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- Джером Дэвид Сэлинджер
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I
've
watched
that
guy
since
I
was
about
eight
years
old
.
My
brother
Allie
and
I
,
if
we
were
with
our
parents
and
all
,
we
used
to
move
our
seats
and
go
way
down
so
we
could
watch
him
.
He
's
the
best
drummer
I
ever
saw
.
He
only
gets
a
chance
to
bang
them
a
couple
of
times
during
a
whole
piece
,
but
he
never
looks
bored
when
he
is
n't
doing
it
.
Then
when
he
does
bang
them
,
he
does
it
so
nice
and
sweet
,
with
this
nervous
expression
on
his
face
.
One
time
when
we
went
to
Washington
with
my
father
,
Allie
sent
him
a
postcard
,
but
I
'll
bet
he
never
got
it
.
We
were
n't
too
sure
how
to
address
it
.
After
the
Christmas
thing
was
over
,
the
goddam
picture
started
.
It
was
so
putrid
I
could
n't
take
my
eyes
off
it
.
It
was
about
this
English
guy
,
Alec
something
,
that
was
in
the
war
and
loses
his
memory
in
the
hospital
and
all
.
He
comes
out
of
the
hospital
carrying
a
cane
and
limping
all
over
the
place
,
all
over
London
,
not
knowing
who
the
hell
he
is
.
He
's
really
a
duke
,
but
he
does
n't
know
it
.
Then
he
meets
this
nice
,
homey
,
sincere
girl
getting
on
a
bus
.
Her
goddam
hat
blows
off
and
he
catches
it
,
and
then
they
go
upstairs
and
sit
down
and
start
talking
about
Charles
Dickens
.
He
's
both
their
favorite
author
and
all
.
He
's
carrying
this
copy
of
Oliver
Twist
and
so
's
she
.
I
could
've
puked
.
Anyway
,
they
fell
in
love
right
away
,
on
account
of
they
're
both
so
nuts
about
Charles
Dickens
and
all
,
and
he
helps
her
run
her
publishing
business
.
She
's
a
publisher
,
the
girl
.
Only
,
she
's
not
doing
so
hot
,
because
her
brother
's
a
drunkard
and
he
spends
all
their
dough
.
He
's
a
very
bitter
guy
,
the
brother
,
because
he
was
a
doctor
in
the
war
and
now
he
ca
n't
operate
any
more
because
his
nerves
are
shot
,
so
he
boozes
all
the
time
,
but
he
's
pretty
witty
and
all
.
Anyway
,
old
Alec
writes
a
book
,
and
this
girl
publishes
it
,
and
they
both
make
a
hatful
of
dough
on
it
.
They
're
all
set
to
get
married
when
this
other
girl
,
old
Marcia
,
shows
up
.
Marcia
was
Alec
's
fiancée
before
he
lost
his
memory
,
and
she
recognizes
him
when
he
's
in
this
store
autographing
books
.
She
tells
old
Alec
he
's
really
a
duke
and
all
,
but
he
does
n't
believe
her
and
does
n't
want
to
go
with
her
to
visit
his
mother
and
all
.
His
mother
's
blind
as
a
bat
.
But
the
other
girl
,
the
homey
one
,
makes
him
go
.
She
's
very
noble
and
all
.
So
he
goes
.
But
he
still
does
n't
get
his
memory
back
,
even
when
his
great
Dane
jumps
all
over
him
and
his
mother
sticks
her
fingers
all
over
his
face
and
brings
him
this
teddy
bear
he
used
to
slobber
around
with
when
he
was
a
kid
.
But
then
,
one
day
,
some
kids
are
playing
cricket
on
the
lawn
and
he
gets
smacked
in
the
head
with
a
cricket
ball
.
Then
right
away
he
gets
his
goddam
memory
back
and
he
goes
in
and
kisses
his
mother
on
the
forehead
and
all
.
Then
he
starts
being
a
regular
duke
again
,
and
he
forgets
all
about
the
homey
babe
that
has
the
publishing
business
.
I
'd
tell
you
the
rest
of
the
story
,
but
I
might
puke
if
I
did
.
It
is
n't
that
I
'd
spoil
it
for
you
or
anything
.
There
is
n't
anything
to
spoil
for
Chrissake
.
Anyway
,
it
ends
up
with
Alec
and
the
homey
babe
getting
married
,
and
the
brother
that
's
a
drunkard
gets
his
nerves
back
and
operates
on
Alec
's
mother
so
she
can
see
again
,
and
then
the
drunken
brother
and
old
Marcia
go
for
each
other
.
