
enjoyed
him
at
all
.
Colonel
Cathcart
felt
perceptive
enough
to
realize
that
visible
signals
of
recognition
were
never
necessary
between
sophisticated
,
self
-
assured
people
like
himself
and
General
Peckem
who
could
warm
to
each
other
from
a
distance
with
innate
mutual
understanding
.
It
was
enough
that
they
were
of
like
kind
,
and
he
knew
it
was
only
a
matter
of
waiting
discreetly
for
preferment
until
the
right
time
,
although
it
rotted
Colonel
Cathcart
’
s
self
-
esteem
to
observe
that
General
Peckem
never
deliberately
sought
him
out
and
that
he
labored
no
harder
to
impress
Colonel
Cathcart
with
his
epigrams
and
erudition
than
he
did
to
impress
anyone
else
in
earshot
,
even
enlisted
men
.
Either
Colonel
Cathcart
wasn
’
t
getting
through
to
General
Peckem
or
General
Peckem
was
not
the
scintillating
,
discriminating
,
intellectual
,
forward
-
looking
personality
he
pretended
to
be
and
it
was
really
General
Dreedle
who
was
sensitive
,
charming
,
brilliant
and
sophisticated
and
under
whom
he
would
certainly
be
much
better
off
,
and
suddenly
Colonel
Cathcart
had
absolutely
no
conception
of
how
strongly
he
stood
with
anyone
and
began
banging
on
his
buzzer
with
his
fist
for
Colonel
Korn
to
come
running
into
his
office
and
assure
him
that
everybody
loved
him
,
that
Yossarian
was
a
figment
of
his
imagination
,
and
that
he
was
making
wonderful
progress
in
the
splendid
and
valiant
campaign
he
was
waging
to
become
a
general
.
Actually
,
Colonel
Cathcart
did
not
have
a
chance
in
hell
of
becoming
a
general
.
For
one
thing
,
there
was
ex
-
P
.
F
.
C
.
Wintergreen
,
who
also
wanted
to
be
a
general
and
who
always
distorted
,
destroyed
,
rejected
or
misdirected
any
correspondence
by
,
for
or
about
Colonel
Cathcart
that
might
do
him
credit
.
For
another
,
there
already
was
a
general
,
General
Dreedle
who
knew
that
General
Peckem
was
after
his
job
but
did
not
know
how
to
stop
him
.
