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- Мари Корелли
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- Стр. 246/279
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Let
me
go
back
to
the
time
when
love
came
to
me
--
love
,
ardent
,
passionate
,
and
eternal
!
Ah
,
what
wild
joy
thrilled
through
me
!
what
mad
ecstasy
fired
my
blood
!
--
what
delirious
dreams
possessed
my
brain
!
--
I
saw
Lucio
--
and
it
seemed
as
if
the
splendid
eyes
of
some
great
angel
had
flashed
a
glory
in
my
soul
!
With
him
came
his
friend
,
the
foil
to
his
beauty
--
the
arrogant
,
self-satisfied
fool
of
a
millionaire
,
Geoffrey
Tempest
--
he
who
bought
me
,
and
who
by
virtue
of
his
purchase
,
is
entitled
by
law
to
call
himself
my
husband
...
"
Here
I
paused
in
my
reading
and
looked
up
.
The
dead
woman
's
eyes
appeared
now
to
regard
me
as
steadily
as
herself
in
the
opposite
mirror
--
the
head
was
a
little
more
dropped
forward
on
the
breast
,
and
the
whole
face
very
nearly
resembled
that
of
the
late
Countess
of
Elton
when
the
last
shock
of
paralysis
had
rendered
her
hideous
disfigurement
complete
"
To
think
I
loved
that
!
"
I
said
aloud
,
pointing
at
the
corpse
's
ghastly
reflection
--
"
Fool
that
I
was
indeed
!
--
as
great
a
fool
as
all
men
are
who
barter
their
lives
for
the
possession
of
a
woman
's
mere
body
!
Why
if
there
were
any
life
after
death
--
if
such
a
creature
had
a
soul
that
at
all
resembled
this
poisoned
clay
,
the
very
devils
might
turn
away
aghast
from
such
a
loathly
comrade
!
"
The
candles
flickered
and
the
dead
face
seemed
to
smile
--
a
clock
chimed
in
the
adjoining
room
,
but
I
did
not
count
the
hour
--
I
merely
arranged
the
manuscript
pages
I
held
more
methodically
,
and
read
on
with
renewed
attention
.
"
From
the
moment
I
saw
Lucio
Rimânez
"
--
went
on
Sibyl
's
'
dying
speech
'
--
"
I
abandoned
myself
to
love
and
the
desire
of
love
.
I
had
heard
of
him
before
from
my
father
who
had
(
as
I
learned
to
my
shame
)
been
indebted
to
him
for
monetary
assistance
.
On
the
very
night
we
met
,
my
father
told
me
quite
plainly
that
now
was
my
chance
to
get
'
settled
'
in
life
.
'
Marry
Rimânez
or
Tempest
,
whichever
you
can
most
easily
catch
,
'
he
said
--
'
The
prince
is
fabulously
wealthy
--
but
he
keeps
up
a
mystery
about
himself
and
no
one
knows
where
he
actually
comes
from
--
besides
which
he
dislikes
women
;
--
now
Tempest
has
five
millions
and
seems
an
easy-going
fool
--
I
should
say
you
had
better
go
for
Tempest
.
'
I
made
no
answer
and
gave
no
promise
either
way
.
I
soon
found
out
however
that
Lucio
did
not
intend
to
marry
--
and
I
concluded
that
he
preferred
to
be
the
lover
of
many
women
,
instead
of
the
husband
of
one
.
I
did
not
love
him
any
the
less
for
this
--
I
only
resolved
that
I
would
at
least
be
one
of
those
who
were
happy
enough
to
share
his
passion
.
I
married
the
man
Tempest
,
feeling
that
like
many
women
I
knew
,
I
should
when
safely
wedded
,
have
greater
liberty
of
action
--
I
was
aware
that
most
modern
men
prefer
an
amour
with
a
married
woman
to
any
other
kind
of
liaison
--
and
I
thought
Lucio
would
have
readily
yielded
to
the
plan
I
had
pre-conceived
.
