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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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- Стр. 218/452
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"
Because
they
’
re
convinced
that
you
are
Washington
Irving
.
Don
’
t
you
see
?
They
’
ll
know
it
was
you
.
"
"
But
isn
’
t
that
the
very
belief
we
want
to
dispel
?
Won
’
t
this
help
them
prove
it
?
"
"
If
I
thought
you
were
going
to
be
so
stuffy
about
it
,
I
wouldn
’
t
even
have
tried
to
help
,
"
Corporal
Whitcomb
declared
indignantly
,
and
walked
out
.
A
second
later
he
walked
back
in
.
"
I
just
did
you
the
biggest
favor
anybody
ever
did
you
in
your
whole
life
and
you
don
’
t
even
know
it
.
You
don
’
t
know
how
to
show
your
appreciation
.
That
’
s
another
one
of
the
things
that
’
s
wrong
with
you
.
"
"
I
’
m
sorry
,
"
the
chaplain
apologized
contritely
.
"
I
really
am
sorry
.
It
’
s
just
that
I
’
m
so
completely
stunned
by
all
you
’
re
telling
me
that
I
don
’
t
even
realize
what
I
’
m
saying
.
I
’
m
really
very
grateful
to
you
.
"
"
Then
how
about
letting
me
send
out
those
form
letters
?
"
Corporal
Whitcomb
demanded
immediately
.
"
Can
I
begin
working
on
the
first
drafts
?
"
The
chaplain
’
s
jaw
dropped
in
astonishment
.
"
No
,
no
,
"
he
groaned
.
"
Not
now
.
"
Corporal
Whitcomb
was
incensed
.
"
I
’
m
the
best
friend
you
’
ve
got
and
you
don
’
t
even
know
it
,
"
he
asserted
belligerently
,
and
walked
out
of
the
chaplain
’
s
tent
.
He
walked
back
in
.
"
I
’
m
on
your
side
and
you
don
’
t
even
realize
it
.
Don
’
t
you
know
what
serious
trouble
you
’
re
in
?
That
C
.
I
.
D
.
man
has
gone
rushing
back
to
the
hospital
to
write
a
brand
-
new
report
on
you
about
that
tomato
.
"
"
What
tomato
?
"
the
chaplain
asked
,
blinking
.
"
The
plum
tomato
you
were
hiding
in
your
hand
when
you
first
showed
up
here
.
There
it
is
.
The
tomato
you
’
re
still
holding
in
your
hand
right
this
very
minute
!
"
The
captain
unclenched
his
fingers
with
surprise
and
saw
that
he
was
still
holding
the
plum
tomato
he
had
obtained
in
Colonel
Cathcart
’
s
office
.
He
set
it
down
quickly
on
the
bridge
table
.
"
I
got
this
tomato
from
Colonel
Cathcart
,
"
he
said
,
and
was
struck
by
how
ludicrous
his
explanation
sounded
.
"
He
insisted
I
take
it
.
"
"
You
don
’
t
have
to
lie
to
me
,
"
Corporal
Whitcomb
answered
.
"
I
don
’
t
care
whether
you
stole
it
from
him
or
not
.
"
"
Stole
it
?
"
the
chaplain
exclaimed
with
amazement
.
"
Why
should
I
want
to
steal
a
plum
tomato
?
"
