Голод/Hunger (Кнут Гамсун). Страница 102 из 143

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"

No

,

"

I

answer

.

But

by

this

time

I

had

already

lost

interest

in

the

Nun

,

and

I

asked

the

man

how

far

it

might

be

to

Holmestrand

,

reckoned

in

good

old

geographical

miles

.

"

To

Holmestrand

?

I

should

think

...

"

"

Or

to

Voeblungsnaess

?

"

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"

What

was

I

going

to

say

?

I

should

think

to

Holmestrand

...

"

"

Oh

,

never

mind

;

I

have

just

remembered

it

,

"

I

interrupted

him

again

.

"

You

would

n't

perhaps

be

so

kind

as

to

give

me

a

small

bit

of

tobacco

--

only

just

a

tiny

scrap

?

"

I

received

the

tobacco

,

thanked

the

man

heartily

,

and

went

on

.

I

made

no

use

of

the

tobacco

;

I

put

it

into

my

pocket

.

He

still

kept

his

eye

on

me

--

perhaps

I

had

aroused

his

suspicions

in

some

other

way

or

another

.

Whether

I

stood

still

or

walked

on

,

I

felt

his

suspicious

look

following

me

.

I

had

no

mind

to

be

persecuted

by

this

creature

.

I

turn

round

,

and

,

dragging

myself

back

to

him

,

say

:

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"

Binder

"

--

only

this

one

word

,

"

Binder

!

"

no

more

.

I

looked

fixedly

at

him

as

I

say

it

,

indeed

I

was

conscious

of

staring

fearfully

at

him

.

It

was

as

if

I

saw

him

with

my

entire

body

instead

of

only

with

my

eyes

.

I

stare

for

a

while

after

I

give

utterance

to

this

word

,

and

then

I

jog

along

again

to

the

railway

square

.

The

man

does

not

utter

a

syllable

,

he

only

keeps

his

gaze

fixed

upon

me

.

"

Binder

!

"

I

stood

suddenly

still

.

Yes

,

was

n't

that

just

what

I

had

a

feeling

of

the

moment

I

met

the

old

chap

;

a

feeling

that

I

had

met

him

before

!

One

bright

morning

up

in

Graendsen

,

when

I

pawned

my

waistcoat

.

It

seemed

to

me

an

eternity

since

that

day

.

Whilst

I

stand

and

ponder

over

this

,

I

lean

and

support

myself

against

a

house

wall

at

the

corner

of

the

railway

square

and

Harbour

Street

.

Suddenly

,

I

start

quickly

and

make

an

effort

to

crawl

away

.

As

I

do

not

succeed

in

it

,

I

stare

case-hardened

ahead

of

me

and

fling

all

shame

to

the

winds

.

There

is

no

help

for

it

.

I

am

standing

face

to

face

with

the

"

Commandor

.

"

I

get

devil-may-care

--

brazen

.

I

take

yet

a

step

farther

from

the

wall

in

order

to

make

him

notice

me

.

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