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She
never
said
another
word
to
be
understood
,
she
lingered
on
all
the
morning
and
afternoon
and
went
with
the
sun
.
Her
breathing
had
got
very
faint
and
(
just
to
show
what
I
was
like
)
I
even
thought
she
had
gone
into
a
sleep
at
last
.
I
don
t
know
exactly
when
she
died
,
I
know
she
was
breathing
about
half
past
three
when
I
went
downstairs
to
do
a
bit
of
dusting
and
so
on
to
take
my
mind
off
things
,
and
when
I
came
back
about
four
,
she
was
gone
.
She
was
lying
with
her
head
to
one
side
and
it
looked
awful
,
her
mouth
was
open
and
her
eyes
were
staring
white
like
she
d
tried
to
see
out
of
the
window
one
last
time
.
I
felt
her
and
she
was
cold
,
though
her
body
was
still
warm
.
I
ran
and
got
a
mirror
.
I
knew
that
was
the
way
and
held
it
over
her
mouth
but
there
was
no
mist
.
She
was
dead
.
Well
,
I
shut
her
mouth
up
and
got
the
eyelids
down
.
I
didn
t
know
what
to
do
then
,
I
went
and
made
myself
a
cup
of
tea
.
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When
it
was
dark
I
got
her
dead
body
and
carried
it
down
to
the
cellar
.
I
know
you
re
meant
to
wash
dead
bodies
,
but
I
didn
t
like
to
,
it
didn
t
seem
right
,
so
I
put
her
on
the
bed
and
combed
out
her
hair
and
cut
a
lock
.
I
tried
to
arrange
her
face
so
it
had
a
smile
but
I
couldn
t
.
Anyway
she
looked
very
peaceful
.
Then
I
knelt
and
said
a
prayer
,
the
only
one
I
knew
was
Our
Father
,
so
I
said
some
of
that
and
God
rest
her
soul
,
not
that
I
believe
in
religion
,
but
it
seemed
right
.
Then
I
went
upstairs
.
I
don
t
know
why
it
was
one
little
thing
that
did
it
;
you
d
think
it
would
be
seeing
her
dead
or
carrying
her
down
the
last
time
,
but
it
wasn
t
;
it
was
when
I
saw
her
slippers
in
the
room
where
she
was
upstairs
.
I
picked
them
up
and
suddenly
I
knew
she
wouldn
t
ever
wear
them
again
.
I
wouldn
t
ever
go
down
and
draw
the
bolts
again
(
funny
,
I
had
still
bolted
her
in
,
though
)
,
and
none
of
it
would
ever
happen
again
,
the
good
or
the
bad
.
I
suddenly
knew
she
was
dead
and
dead
means
gone
for
ever
,
for
ever
and
ever
.
Those
last
days
I
had
to
be
sorry
for
her
(
as
soon
as
I
knew
it
wasn
t
acting
)
,
and
I
forgave
her
all
the
other
business
.
Not
while
she
was
living
,
but
when
I
knew
she
was
dead
,
that
was
when
I
finally
forgave
her
.
All
sorts
of
nice
things
came
back
.
I
remembered
the
beginning
,
the
days
in
the
Annexe
just
seeing
her
come
out
of
the
front
door
,
or
passing
her
the
other
side
of
the
street
,
and
I
couldn
t
understand
how
it
all
happened
so
that
she
was
there
below
,
dead
.
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It
was
like
a
joke
mousetrap
I
once
saw
,
the
mouse
just
went
on
and
things
moved
,
it
couldn
t
ever
turn
back
,
but
just
on
and
on
into
cleverer
and
cleverer
traps
until
the
end
.
I
thought
how
happy
I
was
,
feelings
I
had
those
weeks
I
never
had
before
and
I
wouldn
t
ever
have
again
.
The
more
I
thought
about
it
,
the
worse
it
seemed
.