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- Джон Фоулз
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But
not
the
final
thing
.
I
’
m
going
to
tell
him
it
’
s
my
time
of
the
month
,
if
he
tries
to
go
too
far
.
But
I
think
he
’
ll
be
so
shocked
that
I
shall
be
able
to
make
him
do
what
I
want
.
I
mean
,
I
’
m
going
to
do
all
the
seducing
.
I
know
it
would
be
a
terrible
risk
with
ninety
-
nine
men
out
of
a
hundred
,
but
I
think
he
’
s
the
hundredth
.
He
’
ll
stop
when
I
tell
him
.
Even
if
it
came
to
the
point
.
He
didn
’
t
stop
.
I
’
d
take
the
risk
.
There
are
two
things
.
One
’
s
the
need
to
make
him
let
me
go
.
The
other
’
s
me
.
Something
I
wrote
on
Nov
.
7th
—
"
I
love
being
to
the
full
,
I
love
everything
which
is
not
sitting
and
watching
.
"
But
I
’
m
not
being
to
the
full
at
all
.
I
’
m
just
sitting
and
watching
.
Not
only
here
.
With
G
.
P
.
All
this
Vestal
Virgin
talk
about
"
saving
yourself
up
"
for
the
right
man
.
I
’
ve
always
despised
it
.
Yet
I
’
ve
always
held
back
.
I
’
m
mean
with
my
body
.
I
’
ve
got
to
get
this
meanness
out
of
the
way
.
I
’
ve
got
sunk
in
a
sort
of
despair
.
Something
will
happen
,
I
say
.
But
nothing
will
,
unless
I
make
it
.
I
must
act
.
Another
thing
I
wrote
(
one
writes
things
and
the
implications
shriek
—
it
’
s
like
suddenly
realizing
one
’
s
deaf
)
,
"
I
must
fight
with
my
weapons
.
Not
his
.
Not
selfishness
and
brutality
and
shame
and
resentment
.
"
Therefore
with
generosity
(
I
give
myself
)
and
gentleness
(
I
kiss
the
beast
)
and
no
-
shame
(
I
do
what
I
do
of
my
own
free
will
)
and
forgiveness
(
he
can
’
t
help
himself
)
.
