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I
tell
you
,
you
Heaven
's
Holy
Baal
,
you
do
n't
exist
;
but
that
,
if
you
did
,
I
would
curse
you
so
that
your
Heaven
would
quiver
with
the
fire
of
hell
!
I
tell
you
,
I
have
offered
you
my
service
,
and
you
repulsed
me
;
and
I
turn
my
back
on
you
for
all
eternity
,
because
you
did
not
know
your
time
of
visitation
!
I
tell
you
that
I
am
about
to
die
,
and
yet
I
mock
you
!
You
Heaven
God
and
Apis
!
with
death
staring
me
in
the
face
--
I
tell
you
,
I
would
rather
be
a
bondsman
in
hell
than
a
freedman
in
your
mansions
!
I
tell
you
,
I
am
filled
with
a
blissful
contempt
for
your
divine
paltriness
;
and
I
choose
the
abyss
of
destruction
for
a
perpetual
resort
,
where
the
devils
Judas
and
Pharaoh
are
cast
down
!
I
tell
you
your
Heaven
is
full
of
the
kingdom
of
the
earth
's
most
crass
-
headed
idiots
and
poverty-stricken
in
spirit
!
I
tell
you
,
you
have
filled
your
Heaven
with
the
grossest
and
most
cherished
harlots
from
here
below
,
who
have
bent
their
knees
piteously
before
you
at
their
hour
of
death
!
I
tell
you
,
you
have
used
force
against
me
,
and
you
know
not
,
you
omniscient
nullity
,
that
I
never
bend
in
opposition
!
I
tell
you
,
all
my
life
,
every
cell
in
my
body
,
every
power
of
my
soul
,
gasps
to
mock
you
--
you
Gracious
Monster
on
High
.
I
tell
you
,
I
would
,
if
I
could
,
breathe
it
into
every
human
soul
,
every
flower
,
every
leaf
,
every
dewdrop
in
the
garden
!
I
tell
you
,
I
would
scoff
you
on
the
day
of
doom
,
and
curse
the
teeth
out
of
my
mouth
for
the
sake
of
your
Deity
's
boundless
miserableness
!
I
tell
you
from
this
hour
I
renounce
all
thy
works
and
all
thy
pomps
!
I
will
execrate
my
thought
if
it
dwell
on
you
again
,
and
tear
out
my
lips
if
they
ever
utter
your
name
!
I
tell
you
,
if
you
exist
,
my
last
word
in
life
or
in
death
--
I
bid
you
farewell
,
for
all
time
and
eternity
--
I
bid
you
farewell
with
heart
and
reins
.
I
bid
you
the
last
irrevocable
farewell
,
and
I
am
silent
,
and
turn
my
back
on
you
and
go
my
way
...
.
Quiet
.
I
tremble
with
excitement
and
exhaustion
,
and
stand
on
the
same
spot
,
still
whispering
oaths
and
abusive
epithets
,
hiccoughing
after
the
violent
crying
fit
,
broken
down
and
apathetic
after
my
frenzied
outburst
of
rage
.
I
stand
there
for
maybe
an
hour
,
hiccough
and
whisper
,
and
hold
on
to
the
door
.
Then
I
hear
voices
--
a
conversation
between
two
men
who
are
coming
down
the
passage
.
I
slink
away
from
the
door
,
drag
myself
along
the
walls
of
the
houses
,
and
come
out
again
into
the
light
streets
.
As
I
jog
along
Young
's
Hill
my
brain
begins
to
work
in
a
most
peculiar
direction
.
It
occurs
to
me
that
the
wretched
hovels
down
at
the
corner
of
the
market
-
place
,
the
stores
for
loose
materials
,
the
old
booths
for
second-hand
clothes
,
are
really
a
disgrace
to
the
place
--
they
spoilt
the
whole
appearance
of
the
market
,
and
were
a
blot
on
the
town
,
Fie
!
away
with
the
rubbish
!
And
I
turned
over
in
my
mind
as
I
walked
on
what
it
would
cost
to
remove
the
Geographical
Survey
down
there
--
that
handsome
building
which
had
always
attracted
me
so
much
each
time
I
passed
it
.
It
would
perhaps
not
be
possible
to
undertake
a
removal
of
that
kind
under
two
or
three
hundred
pounds
.
A
pretty
sum
--
three
hundred
pounds
!
One
must
admit
,
a
tidy
enough
little
sum
for
pocket-money
!
Ha
,
ha
!
just
to
make
a
start
with
,
eh
?
and
I
nodded
my
head
,
and
conceded
that
it
was
a
tidy
enough
bit
of
pocket-money
to
make
a
start
with
.
I
was
still
trembling
over
my
whole
body
,
and
hiccoughed
now
and
then
violently
after
my
cry
.
I
had
a
feeling
that
there
was
not
much
life
left
in
me
--
that
I
was
really
singing
my
last
verse
.
It
was
almost
a
matter
of
indifference
to
me
;
it
did
not
trouble
me
in
the
least
.
On
the
contrary
,
I
wended
my
way
down
town
,
down
to
the
wharf
,
farther
and
farther
away
from
my
room
.
I
would
,
for
that
matter
,
have
willingly
laid
myself
down
flat
in
the
street
to
die
.
My
sufferings
were
rendering
me
more
and
more
callous
.
My
sore
foot
throbbed
violently
;
I
had
a
sensation
as
if
the
pain
was
creeping
up
through
my
whole
leg
.
But
not
even
that
caused
me
any
particular
distress
.
I
had
endured
worse
sensations
.
In
this
manner
,
I
reached
the
railway
wharf
.
There
was
no
traffic
,
no
noise
--
only
here
and
there
a
person
to
be
seen
,
a
labourer
or
sailor
slinking
round
with
their
hands
in
their
pockets
.
I
took
notice
of
a
lame
man
,
who
looked
sharply
at
me
as
we
passed
one
another
.
I
stopped
him
instinctively
,
touched
my
hat
,
and
inquired
if
he
knew
if
the
Nun
had
sailed
.
Someway
,
I
could
n't
help
snapping
my
fingers
right
under
the
man
's
nose
,
and
saying
,
"
Ay
,
by
Jove
,
the
Nun
;
yes
,
the
Nun
!
"
which
I
had
totally
forgotten
.
All
the
same
,
the
thought
of
her
had
been
smouldering
in
me
.
I
had
carried
it
about
unconsciously
.
Yes
,
bless
me
,
the
Nun
had
sailed
.
He
could
n't
tell
me
where
she
had
sailed
to
?
The
man
reflects
,
stands
on
his
long
leg
,
keeps
the
other
up
in
the
air
;
it
dangles
a
little
.
"
No
,
"
he
replies
.
"
Do
you
know
what
cargo
she
was
taking
in
here
?
"
