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- Джон Фоулз
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- Коллекционер
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- Стр. 298/299
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It
’
s
like
the
pools
—
worse
,
there
aren
’
t
even
good
teams
and
bad
teams
and
likely
draws
.
You
can
’
t
ever
tell
how
it
will
turn
out
.
Just
A
versus
B
,
C
versus
D
,
and
nobody
knows
what
A
and
B
and
C
and
D
are
.
That
’
s
why
I
never
believed
in
God
.
I
think
we
are
just
insects
,
we
live
a
bit
and
then
die
and
that
’
s
the
lot
.
There
’
s
no
mercy
in
things
.
There
’
s
not
even
a
Great
Beyond
.
There
’
s
nothing
.
About
three
o
’
clock
I
dozed
off
,
so
I
went
up
to
get
a
last
sleep
,
I
lay
in
bed
seeing
it
all
,
the
going
into
Lewes
when
I
woke
up
,
coming
back
,
having
a
bonfire
,
locking
up
(
one
last
look
at
my
collection
)
and
then
going
down
.
She
was
waiting
for
me
down
there
.
I
would
say
we
were
in
love
,
in
the
letter
to
the
police
.
A
suicide
pact
.
It
would
be
"
The
End
.
"
As
it
happened
,
things
turned
out
rather
different
.
I
didn
’
t
wake
up
till
after
ten
,
it
was
another
nice
day
.
I
had
breakfast
and
then
I
went
into
Lewes
and
I
got
the
aspros
and
flowers
and
came
back
and
went
down
and
then
I
thought
I
would
just
have
a
last
look
through
her
things
.
It
was
lucky
I
did
.
I
found
her
diary
which
shows
she
never
loved
me
,
she
only
thought
of
herself
and
the
other
man
all
the
time
.
As
it
so
happens
,
anyway
,
as
soon
as
I
woke
up
I
began
to
have
more
sensible
ideas
,
it
’
s
just
like
me
to
see
only
the
dark
side
last
thing
at
night
and
to
wake
up
different
.
These
ideas
came
while
I
was
having
breakfast
,
not
deliberate
,
they
just
came
.
About
how
I
could
get
rid
of
the
body
.
I
thought
,
if
I
wasn
’
t
going
to
die
in
a
few
hours
,
I
could
do
this
and
that
.
I
had
a
lot
of
ideas
.
I
thought
how
I
would
like
to
prove
it
could
be
done
.
Nobody
finding
out
.
It
was
a
lovely
morning
.
The
country
round
Lewes
is
very
pretty
.
I
also
thought
that
I
was
acting
as
if
I
killed
her
,
but
she
died
,
after
all
.
A
doctor
probably
could
have
done
little
good
,
in
my
opinion
.
It
was
too
far
gone
.
Another
thing
that
morning
in
Lewes
,
it
was
a
real
coincidence
,
I
was
just
driving
to
the
flower
-
shop
when
a
girl
in
an
overall
crossed
the
crossing
where
I
stopped
to
let
people
over
.
For
a
moment
it
gave
me
a
turn
,
I
thought
I
was
seeing
a
ghost
,
she
had
the
same
hair
,
except
it
was
not
so
long
;
I
mean
she
had
the
same
size
and
the
same
way
of
walking
as
Miranda
.
I
couldn
’
t
take
my
eyes
off
her
,
and
I
just
had
to
park
the
car
and
go
back
the
way
she
was
where
I
had
the
good
fortune
to
see
her
go
into
the
Woolworth
’
s
.
Where
I
followed
and
found
she
works
behind
the
sweet
counter
.
