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"
A
splenectomy
,
"
Nurse
Ramirez
replies
.
"
Could
be
a
missed
blood
vessel
that
wasn
’
t
cauterized
,
"
the
doctor
says
.
"
Or
a
slow
leak
from
a
perforated
bowel
.
Car
accident
,
right
?
"
"
Yes
.
Patient
was
medevaced
in
this
morning
.
"
The
doctor
flips
through
my
chart
.
"
Doctor
Sorensen
was
her
surgeon
.
He
’
s
still
on
call
.
Page
him
,
get
her
to
the
OR
.
We
need
to
get
inside
and
find
out
what
’
s
leaking
,
and
why
,
before
she
drops
any
further
.
Jesus
,
brain
contusions
,
collapsed
lung
.
This
kid
’
s
a
train
wreck
.
"
Nurse
Ramirez
shoots
the
doctor
a
dirty
look
,
as
if
he
had
just
insulted
me
.
"
Miss
Ramirez
,
"
the
grumpy
nurse
at
the
desk
scolds
.
"
You
have
patients
of
your
own
to
deal
with
.
Let
’
s
get
this
young
woman
intubated
and
transferred
to
the
OR
.
That
will
do
her
more
good
than
all
this
dillydallying
around
!
"
The
nurses
work
rapidly
to
detach
the
monitors
and
catheters
and
run
another
tube
down
my
throat
.
A
pair
of
orderlies
rush
in
with
a
gurney
and
heave
me
onto
it
.
I
’
m
still
nak
*
d
from
the
waist
down
as
they
hustle
me
out
,
but
right
before
I
reach
the
back
door
,
Nurse
Ramirez
calls
,
"
Wait
!
"
and
then
gently
closes
the
hospital
gown
around
my
legs
.
She
taps
me
three
times
on
the
forehead
with
her
fingers
,
like
it
’
s
some
kind
of
Morse
code
message
.
And
then
I
’
m
gone
into
the
maze
of
hallways
leading
toward
the
OR
for
another
round
of
cutting
,
but
this
time
I
don
’
t
follow
myself
.
This
time
I
stay
behind
in
the
ICU
.
I
am
starting
to
get
it
now
.
I
mean
,
I
don
’
t
totally
fully
understand
.
It
’
s
not
like
I
somehow
commanded
a
blood
vessel
to
pop
open
and
start
leaking
into
my
stomach
.
It
’
s
not
like
I
wished
for
another
surgery
.
But
Teddy
is
gone
.
Mom
and
Dad
are
gone
.
This
morning
I
went
for
a
drive
with
my
family
.
And
now
I
am
here
,
as
alone
as
I
’
ve
ever
been
.
I
am
seventeen
years
old
.
This
is
not
how
it
’
s
supposed
to
be
.
This
is
not
how
my
life
is
supposed
to
turn
out
.
In
the
quiet
corner
of
the
ICU
I
start
to
really
think
about
the
bitter
things
I
’
ve
managed
to
ignore
so
far
today
.
What
would
it
be
like
if
I
stay
?
What
would
it
feel
like
to
wake
up
an
orphan
?
To
never
smell
Dad
smoke
a
pipe
?
To
never
stand
next
to
Mom
quietly
talking
as
we
do
the
dishes
?
To
never
read
Teddy
another
chapter
of
Harry
Potter
?
To
stay
without
them
?
