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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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- Стр. 219/452
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"
That
’
s
exactly
what
had
us
both
stumped
,
"
said
Corporal
Whitcomb
.
"
And
then
the
C
.
I
.
D
.
man
figured
out
you
might
have
some
important
secret
papers
hidden
away
inside
it
.
"
The
chaplain
sagged
limply
beneath
the
mountainous
weight
of
his
despair
.
"
I
don
’
t
have
any
important
secret
papers
hidden
away
inside
it
,
"
he
stated
simply
.
"
I
didn
’
t
even
want
it
to
begin
with
Here
,
you
can
have
it
and
see
for
yourself
.
"
"
I
don
’
t
want
it
.
"
"
Please
take
it
away
,
"
the
chaplain
pleaded
in
a
voice
that
was
barely
audible
.
"
I
want
to
be
rid
of
it
.
"
"
I
don
’
t
want
it
,
"
Corporal
Whitcomb
snapped
again
,
and
stalked
out
with
an
angry
face
,
suppressing
a
smile
of
great
jubilation
at
having
forged
a
powerful
new
alliance
with
the
C
.
I
.
D
.
man
and
at
having
succeeded
again
in
convincing
the
chaplain
that
he
was
really
displeased
.
Poor
Whitcomb
,
sighed
the
chaplain
,
and
blamed
himself
for
his
assistant
’
s
malaise
.
He
sat
mutely
in
a
ponderous
,
stultifying
melancholy
,
waiting
expectantly
for
Corporal
Whitcomb
to
walk
back
in
.
He
was
disappointed
as
he
heard
the
peremptory
crunch
of
Corporal
Whitcomb
’
s
footsteps
recede
into
silence
.
There
was
nothing
he
wanted
to
do
next
.
He
decided
to
pass
up
lunch
for
a
Milky
Way
and
a
Baby
Ruth
from
his
foot
locker
and
a
few
swallows
of
luke
-
warm
water
from
his
canteen
.
He
felt
himself
surrounded
by
dense
,
overwhelming
fogs
of
possibilities
in
which
he
could
perceive
no
glimmer
of
light
.
He
dreaded
what
Colonel
Cathcart
would
think
when
the
news
that
he
was
suspected
of
being
Washington
Irving
was
brought
to
him
,
then
fell
to
fretting
over
what
Colonel
Cathcart
was
already
thinking
about
him
for
even
having
broached
the
subject
of
sixty
missions
.
There
was
so
much
unhappiness
in
the
world
,
he
reflected
,
bowing
his
head
dismally
beneath
the
tragic
thought
,
and
there
was
nothing
he
could
do
about
anybody
’
s
,
least
of
all
his
own
.
Colonel
Cathcart
was
not
thinking
anything
at
all
about
the
chaplain
,
but
was
tangled
up
in
a
brand
-
new
,
menacing
problem
of
his
own
:
Yossarian
!
Yossarian
!
The
mere
sound
of
that
execrable
,
ugly
name
made
his
blood
run
cold
and
his
breath
come
in
labored
gasps
.
The
chaplain
’
s
first
mention
of
the
name
Yossarian
!
had
tolled
deep
in
his
memory
like
a
portentous
gong
.
As
soon
as
the
latch
of
the
door
had
clicked
shut
,
the
whole
humiliating
recollection
of
the
naked
man
in
formation
came
cascading
down
upon
him
in
a
mortifying
,
choking
flood
of
stinging
details
.
He
began
to
perspire
and
tremble
.
There
was
a
sinister
and
unlikely
coincidence
exposed
that
was
too
diabolical
in
implication
to
be
anything
less
than
the
most
hideous
of
omens
.
The
name
of
the
man
who
had
stood
naked
in
ranks
that
day
to
receive
his
Distinguished
Flying
Cross
from
General
Dreedle
had
also
been
—
Yossarian
!
And
now
it
was
a
man
named
Yossarian
who
was
threatening
to
make
trouble
over
the
sixty
missions
he
had
just
ordered
the
men
in
his
group
to
fly
.
Colonel
Cathcart
wondered
gloomily
if
it
was
the
same
Yossarian
.
He
climbed
to
his
feet
with
an
air
of
intolerable
woe
and
began
moving
about
his
office
.
He
felt
himself
in
the
presence
of
the
mysterious
.
The
naked
man
in
formation
,
he
conceded
cheerlessly
,
had
been
a
real
black
eye
for
him
.
So
had
the
tampering
with
the
bomb
line
before
the
mission
to
Bologna
and
the
seven
-
day
delay
in
destroying
the
bridge
at
Ferrara
,
even
though
destroying
the
bridge
at
Ferrara
finally
,
he
remembered
with
glee
,
had
been
a
real
feather
in
his
cap
,
although
losing
a
plane
there
the
second
time
around
,
he
recalled
in
dejection
,
had
been
another
black
eye
,
even
though
he
had
won
another
real
feather
in
his
cap
by
getting
a
medal
approved
for
the
bombardier
who
had
gotten
him
the
real
black
eye
in
the
first
place
by
going
around
over
the
target
twice
.
That
bombardier
’
s
name
,
he
remembered
suddenly
with
another
stupefying
shock
,
had
also
been
Yossarian
!
Now
there
were
three
!
His
viscous
eyes
bulged
with
astonishment
and
he
whipped
himself
around
in
alarm
to
see
what
was
taking
place
behind
him
.
A
moment
ago
there
had
been
no
Yossarians
in
his
life
;
now
they
were
multiplying
like
hobgoblins
.
He
tried
to
make
himself
grow
calm
.
Yossarian
was
not
a
common
name
;
perhaps
there
were
not
really
three
Yossarians
but
only
two
Yossarians
,
or
maybe
even
only
one
Yossarian
—
but
that
really
made
no
difference
!
The
colonel
was
still
in
grave
peril
.
Intuition
warned
him
that
he
was
drawing
close
to
some
immense
and
inscrutable
cosmic
climax
,
and
his
broad
,
meaty
,
towering
frame
tingled
from
head
to
toe
at
the
thought
that
Yossarian
,
whoever
he
would
eventually
turn
out
to
be
,
was
destined
to
serve
as
his
nemesis
.