It
ends
up
with
everybody
at
this
long
dinner
table
laughing
their
asses
off
because
the
great
Dane
comes
in
with
a
bunch
of
puppies
.
Everybody
thought
it
was
a
male
,
I
suppose
,
or
some
goddam
thing
.
All
I
can
say
is
,
do
n't
see
it
if
you
do
n't
want
to
puke
all
over
yourself
.
The
part
that
got
me
was
,
there
was
a
lady
sitting
next
to
me
that
cried
all
through
the
goddam
picture
.
The
phonier
it
got
,
the
more
she
cried
.
You
'd
have
thought
she
did
it
because
she
was
kindhearted
as
hell
,
but
I
was
sitting
right
next
to
her
,
and
she
was
n't
.
She
had
this
little
kid
with
her
that
was
bored
as
hell
and
had
to
go
to
the
bathroom
,
but
she
would
n't
take
him
.
She
kept
telling
him
to
sit
still
and
behave
himself
.
She
was
about
as
kindhearted
as
a
goddam
wolf
.
You
take
somebody
that
cries
their
goddam
eyes
out
over
phony
stuff
in
the
movies
,
and
nine
times
out
of
ten
they
're
mean
bastards
at
heart
.
I
'm
not
kidding
.
After
the
movie
was
over
,
I
started
walking
down
to
the
Wicker
Bar
,
where
I
was
supposed
to
meet
old
Carl
Luce
,
and
while
I
walked
I
sort
of
thought
about
war
and
all
.
Those
war
movies
always
do
that
to
me
.
I
do
n't
think
I
could
stand
it
if
I
had
to
go
to
war
.
I
really
could
n't
.
It
would
n't
be
too
bad
if
they
'd
just
take
you
out
and
shoot
you
or
something
,
but
you
have
to
stay
in
the
Army
so
goddam
long
.
That
's
the
whole
trouble
.
My
brother
D.
B.
was
in
the
Army
for
four
goddam
years
.
He
was
in
the
war
,
too
--
he
landed
on
D-Day
and
all
--
but
I
really
think
he
hated
the
Army
worse
than
the
war
.
I
was
practically
a
child
at
the
time
,
but
I
remember
when
he
used
to
come
home
on
furlough
and
all
,
all
he
did
was
lie
on
his
bed
,
practically
.
He
hardly
ever
even
came
in
the
living
room
.
Later
,
when
he
went
overseas
and
was
in
the
war
and
all
,
he
did
n't
get
wounded
or
anything
and
he
did
n't
have
to
shoot
anybody
.
All
he
had
to
do
was
drive
some
cowboy
general
around
all
day
in
a
command
car
.
He
once
told
Allie
and
I
that
if
he
'd
had
to
shoot
anybody
,
he
would
n't
've
known
which
direction
to
shoot
in
.
He
said
the
Army
was
practically
as
full
of
bastards
as
the
Nazis
were
.
I
remember
Allie
once
asked
him
was
n't
it
sort
of
good
that
he
was
in
the
war
because
he
was
a
writer
and
it
gave
him
a
lot
to
write
about
and
all
.
He
made
Allie
go
get
his
baseball
mitt
and
then
he
asked
him
who
was
the
best
war
poet
,
Rupert
Brooke
or
Emily
Dickinson
.
Allie
said
Emily
Dickinson
.
I
do
n't
know
too
much
about
it
myself
,
because
I
do
n't
read
much
poetry
,
but
I
do
know
it
'd
drive
me
crazy
if
I
had
to
be
in
the
Army
and
be
with
a
bunch
of
guys
like
Ackley
and
Stradlater
and
old
Maurice
all
the
time
,
marching
with
them
and
all
.
I
was
in
the
Boy
Scouts
once
,
for
about
a
week
,
and
I
could
n't
even
stand
looking
at
the
back
of
the
guy
's
neck
in
front
of
me
.
They
kept
telling
you
to
look
at
the
back
of
the
guy
's
neck
in
front
of
you
.
I
swear
if
there
's
ever
another
war
,
they
better
just
take
me
out
and
stick
me
in
front
of
a
firing
squad
.
I
would
n't
object
.
What
gets
me
about
D.
B.
,
though
,
he
hated
the
war
so
much
,
and
yet
he
got
me
to
read
this
book
A
Farewell
to
Arms
last
summer
.
He
said
it
was
so
terrific
.
That
's
what
I
ca
n't
understand
.
