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Luca
has
a
group
of
about
ten
close
friends
who
all
love
each
other
like
brothers
.
Except
that
half
of
them
are
Lazio
fans
and
half
of
them
are
Roma
fans
.
They
can
’
t
really
help
it
;
they
were
all
born
into
families
where
the
loyalty
was
already
established
.
Luca
’
s
grandfather
(
who
I
hope
is
known
as
Nonno
Spaghetti
)
gave
him
his
first
sky
-
blue
Lazio
jersey
when
the
boy
was
just
a
toddler
.
Luca
,
likewise
,
will
be
a
Lazio
fan
until
he
dies
.
"
We
can
change
our
wives
,
"
he
said
.
"
We
can
change
our
jobs
,
our
nationalities
and
even
our
religions
,
but
we
can
never
change
our
team
.
"
By
the
way
,
the
word
for
"
fan
"
in
Italian
is
tifoso
.
Derived
from
the
word
for
typhus
.
In
other
words
-
one
who
is
mightily
fevered
.
My
first
soccer
game
with
Luca
Spaghetti
was
,
for
me
,
a
delirious
banquet
of
Italian
language
.
I
learned
all
sorts
of
new
and
interesting
words
in
that
stadium
which
they
don
’
t
teach
you
in
school
.
There
was
an
old
man
sitting
behind
me
,
stringing
together
such
a
gorgeous
flower
-
chain
of
curses
as
he
screamed
down
at
the
players
on
the
field
.
I
don
’
t
know
all
that
much
about
soccer
,
but
I
sure
didn
’
t
waste
any
time
asking
Luca
inane
questions
about
what
was
going
on
in
the
game
.
All
I
kept
demanding
was
,
"
Luca
,
what
did
the
guy
behind
me
just
say
?
What
does
cafone
mean
?
"
And
Luca
-
never
taking
his
eyes
from
the
field
-
would
reply
,
"
Asshole
.
It
means
asshole
.
"
I
would
write
it
down
.
Then
shut
my
eyes
and
listen
to
some
more
of
the
old
man
’
s
rant
,
which
went
something
like
:
Dai
,
dai
,
dai
,
Albertini
,
dai
…
va
bene
,
va
bene
,
ragazzo
mio
,
perfetto
,
bravo
,
bravo
…
Dai
!
Dai
!
Via
!
Via
!
Nella
porta
!
Eccola
,
eccola
,
eccola
,
mio
bravo
ragazzo
,
caro
mio
,
eccola
,
eccola
,
ecco
-
AAAHHHHHHHHH
!
!
!
VAFFANCULO
!
!
!
FIGLIO
DI
MIGNOTTA
!
!
STRONZO
!
CAFONE
!
TRA
-
DITORE
!
Madonna
…
Ah
,
Dio
mio
,
perche
,
perche
,
perche
,
questo
e
stupido
,
e
una
vergogna
,
la
vergogna
…
Che
casino
,
che
bordello
…
NON
HAI
UN
CUORE
,
ALBERTINI
!
FAI
FINTA
!
Guarda
,
non
e
successo
niente
…
Dai
,
dai
,
ah
…
Molto
migliore
,
Albertini
,
molto
migliore
,
si
si
si
,
eccola
,
bello
,
bravo
,
anima
mia
,
ah
,
ottimo
,
eccola
adesso
…
nella
porta
,
nella
porta
,
nell
-
VAFFANCULO
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
Which
I
can
attempt
to
translate
as
:
Come
on
,
come
on
,
come
on
,
Albertini
,
come
on
…
OK
,
OK
,
my
boy
,
perfect
,
brilliant
,
brilliant
…
Come
on
!
Come
on
!
Go
!
Go
!
In
the
goal
!
There
it
is
,
there
it
is
,
there
it
is
,
my
brilliant
boy
,
my
dear
,
there
it
is
,
there
it
is
,
there
-
AHHHH
!
GO
FUCK
YOURSELF
!
YOU
SON
OF
A
BITCH
!
SHITHEAD
!
ASSHOLE
!
TRAITOR
!
…
Mother
of
God
…
Oh
my
God
,
why
,
why
,
why
,
this
is
stupid
,
this
is
shameful
,
the
shame
of
it
…
What
a
mess
…
[
Author
’
s
note
:
Unfortunately
there
’
s
no
good
way
to
translate
into
English
the
fabulous
Italian
expressions
che
casino
and
che
bordello
,
which
literally
mean
"
what
a
casino
,
"
and
"
what
a
whorehouse
,
"
but
essentially
mean
"
what
a
friggin
’
mess
.
