Коллекционер/The collector (Джон Фоулз). Страница 299 из 299

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Well

,

I

came

back

with

the

stuff

and

went

down

to

see

Miranda

,

to

arrange

the

flowers

really

;

I

could

see

I

wasn

’

t

in

the

mood

for

the

other

thing

and

I

thought

I

had

better

think

it

over

first

and

then

in

any

case

I

found

the

diary

.

The

days

passed

,

it

is

now

three

weeks

since

all

that

.

Of

course

I

shall

never

have

a

guest

again

,

although

now

Aunt

Annie

and

Mabel

have

decided

to

stay

Down

Under

,

it

would

not

be

difficult

.

Отключить рекламу

Still

as

a

matter

of

interest

I

have

since

been

looking

into

the

problems

there

would

be

with

the

girl

in

Woolworth

’

s

.

She

lives

in

a

village

the

other

side

of

Lewes

from

here

,

in

a

house

a

quarter

mile

or

so

from

the

bus

-

stop

.

You

have

to

go

along

a

country

lane

to

get

to

it

.

As

I

say

,

it

would

be

possible

(

if

I

hadn

’

t

learnt

my

lesson

)

.

She

isn

’

t

as

pretty

as

Miranda

,

of

course

,

in

fact

she

’

s

only

an

ordinary

common

shop

-

girl

,

but

that

was

my

mistake

before

,

aiming

too

high

,

I

ought

to

have

seen

that

I

could

never

get

what

I

wanted

from

someone

like

Miranda

,

with

all

her

la

-

di

-

da

ideas

and

clever

tricks

.

I

ought

to

have

got

someone

who

would

respect

me

more

.

Someone

ordinary

I

could

teach

.

She

is

in

the

box

I

made

,

under

the

appletrees

.

It

took

me

three

days

to

dig

the

hole

.

I

thought

I

would

go

mad

the

night

I

did

it

(

went

down

and

got

her

in

the

box

I

made

and

outside

)

I

don

’

t

think

many

could

have

done

it

.

I

did

it

scientific

.

I

planned

what

had

to

be

done

and

ignored

my

natural

feelings

.

I

couldn

’

t

stand

the

idea

of

having

to

look

at

her

again

,

I

once

heard

they

go

green

and

purple

in

patches

,

so

I

went

in

with

a

cheap

blanket

I

bought

in

front

of

me

and

held

it

out

till

I

was

by

the

bed

and

then

threw

it

over

the

deceased

.

I

rolled

it

up

and

all

the

bedclothes

into

the

box

and

soon

had

the

lid

screwed

on

.

I

got

round

the

smell

with

fumigator

and

the

fan

.

The

room

’

s

cleaned

out

now

and

good

as

new

.

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I

shall

put

what

she

wrote

and

her

hair

up

in

the

loft

in

the

deed

-

box

which

will

not

be

opened

till

my

death

,

so

I

don

’

t

expect

for

forty

or

fifty

years

.

I

have

not

made

up

my

mind

about

Marian

(

another

M

!

I

heard

the

supervisor

call

her

name

)

,

this

time

it

won

’

t

be

love

,

it

would

just

be

for

the

interest

of

the

thing

and

to

compare

them

and

also

the

other

thing

,

which

as

I

say

I

would

like

to

go

into

in

more

detail

and

I

could

teach

her

how

.

And

the

clothes

would

fit

.

Of

course

I

would

make

it

clear

from

the

start

who

’

s

boss

and

what

I

expect

.

But

it

is

still

just

an

idea

.

I

only

put

the

stove

down

there

today

because

the

room

needs

drying

out

anyway

.

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