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Of
course
I
went
down
as
soon
as
I
got
back
,
and
she
was
lying
there
breathing
away
.
As
soon
as
she
saw
me
she
began
talking
,
she
seemed
to
think
I
was
someone
else
because
she
asked
me
if
I
d
seen
Louise
(
I
never
heard
her
talk
of
her
before
)
luckily
she
didn
t
wait
for
an
answer
,
she
started
talking
about
some
modern
painter
,
then
she
said
she
was
thirsty
.
It
wasn
t
sense
,
things
seemed
to
come
in
her
head
and
go
.
Well
,
I
gave
her
a
drink
and
she
lay
still
a
while
and
she
suddenly
seemed
to
get
half
back
to
normal
(
in
mind
,
that
is
)
because
she
said
,
when
will
Daddy
come
,
you
have
been
?
I
lied
,
it
was
a
white
lie
,
I
said
he
d
be
here
soon
.
She
said
,
wash
my
face
,
and
when
I
did
,
she
said
he
must
see
some
of
.
that
stuff
I
ve
brought
up
.
I
say
she
said
,
but
it
was
all
in
a
whisper
.
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She
said
she
wished
she
could
sleep
.
It
s
the
fever
,
I
said
,
and
she
nodded
,
for
a
bit
she
quite
understood
all
I
was
saying
,
and
no
one
could
believe
it
but
I
decided
to
go
back
to
Lewes
to
get
a
doctor
.
I
helped
her
behind
the
screen
,
she
was
so
weak
I
knew
she
couldn
t
run
away
,
so
what
I
decided
was
I
would
go
up
and
try
and
get
two
hours
sleep
and
then
I
d
carry
her
upstairs
and
I
d
go
down
to
Lewes
and
get
another
doctor
out
.
I
don
t
know
how
it
happened
,
I
always
get
up
as
soon
as
the
alarm
sounds
;
I
think
I
must
have
reached
out
and
turned
it
off
in
my
sleep
,
I
don
t
remember
waking
up
,
once
.
Anyway
it
was
four
,
not
half
past
twelve
when
I
woke
up
.
Of
course
,
I
rushed
down
to
see
what
had
happened
.
She
had
pulled
all
the
top
clothes
off
her
chest
,
but
luckily
it
was
warm
enough
.
I
don
t
think
it
mattered
then
anyway
,
she
was
in
a
terrible
fever
and
she
didn
t
know
me
,
and
when
I
lifted
to
take
her
upstairs
she
tried
to
struggle
and
scream
,
but
she
was
so
weak
she
couldn
t
.
What
s
more
her
coughing
stopped
her
screaming
and
seemed
to
make
her
realize
where
we
were
.
I
had
a
proper
job
getting
her
upstairs
,
but
I
managed
it
and
put
her
in
the
bed
in
the
spare
room
(
I
had
got
it
all
warmed
)
,
where
she
seemed
happier
.
She
didn
t
say
anything
,
the
cold
air
had
made
her
cough
and
bring
up
,
her
face
was
the
funny
purplish
colour
,
too
.
I
said
,
the
doctor
s
coming
,
which
she
seemed
to
understand
.
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I
stayed
a
bit
to
see
if
she
would
be
all
right
,
I
was
afraid
she
might
have
just
the
strength
to
go
to
the
window
and
attract
the
attention
of
anyone
passing
.
I
knew
she
couldn
t
really
,
but
I
seemed
to
find
reasons
not
to
go
.
I
went
several
times
to
her
open
door
,
she
was
lying
there
in
the
darkness
,
I
could
hear
her
breathing
,
sometimes
she
was
muttering
,
once
she
called
for
me
and
I
went
and
stood
beside
her
and
all
she
could
say
was
doctor
,
doctor
,
and
I
said
he
s
coming
,
don
t
worry
and
I
wiped
her
face
,
she
couldn
t
stop
sweating
.
I
don
t
know
why
I
didn
t
go
then
,
I
tried
,
but
I
couldn
t
,
I
couldn
t
face
the
idea
of
not
knowing
how
she
was
,
of
not
being
able
to
see
her
whenever
I
wanted
.
I
was
just
like
in
love
with
her
all
over
again
.
And
another
thing
,
all
those
days
I
used
to
think
,
well
,
she
ll
be
getting
over
it
a
long
time
,
she
ll
need
me
,
it
will
be
very
nice
when
she
has
turned
the
corner
.
I
don
t
know
why
,
I
also
thought
the
new
room
might
help
.
It
would
make
a
change
.