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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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- Стр. 71/452
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"
He
says
he
won
’
t
punish
me
,
"
said
Clevinger
.
"
He
’
ll
castrate
you
,
"
said
Yossarian
.
"
I
swear
I
won
’
t
punish
you
,
"
said
Lieutenant
Scheisskopf
.
"
I
’
ll
be
grateful
to
the
man
who
tells
me
the
truth
.
"
"
He
’
ll
hate
you
,
"
said
Yossarian
.
"
To
his
dying
day
he
’
ll
hate
you
.
"
Lieutenant
Scheisskopf
was
an
R
.
O
.
T
.
C
.
graduate
who
was
rather
glad
that
war
had
broken
out
,
since
it
gave
him
an
opportunity
to
wear
an
officer
’
s
uniform
every
day
and
say
"
Men
"
in
a
clipped
,
military
voice
to
the
bunches
of
kids
who
fell
into
his
clutches
every
eight
weeks
on
their
way
to
the
butcher
’
s
block
.
He
was
an
ambitious
and
humorless
Lieutenant
Scheisskopf
,
who
confronted
his
responsibilities
soberly
and
smiled
only
when
some
rival
officer
at
the
Santa
Ana
Army
Air
Force
Base
came
down
with
a
lingering
disease
.
He
had
poor
eyesight
and
chronic
sinus
trouble
,
which
made
war
especially
exciting
for
him
,
since
he
was
in
no
danger
of
going
overseas
.
The
best
thing
about
him
was
his
wife
and
the
best
thing
about
his
wife
was
a
girl
friend
named
Dori
Duz
who
did
whenever
she
could
and
had
a
Wac
uniform
that
Lieutenant
Scheisskopf
’
s
wife
put
on
every
weekend
and
took
off
every
weekend
for
every
cadet
in
her
husband
’
s
squadron
who
wanted
to
creep
into
her
.
Dori
Duz
was
a
lively
little
tart
of
copper
-
green
and
gold
who
loved
doing
it
best
in
toolsheds
,
phone
booths
,
field
houses
and
bus
kiosks
.
There
was
little
she
hadn
’
t
tried
and
less
she
wouldn
’
t
.
She
was
shameless
,
slim
,
nineteen
and
aggressive
.
She
destroyed
egos
by
the
score
and
made
men
hate
themselves
in
the
morning
for
the
way
she
found
them
,
used
them
and
tossed
them
aside
.
Yossarian
loved
her
.
She
was
a
marvelous
piece
of
ass
who
found
him
only
fair
.
He
loved
the
feel
of
springy
muscle
beneath
her
skin
everywhere
he
touched
her
the
only
time
she
’
d
let
him
.
Yossarian
loved
Dori
Duz
so
much
that
he
couldn
’
t
help
flinging
himself
down
passionately
on
top
of
Lieutenant
Scheisskopf
’
s
wife
every
week
to
revenge
himself
upon
Lieutenant
Scheisskopf
for
the
way
Lieutenant
Scheisskopf
was
revenging
himself
upon
Clevinger
.
Lieutenant
Scheisskopf
’
s
wife
was
revenging
herself
upon
Lieutenant
Scheisskopf
for
some
unforgettable
crime
of
his
she
couldn
’
t
recall
.
She
was
a
plump
,
pink
,
sluggish
girl
who
read
good
books
and
kept
urging
Yossarian
not
to
be
so
bourgeois
without
the
r
.
She
was
never
without
a
good
book
close
by
,
not
even
when
she
was
lying
in
bed
with
nothing
on
her
but
Yossarian
and
Dori
Duz
’
s
dog
tags
.
She
bored
Yossarian
,
but
he
was
in
love
with
her
,
too
.
She
was
a
crazy
mathematics
major
from
the
Wharton
School
of
Business
who
could
not
count
to
twenty
-
eight
each
month
without
getting
into
trouble
.
"
Darling
,
we
’
re
going
to
have
a
baby
again
,
"
she
would
say
to
Yossarian
every
month
.
