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- Джером Дэвид Сэлинджер
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"
C'mon
,
I
'll
take
ya
home
.
No
kidding
.
"
"
I
can
go
home
by
myself
,
thank
you
.
If
you
think
I
'd
let
you
take
me
home
,
you
're
mad
.
No
boy
ever
said
that
to
me
in
my
entire
life
.
"
The
whole
thing
was
sort
of
funny
,
in
a
way
,
if
you
thought
about
it
,
and
all
of
a
sudden
I
did
something
I
should
n't
have
.
I
laughed
.
And
I
have
one
of
these
very
loud
,
stupid
laughs
.
I
mean
if
I
ever
sat
behind
myself
in
a
movie
or
something
,
I
'd
probably
lean
over
and
tell
myself
to
please
shut
up
.
It
made
old
Sally
madder
than
ever
.
I
stuck
around
for
a
while
,
apologizing
and
trying
to
get
her
to
excuse
me
,
but
she
would
n't
.
She
kept
telling
me
to
go
away
and
leave
her
alone
.
So
finally
I
did
it
.
I
went
inside
and
got
my
shoes
and
stuff
,
and
left
without
her
.
I
should
n't
've
,
but
I
was
pretty
goddam
fed
up
by
that
time
.
If
you
want
to
know
the
truth
,
I
do
n't
even
know
why
I
started
all
that
stuff
with
her
.
I
mean
about
going
away
somewhere
,
to
Massachusetts
and
Vermont
and
all
.
I
probably
would
n't
've
taken
her
even
if
she
'd
wanted
to
go
with
me
.
She
would
n't
have
been
anybody
to
go
with
.
The
terrible
part
,
though
,
is
that
I
meant
it
when
I
asked
her
.
That
's
the
terrible
part
.
I
swear
to
God
I
'm
a
madman
.
When
I
left
the
skating
rink
I
felt
sort
of
hungry
,
so
I
went
in
this
drugstore
and
had
a
Swiss
cheese
sandwich
and
a
malted
,
and
then
I
went
in
a
phone
booth
.
I
thought
maybe
I
might
give
old
Jane
another
buzz
and
see
if
she
was
home
yet
.
I
mean
I
had
the
whole
evening
free
,
and
I
thought
I
'd
give
her
a
buzz
and
,
if
she
was
home
yet
,
take
her
dancing
or
something
somewhere
.
I
never
danced
with
her
or
anything
the
whole
time
I
knew
her
.
I
saw
her
dancing
once
,
though
.
She
looked
like
a
very
good
dancer
.
It
was
at
this
Fourth
of
July
dance
at
the
club
.
I
did
n't
know
her
too
well
then
,
and
I
did
n't
think
I
ought
to
cut
in
on
her
date
.
She
was
dating
this
terrible
guy
,
Al
Pike
,
that
went
to
Choate
.
I
did
n't
know
him
too
well
,
but
he
was
always
hanging
around
the
swimming
pool
.
He
wore
those
white
Lastex
kind
of
swimming
trunks
,
and
he
was
always
going
off
the
high
dive
.
He
did
the
same
lousy
old
half
gainer
all
day
long
.
It
was
the
only
dive
he
could
do
,
but
he
thought
he
was
very
hot
stuff
.
All
muscles
and
no
brains
.
Anyway
,
that
's
who
Jane
dated
that
night
.
I
could
n't
understand
it
.
I
swear
I
could
n't
.
After
we
started
going
around
together
,
I
asked
her
how
come
she
could
date
a
showoff
bastard
like
Al
Pike
.
Jane
said
he
was
n't
a
show-off
.
She
said
he
had
an
inferiority
complex
.
She
acted
like
she
felt
sorry
for
him
or
something
,
and
she
was
n't
just
putting
it
on
.
She
meant
it
.
It
's
a
funny
thing
about
girls
.
Every
time
you
mention
some
guy
that
's
strictly
a
bastard
--
very
mean
,
or
very
conceited
and
all
--
and
when
you
mention
it
to
the
girl
,
she
'll
tell
you
he
has
an
inferiority
complex
.
Maybe
he
has
,
but
that
still
does
n't
keep
him
from
being
a
bastard
,
in
my
opinion
.
Girls
.
You
never
know
what
they
're
going
to
think
.
I
once
got
this
girl
Roberta
Walsh
's
roommate
a
date
with
a
friend
of
mine
.
His
name
was
Bob
Robinson
and
he
really
had
an
inferiority
complex
.
You
could
tell
he
was
very
ashamed
of
his
parents
and
all
,
because
they
said
"
he
do
n't
"
and
"
she
do
n't
"
and
stuff
like
that
and
they
were
n't
very
wealthy
.
But
he
was
n't
a
bastard
or
anything
.
He
was
a
very
nice
guy
.
But
this
Roberta
Walsh
's
roommate
did
n't
like
him
at
all
.
