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- Джон Фоулз
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I
’
ve
got
to
put
it
down
.
Look
at
it
.
It
is
so
amazing
.
That
I
did
it
.
That
what
happened
happened
.
That
he
is
what
he
is
.
That
I
am
what
I
am
.
Things
left
like
this
.
Worse
than
ever
before
.
I
decided
to
do
it
this
morning
.
I
knew
I
had
to
do
something
extraordinary
.
To
give
myself
a
shock
as
well
as
him
.
I
arranged
to
have
a
bath
.
I
was
nice
to
him
all
day
.
I
dolled
myself
up
after
the
bath
.
Oceans
of
Mitsouko
.
I
stood
in
front
of
the
fire
,
showing
my
bare
feet
for
his
benefit
.
I
was
nervous
.
I
didn
’
t
know
if
I
could
go
through
with
it
.
And
having
my
hands
bound
.
But
I
had
three
glasses
of
sherry
quickly
.
I
shut
my
eyes
then
and
went
to
work
.
I
made
him
sit
down
and
then
I
sat
down
on
his
lap
.
He
was
so
stiff
,
so
shocked
,
that
I
had
to
go
on
.
If
he
’
d
clutched
at
me
,
perhaps
I
’
d
have
stopped
.
I
let
the
housecoat
fall
open
,
but
he
just
sat
there
with
me
on
his
lap
.
As
if
we
had
never
met
before
and
this
was
some
silly
party
game
.
Two
strangers
at
a
party
,
who
didn
’
t
much
like
each
other
.
In
a
nasty
perverted
way
it
was
exciting
.
A
woman
-
in
-
me
reaching
to
a
man
-
in
-
him
.
I
can
’
t
explain
,
it
was
also
the
feeling
that
he
didn
’
t
know
what
to
do
.
That
he
was
sheer
virgin
.
There
was
an
old
lady
of
Cork
who
took
a
young
priest
for
a
walk
.
I
must
have
been
drunk
.
