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Kerry
the
avowed
left
-
winger
who
decided
to
protest
the
Iraq
war
by
getting
a
bunch
of
guys
to
dress
up
in
drag
and
go
down
to
the
local
army
recruiting
office
to
enlist
.
Kerry
the
atheist
curmudgeon
,
who
hated
how
commercialized
Christmas
had
become
and
so
threw
an
annual
Merry
Anti
-
Christmas
Celebration
at
the
club
,
where
he
held
a
contest
for
which
band
could
play
the
most
distorted
versions
of
Christmas
carols
.
Then
he
invited
everyone
to
throw
all
their
crappy
presents
into
a
big
pile
in
the
middle
of
the
club
.
And
contrary
to
local
lore
,
Kerry
did
not
burn
the
stuff
in
a
bonfire
;
Dad
told
me
that
he
donated
it
to
St
.
Vincent
de
Paul
.
As
everyone
talked
about
Kerry
,
the
mood
in
the
car
was
fizzy
and
fun
,
like
we
were
going
to
the
circus
,
not
a
funeral
.
But
it
seemed
right
,
it
seemed
true
to
Kerry
,
who
was
always
overflowing
with
frenetic
energy
.
The
funeral
,
though
,
was
the
opposite
.
It
was
horribly
depressing
—
and
not
just
because
it
was
for
someone
who
’
d
died
tragically
young
and
for
no
particular
reason
aside
from
some
bad
arterial
luck
.
It
was
held
in
a
huge
church
,
which
seemed
strange
considering
Kerry
was
an
outspoken
atheist
,
but
that
part
I
could
understand
.
I
mean
where
else
do
you
have
a
funeral
?
The
problem
was
the
service
itself
.
It
was
obvious
that
the
pastor
had
never
even
met
Kerry
because
when
he
talked
about
him
,
it
was
generic
,
about
what
a
kind
heart
Kerry
had
and
how
even
though
it
was
sad
that
he
was
gone
,
he
was
getting
his
"
heavenly
reward
.
"
And
instead
of
having
eulogies
from
his
bandmates
or
the
people
in
town
who
he
’
d
spent
the
last
fifteen
years
with
,
some
uncle
from
Boise
got
up
and
talked
about
teaching
Kerry
how
to
ride
a
bike
when
he
was
six
,
like
learning
to
ride
a
bike
was
the
defining
moment
in
Kerry
’
s
life
.
He
concluded
by
reassuring
us
that
Kerry
was
walking
with
Jesus
now
.
I
could
see
my
mom
getting
red
when
he
said
that
,
and
I
started
to
get
a
little
worried
that
she
might
say
something
.
We
went
to
church
sometimes
,
so
it
’
s
not
like
Mom
had
anything
against
religion
,
but
Kerry
totally
did
and
Mom
was
ferociously
protective
of
the
people
she
loved
,
so
much
that
she
took
insults
upon
them
personally
.
Her
friends
sometimes
called
her
Mama
Bear
for
this
reason
.
Steam
was
practically
blowing
out
of
Mom
’
s
ears
by
the
time
the
service
ended
with
a
rousing
rendition
of
Bette
Midler
’
s
"
Wind
Beneath
My
Wings
.
"
"
It
’
s
a
good
thing
Kerry
’
s
dead
,
because
that
funeral
would
’
ve
sent
him
over
the
edge
,
"
Henry
said
.
After
the
church
service
,
we
’
d
decided
to
skip
the
formal
luncheon
and
had
gone
to
a
diner
.
"
‘
Wind
Beneath
My
Wings
’
?
"
Adam
asked
,
absentmindedly
taking
my
hand
into
his
and
blowing
on
it
,
which
is
what
he
did
to
warm
my
perpetually
cold
fingers
.
"
What
’
s
wrong
with
‘
Amazing
Grace
’
?
It
’
s
still
traditional
—
"
"
But
doesn
’
t
make
you
want
to
puke
,
"
Henry
interjected
.
"
Or
better
yet
,
‘
Three
Little
Birds
’
by
Bob
Marley
.
That
would
have
been
a
more
Kerry
-
worthy
song
.
Something
to
toast
the
guy
he
was
.
"
"
That
funeral
wasn
’
t
about
celebrating
Kerry
’
s
life
,
"
Mom
growled
,
yanking
at
her
scarf
.
"
It
was
about
repudiating
it
.
It
was
like
they
killed
him
all
over
again
.
"
Dad
put
a
calming
hand
over
Mom
’
s
clenched
fist
.
"
Now
come
on
.
It
was
just
a
song
.
"
"
It
wasn
’
t
just
a
song
,
"
Mom
said
,
snatching
her
hand
away
.
"
It
was
what
it
represented
.
That
whole
charade
back
there
.
You
of
all
people
should
understand
.
"
