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"
Yeah
.
Our
schedules
are
too
busy
,
"
I
said
.
"
That
s
not
what
I
meant
,
"
Adam
said
,
turning
my
face
toward
his
so
I
was
looking
at
him
in
the
eye
.
"
I
know
that
s
not
what
you
meant
,
"
I
replied
,
but
then
a
lump
lodged
itself
in
my
throat
and
I
couldn
t
talk
anymore
.
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We
tried
to
defuse
the
tension
,
to
talk
about
it
without
really
talking
about
it
,
to
joke
-
ify
it
.
"
You
know
I
read
in
US
News
and
World
Report
that
Willamette
University
has
a
good
music
program
,
"
Adam
told
me
.
"
It
s
in
Salem
,
which
is
apparently
getting
hipper
by
the
moment
.
"
"
According
to
who
?
The
governor
?
"
I
replied
.
"
Liz
found
some
good
stuff
at
a
vintage
-
clothing
store
there
.
And
you
know
,
once
the
vintage
places
come
in
,
the
hipsters
aren
t
far
behind
.
"
"
You
forget
,
I
m
not
a
hipster
,
"
I
reminded
him
.
"
But
speaking
of
,
maybe
Shooting
Star
should
move
to
New
York
.
I
mean
,
it
s
the
heart
of
the
punk
scene
.
The
Ramones
.
Blondie
.
"
My
tone
was
frothy
and
flirtatious
,
an
Oscar
-
worthy
performance
.
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"
That
was
thirty
years
ago
,
"
Adam
said
.
"
And
even
if
I
wanted
to
move
to
New
York
,
there
s
no
way
the
rest
of
the
band
would
.
"
He
stared
mournfully
at
his
shoes
and
I
recognized
the
joking
part
of
the
conversation
had
ended
.
My
stomach
lurched
,
an
appetizer
before
the
full
portion
of
heartache
I
had
a
feeling
was
going
to
be
served
at
some
point
soon
.
Adam
and
I
had
never
been
the
kind
of
couple
to
talk
about
the
future
,
about
where
our
relationship
was
going
,
but
with
things
suddenly
so
unclear
,
we
avoided
talking
about
anything
that
was
happening
more
than
a
few
weeks
away
,
and
this
made
our
conversations
as
stilted
and
awkward
as
they
d
been
in
those
early
weeks
together
before
we
d
found
our
groove
.
One
afternoon
in
the
fall
,
I
spotted
a
beautiful
1930s
silk
gown
in
the
vintage
store
where
Dad
bought
his
suits
and
I
almost
pointed
it
out
to
Adam
and
asked
if
he
thought
I
should
wear
that
to
the
prom
,
but
prom
was
in
June
and
maybe
Adam
would
be
on
tour
in
June
or
maybe
I
d
be
too
busy
getting
ready
for
Juilliard
,
so
I
didn
t
say
anything
.
Not
long
after
that
,
Adam
was
complaining
about
his
decrepit
guitar
,
saying
he
wanted
to
get
a
vintage
Gibson
SG
,
and
I
offered
to
get
it
for
him
for
his
birthday
.
But
then
he
said
that
those
guitars
cost
thousands
of
dollars
,
and
besides
his
birthday
wasn
t
until
September
,
and
the
way
he
said
September
,
it
was
like
a
judge
issuing
a
prison
sentence
.
A
few
weeks
ago
,
we
went
to
a
New
Year
s
Eve
party
together
.
Adam
got
drunk
,
and
when
midnight
came
,
he
kissed
me
hard
.
"
Promise
me
.
Promise
me
you
ll
spend
New
Year
s
with
me
next
year
,
"
he
whispered
into
my
ear
.