It
had
this
guy
in
it
named
Lieutenant
Henry
that
was
supposed
to
be
a
nice
guy
and
all
.
I
do
n't
see
how
D.
B.
could
hate
the
Army
and
war
and
all
so
much
and
still
like
a
phony
like
that
.
I
mean
,
for
instance
,
I
do
n't
see
how
he
could
like
a
phony
book
like
that
and
still
like
that
one
by
Ring
Lardner
,
or
that
other
one
he
's
so
crazy
about
,
The
Great
Gatsby
.
D.
B.
got
sore
when
I
said
that
,
and
said
I
was
too
young
and
all
to
appreciate
it
,
but
I
do
n't
think
so
.
I
told
him
I
liked
Ring
Lardner
and
The
Great
Gatsby
and
all
.
I
did
,
too
.
I
was
crazy
about
The
Great
Gatsby
.
Old
Gatsby
.
Old
sport
.
That
killed
me
.
Anyway
,
I
'm
sort
of
glad
they
've
got
the
atomic
bomb
invented
.
If
there
's
ever
another
war
,
I
'm
going
to
sit
right
the
hell
on
top
of
it
.
I
'll
volunteer
for
it
,
I
swear
to
God
I
will
.
In
case
you
do
n't
live
in
New
York
,
the
Wicker
Bar
is
in
this
sort
of
swanky
hotel
,
the
Seton
Hotel
.
I
used
to
go
there
quite
a
lot
,
but
I
do
n't
any
more
.
I
gradually
cut
it
out
.
It
's
one
of
those
places
that
are
supposed
to
be
very
sophisticated
and
all
,
and
the
phonies
are
coming
in
the
window
.
They
used
to
have
these
two
French
babes
,
Tina
and
Janine
,
come
out
and
play
the
piano
and
sing
about
three
times
every
night
.
One
of
them
played
the
piano
--
strictly
lousy
--
and
the
other
one
sang
,
and
most
of
the
songs
were
either
pretty
dirty
or
in
French
.
The
one
that
sang
,
old
Janine
,
was
always
whispering
into
the
goddam
microphone
before
she
sang
.
She
'd
say
,
"
And
now
we
like
to
geeve
you
our
impression
of
Vooly
Voo
Fransay
.
Eet
ees
the
story
of
a
leetle
Fransh
girl
who
comes
to
a
beeg
ceety
,
just
like
New
York
,
and
falls
een
love
wees
a
leetle
boy
from
Brookleen
.
We
hope
you
like
eet
.
"
Then
,
when
she
was
all
done
whispering
and
being
cute
as
hell
,
she
'd
sing
some
dopey
song
,
half
in
English
and
half
in
French
,
and
drive
all
the
phonies
in
the
place
mad
with
joy
.
If
you
sat
around
there
long
enough
and
heard
all
the
phonies
applauding
and
all
,
you
got
to
hate
everybody
in
the
world
,
I
swear
you
did
.
The
bartender
was
a
louse
,
too
.
He
was
a
big
snob
.
He
did
n't
talk
to
you
at
all
hardly
unless
you
were
a
big
shot
or
a
celebrity
or
something
.
If
you
were
a
big
shot
or
a
celebrity
or
something
,
then
he
was
even
more
nauseating
.
He
'd
go
up
to
you
and
say
,
with
this
big
charming
smile
,
like
he
was
a
helluva
swell
guy
if
you
knew
him
,
"
Well
!
How
's
Connecticut
?
"
or
"
How
's
Florida
?
"
It
was
a
terrible
place
,
I
'm
not
kidding
.
I
cut
out
going
there
entirely
,
gradually
.
It
was
pretty
early
when
I
got
there
.
I
sat
down
at
the
bar
--
it
was
pretty
crowded
--
and
had
a
couple
of
Scotch
and
sodas
before
old
Luce
even
showed
up
.
I
stood
up
when
I
ordered
them
so
they
could
see
how
tall
I
was
and
all
and
not
think
I
was
a
goddam
minor
.
Then
I
watched
the
phonies
for
a
while
.
Some
guy
next
to
me
was
snowing
hell
out
of
the
babe
he
was
with
.
He
kept
telling
her
she
had
aristocratic
hands
.
That
killed
me
.
The
other
end
of
the
bar
was
full
of
flits
.
They
were
n't
too
flitty-looking
--
I
mean
they
did
n't
have
their
hair
too
long
or
anything
--
but
you
could
tell
they
were
flits
anyway
.
Finally
old
Luce
showed
up
.