She
told
Roberta
he
was
too
conceited
--
and
the
reason
she
thought
he
was
conceited
was
because
he
happened
to
mention
to
her
that
he
was
captain
of
the
debating
team
.
A
little
thing
like
that
,
and
she
thought
he
was
conceited
!
The
trouble
with
girls
is
,
if
they
like
a
boy
,
no
matter
how
big
a
bastard
he
is
,
they
'll
say
he
has
an
inferiority
complex
,
and
if
they
do
n't
like
him
,
no
matter
how
nice
a
guy
he
is
,
or
how
big
an
inferiority
complex
he
has
,
they
'll
say
he
's
conceited
.
Even
smart
girls
do
it
.
Anyway
,
I
gave
old
Jane
a
buzz
again
,
but
her
phone
did
n't
answer
,
so
I
had
to
hang
up
.
Then
I
had
to
look
through
my
address
book
to
see
who
the
hell
might
be
available
for
the
evening
.
The
trouble
was
,
though
,
my
address
book
only
has
about
three
people
in
it
.
Jane
,
and
this
man
,
Mr.
Antolini
,
that
was
my
teacher
at
Elkton
Hills
,
and
my
father
's
office
number
.
I
keep
forgetting
to
put
people
's
names
in
.
So
what
I
did
finally
,
I
gave
old
Carl
Luce
a
buzz
.
He
graduated
from
the
Whooton
School
after
I
left
.
He
was
about
three
years
older
than
I
was
,
and
I
did
n't
like
him
too
much
,
but
he
was
one
of
these
very
intellectual
guys
--
he
had
the
highest
I.
Q.
of
any
boy
at
Whooton
--
and
I
thought
he
might
want
to
have
dinner
with
me
somewhere
and
have
a
slightly
intellectual
conversation
.
He
was
very
enlightening
sometimes
.
So
I
gave
him
a
buzz
.
He
went
to
Columbia
now
,
but
he
lived
on
65th
Street
and
all
,
and
I
knew
he
'd
be
home
.
When
I
got
him
on
the
phone
,
he
said
he
could
n't
make
it
for
dinner
but
that
he
'd
meet
me
for
a
drink
at
ten
o'clock
at
the
Wicker
Bar
,
on
54th
.
I
think
he
was
pretty
surprised
to
hear
from
me
.
I
once
called
him
a
fat-assed
phony
.
I
had
quite
a
bit
of
time
to
kill
till
ten
o'clock
,
so
what
I
did
,
I
went
to
the
movies
at
Radio
City
.
It
was
probably
the
worst
thing
I
could
've
done
,
but
it
was
near
,
and
I
could
n't
think
of
anything
else
.
I
came
in
when
the
goddam
stage
show
was
on
.
The
Rockettes
were
kicking
their
heads
off
,
the
way
they
do
when
they
're
all
in
line
with
their
arms
around
each
other
's
waist
.
The
audience
applauded
like
mad
,
and
some
guy
behind
me
kept
saying
to
his
wife
,
"
You
know
what
that
is
?
That
's
precision
.
"
He
killed
me
.
Then
,
after
the
Rockettes
,
a
guy
came
out
in
a
tuxedo
and
roller
skates
on
,
and
started
skating
under
a
bunch
of
little
tables
,
and
telling
jokes
while
he
did
it
.
He
was
a
very
good
skater
and
all
,
but
I
could
n't
enjoy
it
much
because
I
kept
picturing
him
practicing
to
be
a
guy
that
roller-skates
on
the
stage
.
It
seemed
so
stupid
.
I
guess
I
just
was
n't
in
the
right
mood
.
Then
,
after
him
,
they
had
this
Christmas
thing
they
have
at
Radio
City
every
year
.
All
these
angels
start
coming
out
of
the
boxes
and
everywhere
,
guys
carrying
crucifixes
and
stuff
all
over
the
place
,
and
the
whole
bunch
of
them
--
thousands
of
them
--
singing
"
Come
All
Ye
Faithful
!
"
like
mad
.
Big
deal
.
It
's
supposed
to
be
religious
as
hell
,
I
know
,
and
very
pretty
and
all
,
but
I
ca
n't
see
anything
religious
or
pretty
,
for
God
's
sake
,
about
a
bunch
of
actors
carrying
crucifixes
all
over
the
stage
.
When
they
were
all
finished
and
started
going
out
the
boxes
again
,
you
could
tell
they
could
hardly
wait
to
get
a
cigarette
or
something
.
I
saw
it
with
old
Sally
Hayes
the
year
before
,
and
she
kept
saying
how
beautiful
it
was
,
the
costumes
and
all
.
I
said
old
Jesus
probably
would
've
puked
if
He
could
see
it
--
all
those
fancy
costumes
and
all
.
Sally
said
I
was
a
sacrilegious
atheist
.
I
probably
am
.
The
thing
Jesus
really
would
've
liked
would
be
the
guy
that
plays
the
kettle
drums
in
the
orchestra
.
