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No
soul
that
lived
,
loved
,
wrought
,
and
died
Is
this
,
their
Carrion
Crucified
!
Nay
,
if
their
God
and
thou
be
one
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If
thou
and
this
thing
be
the
same
,
Thou
should
's
t
not
look
upon
the
sun
,
The
sun
grows
haggard
at
thy
name
!
Come
down
,
be
done
with
,
cease
,
give
o'er
,
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Hide
thyself
,
strive
not
,
be
no
more
!
"
From
the
time
of
reading
this
,
I
used
to
think
of
Christ
as
'
carrion
crucified
'
;
--
if
I
ever
thought
at
all
.
I
found
out
that
no
one
had
ever
reproached
Swinburne
for
this
term
--
that
it
did
not
interfere
with
his
chances
for
the
Laureateship
--
and
that
not
even
a
priest
of
the
church
had
been
bold-spoken
or
zealous
enough
in
his
Master
's
cause
to
publicly
resent
the
shameless
outrage
.
So
I
concluded
that
Swinburne
must
,
after
all
,
be
right
in
his
opinions
,
and
I
followed
the
lazy
and
unthinking
course
of
social
movement
,
spending
my
days
with
such
literature
as
stored
my
brain
with
a
complete
knowledge
of
things
evil
and
pernicious
.
Whatever
soul
I
had
in
me
was
killed
;
the
freshness
of
my
mind
was
gone
--
Swinburne
,
among
others
,
had
helped
me
to
live
mentally
,
if
not
physically
,
through
such
a
phase
of
vice
as
had
poisoned
my
thoughts
for
ever
.
I
understand
there
is
some
vague
law
in
existence
about
placing
an
interdiction
on
certain
books
considered
injurious
to
public
morals
--
if
there
is
such
a
rule
,
it
has
been
curiously
lax
concerning
the
author
of
'
Anactoria
'
--
who
,
by
virtue
of
being
a
poet
,
passes
unquestioned
into
many
a
home
,
carrying
impure
suggestion
into
minds
that
were
once
cleanly
and
simple
.
As
for
me
,
after
I
had
studied
his
verse
to
my
heart
's
content
,
nothing
remained
sacred
--
I
judged
men
as
beasts
and
women
as
little
better
--
I
had
no
belief
in
honour
,
virtue
or
truth
--
and
I
was
absolutely
indifferent
to
all
things
save
one
,
and
that
was
my
resolve
to
have
my
own
way
as
far
as
love
was
concerned
.
I
might
be
forced
to
marry
without
love
for
purely
money-considerations
--
but
all
the
same
,
love
I
would
have
,
or
what
I
called
love
;
--
not
an
'
ideal
'
passion
by
any
means
,
but
precisely
what
Mr
Swinburne
and
a
few
of
the
most-praised
novelists
of
the
day
had
taught
me
to
consider
as
love
.
I
began
to
wonder
when
and
how
I
should
meet
my
lover
--
such
thoughts
as
I
had
at
this
time
indeed
would
have
made
moralists
stare
and
uplift
their
hands
in
horror
--
but
to
the
exterior
world
I
was
the
very
pink
and
pattern
of
maidenly
decorum
,
reserve
and
pride
.
Men
desired
,
but
feared
me
;
for
I
never
gave
them
any
encouragement
,
seeing
as
yet
none
among
them
whom
I
deemed
worthy
of
such
love
as
I
could
give
.