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- Джон Фоулз
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I
’
d
say
,
I
’
ve
come
back
because
I
’
m
not
sure
any
more
that
I
’
m
not
in
love
with
you
.
I
’
d
say
,
I
’
ve
been
naked
with
a
man
I
loathed
.
I
’
ve
been
at
bottom
.
I
’
d
let
him
have
me
.
But
I
still
couldn
’
t
bear
to
see
him
sneaking
off
with
someone
else
.
Reducing
it
all
to
sex
.
I
should
wither
up
and
die
inside
if
he
did
.
I
know
it
’
s
not
very
emancipated
of
me
.
This
is
what
I
feel
.
Sex
doesn
’
t
matter
.
Love
does
.
This
afternoon
I
wanted
to
ask
Caliban
to
post
a
letter
to
G
.
P
.
from
me
.
Quite
mad
.
Of
course
he
wouldn
’
t
.
He
’
d
be
jealous
.
But
I
so
need
to
be
walking
up
the
stairs
and
pushing
open
the
studio
door
,
and
seeing
him
at
his
bench
,
looking
over
his
shoulder
at
me
,
as
if
he
’
s
not
in
the
least
interested
to
see
who
it
is
.
Standing
there
,
with
his
faint
,
faint
smile
and
eyes
that
understand
things
so
quickly
.
This
is
useless
.
I
’
m
thinking
of
the
price
before
the
painting
.
