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Not
just
being
close
because
I
don
t
feel
it
in
a
crowded
elevator
or
on
the
subway
during
the
rush
but
on
a
hot
night
when
everyone
is
out
walking
,
or
sitting
in
the
theater
,
there
is
a
rustling
,
and
for
a
moment
I
brush
against
someone
and
sense
the
connection
between
the
branch
and
trunk
and
the
deep
root
.
At
such
moments
my
flesh
is
thin
and
tight
,
and
the
unbearable
hunger
to
be
part
of
it
drives
me
out
to
search
in
the
dark
corners
and
blind
alleys
of
the
night
.
Usually
,
when
I
m
exhausted
from
walking
,
I
go
back
to
the
apartment
and
drop
off
into
a
deep
sleep
,
but
tonight
instead
of
going
up
to
my
own
place
I
went
to
the
diner
.
There
was
a
new
dishwasher
,
a
boy
of
about
sixteen
,
and
there
was
something
familiar
about
him
,
his
move
­
ments
,
the
look
in
his
eyes
.
And
then
,
clearing
away
the
table
behind
me
,
he
dropped
some
dishes
.
They
crashed
to
the
floor
,
shattering
and
sending
bits
of
white
china
under
the
tables
.
He
stood
there
,
dazed
and
frightened
,
holding
the
empty
tray
in
his
hand
.
The
whistles
and
catcalls
from
the
customers
(
cries
of
"
hey
,
there
go
the
profits
!
"
.
.
.
"
Mazel
tov
!
"
.
.
and
"
well
,
he
didn
t
work
here
very
long
.
.
.
"
which
invariably
seems
to
follow
the
breaking
of
dishware
in
a
public
restaurant
)
confused
him
.
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When
the
owner
came
to
see
what
the
excitement
was
about
,
the
boy
cowered
threw
up
his
arms
as
if
to
ward
off
a
blow
.
"
All
right
!
All
right
,
you
dope
,
"
shouted
the
man
,
"
don
t
just
stand
there
!
Get
the
broom
and
sweep
up
that
mess
.
A
broom
.
.
.
a
broom
!
you
idiot
!
It
s
in
the
kitchen
.
Sweep
up
all
the
pieces
.
"
"
When
the
boy
saw
that
he
was
not
going
to
be
pun
­
ished
,
his
frightened
expression
disappeared
,
and
he
smiled
and
hummed
as
he
came
back
with
the
broom
.
A
few
of
the
rowdier
customers
kept
up
the
remarks
,
amusing
themselves
at
his
expense
.
"
Here
,
sonny
,
over
here
.
There
s
a
nice
piece
behind
you
.
.
"
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"
C
mon
,
do
it
again
.
.
.
"
"
He
s
not
so
dumb
.
It
s
easier
to
break
em
than
to
wash
em
.
.
.
"
As
the
boy
s
vacant
eyes
moved
across
the
crowd
of
amused
onlookers
,
he
slowly
mirrored
their
smiles
and
fi
­
nally
broke
into
an
uncertain
grin
at
the
joke
which
he
did
not
understand
.