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- Даниэл Киз
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- Цветы для Элджернона
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I
felt
sick
inside
as
I
looked
at
his
dull
,
vacuous
smile
—
the
wide
,
bright
eyes
of
a
child
,
uncertain
but
eager
to
please
,
and
I
realized
what
I
had
recognized
in
him
.
They
were
laughing
at
him
because
he
was
retarded
.
And
at
first
I
had
been
amused
along
with
the
rest
.
Suddenly
,
I
was
furious
at
myself
and
all
those
who
were
smirking
at
him
.
I
wanted
to
pick
up
the
dishes
and
throw
them
.
I
wanted
to
smash
their
laughing
faces
.
I
jumped
up
and
shouted
:
"
Shut
up
!
Leave
him
alone
!
He
can
’
t
understand
.
He
can
’
t
help
what
he
is
.
.
.
but
for
God
’
s
sake
,
have
some
respect
!
He
’
s
a
human
being
!
"
The
restaurant
grew
silent
.
I
cursed
myself
for
losing
control
and
creating
a
scene
,
and
I
tried
not
to
look
at
the
boy
as
I
paid
my
check
and
walked
out
without
touching
my
food
.
I
felt
ashamed
for
both
of
us
.
How
strange
it
is
that
people
of
honest
feelings
and
sensibility
,
who
would
not
take
advantage
of
a
man
born
without
arms
or
legs
or
eyes
—
how
such
people
think
nothing
of
abusing
a
man
born
with
low
intelligence
.
It
in
furiated
me
to
remember
that
not
too
long
ago
I
—
like
this
boy
—
had
foolishly
played
the
clown
.
And
I
had
almost
forgotten
.
Only
a
short
time
ago
,
I
learned
that
people
laughed
at
me
.
Now
I
can
see
that
unknowingly
I
joined
them
in
laughing
at
myself
.
That
hurts
most
of
all
.
I
have
often
reread
my
early
progress
reports
and
seen
the
illiteracy
,
the
childish
naivete
,
the
mind
of
low
intelli
gence
peering
from
a
dark
room
,
through
the
keyhole
,
at
the
dazzling
light
outside
.
In
my
dreams
and
memories
I
’
ve
seen
Charlie
smiling
happily
and
uncertainly
at
what
people
around
him
were
saying
.
Even
in
my
dullness
I
knew
I
was
inferior
.
Other
people
had
something
I
lacked
—
something
denied
me
.
In
my
mental
blindness
,
I
had
be
lieved
it
was
somehow
connected
with
the
ability
to
read
and
write
,
and
I
was
sure
that
if
I
could
get
those
skills
I
would
have
intelligence
too
.
Even
a
feeble
-
minded
man
wants
to
be
like
other
men
.
A
child
may
not
know
how
to
feed
itself
,
or
what
to
eat
,
yet
it
knows
hunger
.
