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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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- Стр. 72/452
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"
You
’
re
out
of
your
goddam
head
,
"
he
would
reply
.
"
I
mean
it
,
baby
,
"
she
insisted
.
"
So
do
I
.
"
"
Darling
,
we
’
re
going
to
have
a
baby
again
,
"
she
would
say
to
her
husband
.
"
I
haven
’
t
the
time
,
"
Lieutenant
Scheisskopf
would
grumble
petulantly
.
"
Don
’
t
you
know
there
’
s
a
parade
going
on
?
"
Lieutenant
Scheisskopf
cared
very
deeply
about
winning
parades
and
about
bringing
Clevinger
up
on
charges
before
the
Action
Board
for
conspiring
to
advocate
the
overthrow
of
the
cadet
officers
Lieutenant
Scheisskopf
had
appointed
.
Clevinger
was
a
troublemaker
and
a
wise
guy
.
Lieutenant
Scheisskopf
knew
that
Clevinger
might
cause
even
more
trouble
if
he
wasn
’
t
watched
.
Yesterday
it
was
the
cadet
officers
;
tomorrow
it
might
be
the
world
.
Clevinger
had
a
mind
,
and
Lieutenant
Scheisskopf
had
noticed
that
people
with
minds
tended
to
get
pretty
smart
at
times
.
Such
men
were
dangerous
,
and
even
the
new
cadet
officers
whom
Clevinger
had
helped
into
office
were
eager
to
give
damning
testimony
against
him
.
The
case
against
Clevinger
was
open
and
shut
.
The
only
thing
missing
was
something
to
charge
him
with
.
It
could
not
be
anything
to
do
with
parades
,
for
Clevinger
took
the
parades
almost
as
seriously
as
Lieutenant
Scheisskopf
himself
.
The
men
fell
out
for
the
parades
early
each
Sunday
afternoon
and
groped
their
way
into
ranks
of
twelve
outside
the
barracks
.
Groaning
with
hangovers
,
they
limped
in
step
to
their
station
on
the
main
paradeground
,
where
they
stood
motionless
in
the
heat
for
an
hour
or
two
with
the
men
from
the
sixty
or
seventy
other
cadet
squadrons
until
enough
of
them
had
collapsed
to
call
it
a
day
.
On
the
edge
of
the
field
stood
a
row
of
ambulances
and
teams
of
trained
stretcher
bearers
with
walkie
-
talkies
.
On
the
roofs
of
the
ambulances
were
spotters
with
binoculars
.
A
tally
clerk
kept
score
.
Supervising
this
entire
phase
of
the
operation
was
a
medical
officer
with
a
flair
for
accounting
who
okayed
pulses
and
checked
the
figures
of
the
tally
clerk
.
As
soon
as
enough
unconscious
men
had
been
collected
in
the
ambulances
,
the
medical
officer
signaled
the
bandmaster
to
strike
up
the
band
and
end
the
parade
.
One
behind
the
other
,
the
squadrons
marched
up
the
field
,
executed
a
cumbersome
turn
around
the
reviewing
stand
and
marched
down
the
field
and
back
to
their
barracks
.
Each
of
the
parading
squadrons
was
graded
as
it
marched
past
the
reviewing
stand
,
where
a
bloated
colonel
with
a
big
fat
mustache
sat
with
the
other
officers
.
The
best
squadron
in
each
wing
won
a
yellow
pennant
on
a
pole
that
was
utterly
worthless
.
The
best
squadron
on
the
base
won
a
red
pennant
on
a
longer
pole
that
was
worth
even
less
,
since
the
pole
was
heavier
and
was
that
much
more
of
a
nuisance
to
lug
around
all
week
until
some
other
squadron
won
it
the
following
Sunday
.
To
Yossarian
,
the
idea
of
pennants
as
prizes
was
absurd
.
No
money
went
with
them
,
no
class
privileges
.
Like
Olympic
medals
and
tennis
trophies
,
all
they
signified
was
that
the
owner
had
done
something
of
no
benefit
to
anyone
more
capably
than
everyone
else
.
The
parades
themselves
seemed
equally
absurd
.
Yossarian
hated
a
parade
.
Parades
were
so
martial
.
He
hated
hearing
them
,
hated
seeing
them
,
hated
being
tied
up
in
traffic
by
them
.
He
hated
being
made
to
take
part
in
them
.
It
was
bad
enough
being
an
aviation
cadet
without
having
to
act
like
a
soldier
in
the
blistering
heat
every
Sunday
afternoon
.
It
was
bad
enough
being
an
aviation
cadet
because
it
was
obvious
now
that
the
war
would
not
be
over
before
he
had
finished
his
training
.
That
was
the
only
reason
he
had
volunteered
for
cadet
training
in
the
first
place
.
As
a
soldier
who
had
qualified
for
aviation
cadet
training
,
he
had
weeks
and
weeks
of
waiting
for
assignment
to
a
class
,
weeks
and
weeks
more
to
become
a
bombardier
-
navigator
,
weeks
and
weeks
more
of
operational
training
after
that
to
prepare
him
for
overseas
duty
.
It
seemed
inconceivable
then
that
the
war
could
last
that
long
,
for
God
was
on
his
side
,
he
had
been
told
,
and
God
,
he
had
also
been
told
,
could
do
whatever
He
wanted
to
.
But
the
war
was
not
nearly
over
,
and
his
training
was
almost
complete
.
