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- Джозеф Хеллер
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- Уловка 22
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- Стр. 274/452
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"
Well
,
I
certainly
don
’
t
see
how
you
’
re
ever
going
to
amount
to
anything
else
if
you
keep
on
this
way
.
Corporal
Whitcomb
feels
that
you
fellows
haven
’
t
had
a
fresh
idea
in
nineteen
hundred
and
forty
-
four
years
,
and
I
’
m
inclined
to
agree
with
him
.
A
bright
boy
,
that
Corporal
Whitcomb
.
Well
,
it
’
s
all
going
to
change
.
"
Colonel
Cathcart
sat
down
at
his
desk
with
a
determined
air
and
cleared
a
large
neat
space
in
his
blotter
.
When
he
had
finished
,
he
tapped
his
finger
inside
it
.
"
Starting
tomorrow
,
"
he
said
,
"
I
want
you
and
Corporal
Whitcomb
to
write
a
letter
of
condolence
for
me
to
the
next
of
kin
of
every
man
in
the
group
who
’
s
killed
,
wounded
or
taken
prisoner
.
I
want
those
letters
to
be
sincere
letters
.
I
want
them
filled
up
with
lots
of
personal
details
so
there
’
ll
be
no
doubt
I
mean
every
word
you
say
.
Is
that
clear
?
"
The
chaplain
stepped
forward
impulsively
to
remonstrate
.
"
But
,
sir
,
that
’
s
impossible
!
"
he
blurted
out
.
"
We
don
’
t
even
know
all
the
men
that
well
.
"
"
What
difference
does
that
make
?
"
Colonel
Cathcart
demanded
,
and
then
smiled
amicably
.
"
Corporal
Whitcomb
brought
me
this
basic
form
letter
that
takes
care
of
just
about
every
situation
.
Listen
:
"
Dear
Mrs
.
,
Mr
.
,
Miss
,
or
Mr
.
and
Mrs
.
:
Words
cannot
express
the
deep
personal
grief
I
experienced
when
your
husband
,
son
,
father
or
brother
was
killed
,
wounded
or
reported
missing
in
action
.
"
And
so
on
.
I
think
that
opening
sentence
sums
up
my
sentiments
exactly
.
Listen
,
maybe
you
’
d
better
let
Corporal
Whitcomb
take
charge
of
the
whole
thing
if
you
don
’
t
feel
up
to
it
.
"
Colonel
Cathcart
whipped
out
his
cigarette
holder
and
flexed
it
between
both
hands
like
an
onyx
and
ivory
riding
crop
.
"
That
’
s
one
of
the
things
that
’
s
wrong
with
you
,
Chaplain
.
Corporal
Whitcomb
tells
me
you
don
’
t
know
how
to
delegate
responsibility
.
He
says
you
’
ve
got
no
initiative
either
.
You
’
re
not
going
to
disagree
with
me
,
are
you
?
"
"
No
,
sir
.
"
The
chaplain
shook
his
head
,
feeling
despicably
remiss
because
he
did
not
know
how
to
delegate
responsibility
and
had
no
initiative
,
and
because
he
really
had
been
tempted
to
disagree
with
the
colonel
.
His
mind
was
a
shambles
.
They
were
shooting
skeet
outside
,
and
every
time
a
gun
was
fired
his
senses
were
jarred
.
He
could
not
adjust
to
the
sound
of
the
shots
.
He
was
surrounded
by
bushels
of
plum
tomatoes
and
was
almost
convinced
that
he
had
stood
in
Colonel
Cathcart
’
s
office
on
some
similar
occasion
deep
in
the
past
and
had
been
surrounded
by
those
same
bushels
of
those
same
plum
tomatoes
.
Déjà
vu
again
.
The
setting
seemed
so
familiar
;
yet
it
also
seemed
so
distant
.
His
clothes
felt
grimy
and
old
,
and
he
was
deathly
afraid
he
smelled
.
"
You
take
things
too
seriously
,
Chaplain
,
"
Colonel
Cathcart
told
him
bluntly
with
an
air
of
adult
objectivity
.
"
That
’
s
another
one
of
the
things
that
’
s
wrong
with
you
.
That
long
face
of
yours
gets
everybody
depressed
.
Let
me
see
you
laugh
once
in
a
while
.
Come
on
,
Chaplain
.
You
give
me
a
belly
laugh
now
and
I
’
ll
give
you
a
whole
bushel
of
plum
tomatoes
.
"
He
waited
a
second
or
two
,
watching
,
and
then
chortled
victoriously
.
"
You
see
,
Chaplain
,
I
’
m
right
.
You
can
’
t
give
me
a
belly
laugh
,
can
you
?
"
"
No
,
sir
,
"
admitted
the
chaplain
meekly
,
swallowing
slowly
with
a
visible
effort
.
"
Not
right
now
.
I
’
m
very
thirsty
.
"
"
Then
get
yourself
a
drink
.
Colonel
Korn
keeps
some
bourbon
in
his
desk
.
You
ought
to
try
dropping
around
the
officers
"
club
with
us
some
evening
just
to
have
yourself
a
little
fun
.
Try
getting
lit
once
in
a
while
.
I
hope
you
don
’
t
feel
you
’
re
better
than
the
rest
of
us
just
because
you
’
re
a
professional
man
.
"
"
Oh
,
no
,
sir
,
"
the
chaplain
assured
him
with
embarrassment
.
"
As
a
matter
of
fact
,
I
have
been
going
to
the
officers
"
club
the
past
few
evenings
.
"
