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"
Not
by
me
,
it
is
n't
,
"
she
said
.
"
I
remember
it
well
,
Louis
.
I
remember
it
as
well
as
I
remember
my
sister
Zelda
choking
to
death
in
her
bed
on
April
14
,
1965
.
"
For
a
long
moment
there
was
silence
in
the
room
.
"
I
turned
her
over
on
her
belly
and
thumped
her
back
,
"
Rachel
went
on
at
last
.
"
It
's
all
I
knew
to
do
.
Her
feet
were
beating
up
and
down
...
and
her
twisted
legs
...
and
I
remember
there
was
a
sound
like
farting
...
I
thought
she
was
farting
or
I
was
,
but
it
was
n't
farts
,
it
was
the
seams
under
both
arms
of
my
blouse
ripping
out
when
I
turned
her
over
.
She
started
to
...
to
convulse
...
and
I
saw
that
her
face
was
turned
sideways
,
turned
into
the
pillows
,
and
I
thought
,
oh
,
she
's
choking
,
Zelda
's
choking
,
and
they
'll
come
home
and
say
I
murdered
her
by
choking
,
they
'll
say
you
hated
her
,
Rachel
,
and
that
was
true
,
and
they
'll
say
you
wanted
her
to
be
dead
,
and
that
was
true
too
.
Because
Louis
,
see
,
the
first
thought
that
went
through
my
mind
when
she
started
to
go
up
and
down
in
the
bed
like
that
,
I
remember
it
,
my
first
thought
was
Oh
good
,
finally
,
Zelda
's
choking
and
this
is
going
to
be
over
.
So
I
turned
her
over
again
and
her
face
had
gone
black
,
Louis
,
and
her
eyes
were
bulging
and
her
neck
was
swelled
up
.
Then
she
died
.
I
backed
across
the
room
.
I
guess
I
wanted
to
back
out
the
door
,
but
I
hit
the
wall
and
a
picture
fell
down
--
it
was
a
picture
from
one
of
the
Oz
books
that
Zelda
liked
before
she
got
sick
with
the
meningitis
,
when
she
was
well
,
it
was
a
picture
of
Oz
the
Great
and
Terrible
,
only
Zelda
always
called
him
Oz
the
Gweat
and
Tewwible
because
she
could
n't
make
that
sound
,
and
so
she
sounded
like
Elmer
Fudd
.
My
mother
got
that
picture
framed
because
...
because
Zelda
liked
it
most
of
all
...
Oz
the
Gweat
and
Tewwible
...
and
it
fell
down
and
hit
the
floor
and
the
glass
in
the
frame
shattered
and
I
started
to
scream
because
I
knew
she
was
dead
and
I
thought
...
I
guess
I
thought
it
was
her
ghost
,
coming
back
to
get
me
,
and
I
knew
that
her
ghost
would
hate
me
like
she
did
,
but
her
ghost
would
n't
be
stuck
in
bed
,
so
I
screamed
...
I
screamed
and
I
ran
out
of
he
house
screaming
"
Zelda
's
dead
!
Zelda
's
dead
!
Zelda
's
dead
!
"
And
the
neighbors
...
they
came
and
they
looked
...
they
saw
me
running
down
the
street
with
my
blouse
all
ripped
out
under
the
arms
...
I
was
yelling
"
Zelda
's
dead
!
"
Louis
,
and
I
guess
maybe
they
thought
I
was
crying
but
I
think
...
I
think
maybe
I
was
laughing
,
Louis
.
I
think
maybe
that
's
what
I
was
doing
.
"
"
If
you
were
,
I
salute
you
for
it
,
"
Louis
said
.
"
You
do
n't
mean
that
,
though
,
"
Rachel
said
with
the
utter
surety
of
one
who
has
been
over
a
point
and
over
it
and
over
it
.
He
let
it
go
.
He
thought
she
might
eventually
get
rid
of
this
awful
,
rancid
memory
that
had
haunted
her
for
so
long
--
most
of
it
,
anyway
--
but
never
this
part
.
Never
completely
.
Louis
Creed
was
no
psychiatrist
,
but
he
knew
that
there
are
rusty
,
half-buried
things
in
the
terrain
of
any
life
and
that
human
beings
seem
compelled
to
go
back
to
these
things
and
pull
at
them
,
even
though
they
cut
.
Tonight
Rachel
had
pulled
almost
all
of
it
out
,
like
some
grotesque
and
stinking
rotten
tooth
,
its
crown
black
,
its
nerves
infected
,
its
roots
fetid
.
It
was
out
.
Let
that
last
noxious
cell
remain
;
if
God
was
good
it
would
remain
dormant
except
in
her
deepest
dreams
.
That
she
had
been
able
to
remove
as
much
as
she
had
was
well
nigh
incredible
--
it
did
not
just
speak
of
her
courage
;
it
clarioned
it
.
Louis
was
in
awe
of
her
.
He
felt
like
cheering
.
He
sat
up
now
and
turned
on
the
light
.
"
Yes
,
"
he
said
,
"
I
salute
you
for
it
.
And
if
I
needed
another
reason
to
.
.
.
to
really
dislike
your
mother
and
father
,
I
've
got
it
now
.
You
never
should
have
been
left
alone
with
her
,
Rachel
.
Never
.
"
Like
a
child
--
the
child
of
eight
she
had
been
when
this
dirty
,
incredible
thing
had
happened
--
she
reprimanded
him
,
"
Lou
,
it
was
Passover
season
--
"
