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"
Now
,
listen
here
,
"
I
reply
;
"
I
did
n't
want
to
get
you
into
trouble
in
any
way
;
but
that
is
the
thanks
one
gets
for
being
generous
.
Here
I
stand
and
explain
the
whole
thing
to
you
,
and
you
simply
,
instead
of
being
ashamed
as
a
dog
,
make
no
effort
to
settle
the
dispute
with
me
.
Therefore
I
wash
my
hands
of
you
,
and
as
for
the
rest
,
I
say
,
'
The
devil
take
you
!
'
Good
-
day
.
"
I
left
,
slamming
the
door
behind
me
.
But
when
I
got
home
to
my
room
,
into
the
melancholy
hole
,
wet
through
from
the
soft
snow
,
trembling
in
my
knees
from
the
day
's
wanderings
,
I
dismounted
instantly
from
my
high
horse
,
and
sank
together
once
more
.
I
regretted
my
attack
upon
the
poor
shop-boy
,
wept
,
clutched
myself
by
the
throat
to
punish
myself
for
my
miserable
trick
,
and
behaved
like
a
lunatic
.
He
had
naturally
been
in
the
most
deadly
terror
for
the
sake
of
his
situation
;
he
had
not
dared
to
make
any
fuss
about
the
five
shillings
that
were
lost
to
the
business
,
and
I
had
taken
advantage
of
his
fear
,
had
tortured
him
with
my
violent
address
,
stabbed
him
with
every
loud
word
that
I
had
roared
out
.
And
the
master
himself
had
perhaps
been
sitting
inside
the
inner
room
,
almost
within
an
ace
of
feeling
called
upon
to
come
out
and
inquire
what
was
the
row
.
No
,
there
was
no
longer
any
limit
to
the
low
things
I
might
be
tempted
to
do
.
Well
,
why
had
n't
I
been
locked
up
?
then
it
would
have
come
to
an
end
.
I
would
almost
have
stretched
out
my
wrists
for
the
handcuffs
.
I
would
not
have
offered
the
slightest
resistance
;
on
the
contrary
,
I
would
have
assisted
them
.
Lord
of
Heaven
and
Earth
!
one
day
of
my
life
for
one
happy
second
again
!
My
whole
life
for
a
mess
of
lentils
!
Hear
me
only
this
once
!
...
I
lay
down
in
the
wet
clothes
I
had
on
,
with
a
vague
idea
that
I
might
die
during
the
night
.
And
I
used
my
last
strength
to
tidy
up
my
bed
a
little
,
so
that
it
might
appear
a
little
orderly
about
me
in
the
morning
.
I
folded
my
hands
and
chose
my
position
.
All
at
once
I
remember
Ylajali
.
To
think
that
I
could
have
forgotten
her
the
entire
evening
through
!
And
light
forces
its
way
ever
so
faintly
into
my
spirit
again
--
a
little
ray
of
sunshine
that
makes
me
so
blessedly
warm
;
and
gradually
more
sun
comes
,
a
rare
,
silken
,
balmy
light
that
caresses
me
with
soothing
loveliness
.
And
the
sun
grows
stronger
and
stronger
,
burns
sharply
in
my
temples
,
seethes
fiercely
and
glowingly
in
my
emaciated
brain
.
And
at
last
,
a
maddening
pyre
of
rays
flames
up
before
my
eyes
;
a
heaven
and
earth
in
conflagration
men
and
beasts
of
fire
,
mountains
of
fire
,
devils
of
fire
,
an
abyss
,
a
wilderness
,
a
hurricane
,
a
universe
in
brazen
ignition
,
a
smoking
,
smouldering
day
of
doom
!
And
I
saw
and
heard
no
more
...
.
I
woke
in
a
sweat
the
next
morning
,
moist
all
over
,
my
whole
body
bathed
in
dampness
.
The
fever
had
laid
violent
hands
on
me
.
At
first
I
had
no
clear
idea
of
what
had
happened
to
me
;
I
looked
about
me
in
amazement
,
felt
a
complete
transformation
of
my
being
,
absolutely
failed
to
recognize
myself
again
.
I
felt
along
my
own
arms
and
down
my
legs
,
was
struck
with
astonishment
that
the
window
was
where
it
was
,
and
not
in
the
opposite
wall
;
and
I
could
hear
the
tramp
of
the
horses
'
feet
in
the
yard
below
as
if
it
came
from
above
me
.
I
felt
rather
sick
,
too
--
qualmish
.
My
hair
clung
wet
and
cold
about
my
forehead
.
I
raised
myself
on
my
elbow
and
looked
at
the
pillow
;
damp
hair
lay
on
it
,
too
,
in
patches
.
