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Then
she
said
,
"
Promises
.
"
Then
some
time
after
,
"
They
eat
earth
.
"
And
she
said
that
two
or
three
times
while
I
tried
to
pat
her
calm
,
it
seemed
it
really
distressed
her
.
The
last
thing
she
said
was
,
"
I
forgive
you
.
"
She
was
delirious
of
course
,
but
I
said
I
was
sorry
again
.
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You
might
say
things
were
different
from
this
time
.
I
forgot
all
she
did
in
the
past
and
I
was
sorry
for
her
,
I
was
truly
sorry
for
what
I
did
that
other
evening
,
but
I
wasn
t
to
know
she
was
really
ill
.
It
was
spilt
milk
;
it
was
done
and
there
was
an
end
to
it
.
It
was
really
funny
,
though
,
how
just
when
I
thought
I
was
really
fed
up
with
her
all
the
old
feelings
came
back
.
I
kept
on
thinking
of
nice
things
,
how
sometimes
we
got
on
well
and
all
the
things
she
meant
to
me
back
home
when
I
had
nothing
else
.
All
the
part
from
when
she
took
off
her
clothes
and
I
no
longer
respected
her
,
that
seemed
to
be
unreal
,
like
we
both
lost
our
minds
.
I
mean
,
her
being
ill
and
me
nursing
seemed
more
real
.
I
stayed
in
the
outer
room
like
the
night
before
.
She
was
quiet
half
an
hour
or
so
,
but
then
she
began
talking
to
herself
,
I
said
are
you
all
right
,
and
she
stopped
,
but
then
later
on
she
began
talking
again
,
or
rather
muttering
and
then
she
called
my
name
out
really
loud
,
she
said
she
couldn
t
breathe
,
and
then
she
brought
up
a
mass
of
phlegm
.
It
was
a
funny
dark
brown
,
I
didn
t
like
the
look
of
it
at
all
,
but
I
thought
the
pills
might
have
coloured
it
.
After
that
she
must
have
dozed
off
for
an
hour
or
so
,
but
suddenly
she
began
to
scream
,
she
couldn
t
,
but
she
was
trying
and
when
I
rushed
in
she
was
half
out
of
bed
.
I
don
t
know
what
she
was
trying
to
do
,
but
she
didn
t
seem
to
know
me
and
she
fought
like
a
tiger
,
in
spite
of
being
so
weak
.
I
really
had
to
fight
to
lie
her
down
again
.
Then
she
was
in
a
horrible
sweat
,
her
pyjamas
were
soaked
,
and
when
I
tried
to
get
the
top
off
to
put
on
new
ones
she
started
fighting
,
rolling
about
as
if
she
was
mad
,
and
getting
in
a
worse
sweat
.
I
never
had
a
worse
night
,
it
was
so
terrible
I
can
t
describe
it
.
She
couldn
t
sleep
,
I
gave
her
as
many
sleeping
tablets
as
I
dared
but
they
seemed
to
have
no
effect
,
she
would
doze
off
a
little
while
and
then
she
would
be
in
a
state
again
,
trying
to
get
out
of
bed
(
once
she
did
before
I
could
get
to
her
and
fell
to
the
floor
)
.
Sometimes
she
was
in
delirium
,
calling
for
a
G
.
P
.
and
talking
to
people
who
she
d
known
,
I
suppose
.
I
didn
t
mind
that
so
much
,
as
long
as
she
lay
quiet
.
I
took
her
temper
-
ature
,
it
was
over
104
degrees
,
and
I
knew
she
was
ill
,
really
ill
.
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Well
,
just
about
five
the
next
morning
I
went
up
to
have
a
breath
of
fresh
air
,
it
seemed
another
world
out
there
,
and
I
made
up
my
mind
that
I
would
have
to
get
her
upstairs
and
ask
a
doctor
in
,
I
couldn
t
put
it
off
any
longer
.
I
was
there
about
ten
minutes
standing
in
the
open
door
but
then
I
heard
her
calling
again
,
she
brought
up
a
bit
more
of
the
red
-
brown
phlegm
and
then
she
was
sick
,
so
I
had
to
get
her
out
of
bed
and
make
it
up
again
while
she
lay
slopped
in
the
chair
.
It
was
the
way
she
breathed
that
was
worst
,
it
was
so
quick
and
gasping
,
as
if
she
was
panting
all
the
time
.
That
morning
(
she
seemed
quieter
)
she
was
able
to
take
in
what
I
said
,
so
I
told
her
I
was
going
for
the
doctor
and
she
nodded
,
I
consider
she
understood
,
though
she
didn
t
speak
.
That
night
seemed
to
take
all
her
strength
away
,
she
just
lay
there
still
.
I
know
I
could
have
gone
to
the
village
and
phoned
or
got
a
doctor
but
for
obvious
reasons
I
never
had
dealings
there
,
village
gossip
being
what
it
is
.