But
I
was
mistaken
--
and
out
of
this
mistake
comes
all
my
perplexity
,
pain
and
bewilderment
I
can
not
understand
why
my
love
--
beloved
beyond
all
word
or
thought
--
should
scorn
me
and
repulse
me
with
such
bitter
loathing
!
It
is
such
a
common
thing
now-a-days
for
a
married
woman
to
have
her
own
lover
,
apart
from
her
husband
de
convenance
!
The
writers
of
books
advise
it
--
I
have
seen
the
custom
not
only
excused
but
advocated
over
and
over
again
in
long
and
scientific
articles
that
are
openly
published
in
leading
magazines
.
Why
then
should
I
be
blamed
or
my
desires
considered
criminal
?
As
long
as
no
public
scandal
is
made
,
what
harm
is
done
?
I
can
not
see
it
--
it
is
not
as
if
there
were
a
God
to
care
--
the
scientists
say
there
is
no
God
!
·
·
·
·
·
I
was
very
startled
just
now
.
I
thought
I
heard
Lucio
's
voice
calling
me
.
I
have
walked
through
the
rooms
looking
everywhere
,
and
I
opened
my
door
to
listen
,
but
there
is
no
one
.
I
am
alone
.
I
have
told
the
servant
not
to
disturb
me
till
I
ring
;
...
I
shall
never
ring
!
Now
I
come
to
think
of
it
,
it
is
singular
that
I
have
never
known
who
Lucio
really
is
.
A
prince
,
he
says
--
and
that
I
can
well
believe
--
though
truly
princes
now-a-days
are
so
plebeian
and
common
in
look
and
bearing
that
he
seems
too
great
to
belong
to
so
shabby
a
fraternity
.
From
what
kingdom
does
he
come
?
--
to
what
nation
does
he
belong
?
These
are
questions
which
he
never
answers
save
equivocally
.
·
·
·
·
·
I
pause
here
,
and
look
at
myself
in
the
mirror
.
How
beautiful
I
am
!
I
note
with
admiration
the
deep
and
dewy
lustre
of
my
eyes
and
their
dark
silky
fringes
--
I
see
the
delicate
colouring
of
my
cheeks
and
lips
--
the
dear
rounded
chin
with
its
pretty
dimple
--
the
pure
lines
of
my
slim
throat
and
snowy
neck
--
the
glistening
wealth
of
my
long
hair
.
All
this
was
given
to
me
for
the
attraction
and
luring
of
men
,
but
my
love
,
whom
I
love
with
all
this
living
,
breathing
,
exquisite
being
of
mine
,
can
see
no
beauty
in
me
,
and
rejects
me
with
such
scorn
as
pierces
my
very
soul
.
I
have
knelt
to
him
--
I
have
prayed
to
him
--
I
have
worshipped
him
--
in
vain
!
Hence
it
comes
that
I
must
die
.
Only
one
thing
he
said
that
had
the
sound
of
hope
,
though
the
utterance
was
fierce
,
and
his
looks
were
cruel
--
'
Patience
!
'
he
whispered
--
'
we
shall
meet
ere
long
!
'
What
did
he
mean
?
--
what
possible
meeting
can
there
be
now
,
when
death
must
close
the
gate
of
life
,
and
even
love
would
come
too
late
!
·
·
·
·
·
I
have
unlocked
my
jewel-case
and
taken
from
it
the
deadly
thing
secreted
there
--
a
poison
that
was
entrusted
to
me
by
one
of
the
physicians
who
lately
attended
my
mother
.
'
Keep
this
under
lock
and
key
,
'
he
said
,
'
and
be
sure
that
it
is
used
only
for
external
purposes
.
There
is
sufficient
in
this
flask
to
kill
ten
men
,
if
swallowed
by
mistake
.
'
I
look
at
it
wonderingly
.
It
is
colourless
--
and
there
is
not
enough
to
fill
a
teaspoon
,
...
yet
...
