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I
was
terribly
hungry
,
and
I
did
not
know
what
to
do
with
myself
and
my
shameless
appetite
.
I
writhed
from
side
to
side
on
the
seat
,
and
bowed
my
chest
right
down
to
my
knees
;
I
was
almost
distracted
.
When
it
got
dark
I
jogged
along
to
the
Town
Hall
--
God
knows
how
I
got
there
--
and
sat
on
the
edge
of
the
balustrade
.
I
tore
a
pocket
out
of
my
coat
and
took
to
chewing
it
;
not
with
any
defined
object
,
but
with
dour
mien
and
unseeing
eyes
,
staring
straight
into
space
.
I
could
hear
a
group
of
little
children
playing
around
near
me
,
and
perceive
,
in
an
instinctive
sort
of
way
,
some
pedestrians
pass
me
by
;
otherwise
I
observed
nothing
.
All
at
once
,
it
enters
my
head
to
go
to
one
of
the
meat
bazaars
underneath
me
,
and
beg
a
piece
of
raw
meat
.
I
go
straight
along
the
balustrade
to
the
other
side
of
the
bazaar
buildings
,
and
descend
the
steps
.
When
I
had
nearly
reached
the
stalls
on
the
lower
floor
,
I
called
up
the
archway
leading
to
the
stairs
,
and
made
a
threatening
backward
gesture
,
as
if
I
were
talking
to
a
dog
up
there
,
and
boldly
addressed
the
first
butcher
I
met
.
"
Ah
,
will
you
be
kind
enough
to
give
me
a
bone
for
my
dog
?
"
I
said
;
"
only
a
bone
.
There
need
n't
be
anything
on
it
;
it
's
just
to
give
him
something
to
carry
in
his
mouth
.
"
I
got
the
bone
,
a
capital
little
bone
,
on
which
there
still
remained
a
morsel
of
meat
,
and
hid
it
under
my
coat
.
I
thanked
the
man
so
heartily
that
he
looked
at
me
in
amazement
.
"
Oh
,
no
need
of
thanks
,
"
said
he
.
"
Oh
yes
;
do
n't
say
that
,
"
I
mumbled
;
"
it
is
kindly
done
of
you
,
"
and
I
ascended
the
steps
again
.
My
heart
was
throbbing
violently
in
my
breast
.
I
sneaked
into
one
of
the
passages
,
where
the
forges
are
,
as
far
in
as
I
could
go
,
and
stopped
outside
a
dilapidated
door
leading
to
a
back-yard
.
There
was
no
light
to
be
seen
anywhere
,
only
blessed
darkness
all
around
me
;
and
I
began
to
gnaw
at
the
bone
.
It
had
no
taste
;
a
rank
smell
of
blood
oozed
from
it
,
and
I
was
forced
to
vomit
almost
immediately
.
I
tried
anew
.
If
I
could
only
keep
it
down
,
it
would
,
in
spite
of
all
,
have
some
effect
.
It
was
simply
a
matter
of
forcing
it
to
remain
down
there
.
But
I
vomited
again
.
I
grew
wild
,
bit
angrily
into
the
meat
,
tore
off
a
morsel
,
and
gulped
it
down
by
sheer
strength
of
will
;
and
yet
it
was
of
no
use
.
Just
as
soon
as
the
little
fragments
of
meat
became
warm
in
my
stomach
up
they
came
again
,
worse
luck
.
I
clenched
my
hands
in
frenzy
,
burst
into
tears
from
sheer
helplessness
,
and
gnawed
away
as
one
possessed
.
I
cried
,
so
that
the
bone
got
wet
and
dirty
with
my
tears
,
vomited
,
cursed
and
groaned
again
,
cried
as
if
my
heart
would
break
,
and
vomited
anew
.
I
consigned
all
the
powers
that
be
to
the
lowermost
torture
in
the
loudest
voice
.
Quiet
--
not
a
soul
about
--
no
light
,
no
noise
;
I
am
in
a
state
of
the
most
fearful
excitement
;
I
breathe
hardly
and
audibly
,
and
I
cry
with
gnashing
teeth
,
each
time
that
the
morsel
of
meat
,
which
might
satisfy
me
a
little
,
comes
up
.
As
I
find
that
,
in
spite
of
all
my
efforts
,
it
avails
me
naught
,
I
cast
the
bone
at
the
door
.
I
am
filled
with
the
most
impotent
hate
;
shriek
,
and
menace
with
my
fists
towards
Heaven
;
yell
God
's
name
hoarsely
,
and
bend
my
fingers
like
claws
,
with
ill-suppressed
fury
...
.
