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But
victim
that
he
was
of
a
distorted
pride
,
he
pretended
even
in
the
sweetest
moments
to
play
the
role
of
a
man
accustomed
to
the
subjugation
of
women
:
he
made
incredible
but
deliberate
efforts
to
spoil
his
natural
charm
.
Instead
of
watching
the
transports
which
he
was
bringing
into
existence
,
and
those
pangs
of
remorse
which
only
set
their
keenness
into
fuller
relief
,
the
idea
of
duty
was
continually
before
his
eyes
.
He
feared
a
frightful
remorse
,
and
eternal
ridicule
,
if
he
departed
from
the
ideal
model
he
proposed
to
follow
.
In
a
word
,
the
very
quality
which
made
Julien
into
a
superior
being
was
precisely
that
which
prevented
him
from
savouring
the
happiness
which
was
placed
within
his
grasp
.
It
’
s
like
the
case
of
a
young
girl
of
sixteen
with
a
charming
complexion
who
is
mad
enough
to
put
on
rouge
before
going
to
a
ball
.
Mortally
terrified
by
the
apparition
of
Julien
,
Madame
de
Rênal
was
soon
a
prey
to
the
most
cruel
alarm
.
The
prayers
and
despair
of
Julien
troubled
her
keenly
.
Even
when
there
was
nothing
left
for
her
to
refuse
him
she
pushed
Julien
away
from
her
with
a
genuine
indignation
,
and
straightway
threw
herself
into
his
arms
.
There
was
no
plan
apparent
in
all
this
conduct
She
thought
herself
eternally
damned
,
and
tried
to
hide
from
herself
the
sight
of
hell
by
loading
Julien
with
the
wildest
caresses
.
In
a
word
,
nothing
would
have
been
lacking
in
our
hero
’
s
happiness
,
not
even
an
ardent
sensibility
in
the
woman
whom
he
had
just
captured
,
if
he
had
only
known
how
to
enjoy
it
.
Julien
’
s
departure
did
not
in
any
way
bring
to
an
end
those
ecstacies
which
thrilled
her
in
spite
of
herself
,
and
those
troubles
of
remorse
which
lacerated
her
.
"
My
God
!
being
happy
—
being
loved
,
is
that
all
it
comes
to
?
"
This
was
Julien
’
s
first
thought
as
he
entered
his
room
.
He
was
a
prey
to
the
astonishment
and
nervous
anxiety
of
the
man
who
has
just
obtained
what
he
has
long
desired
.
He
has
been
accustomed
to
desire
,
and
has
no
longer
anything
to
desire
,
and
nevertheless
has
no
memories
.
Like
a
soldier
coming
back
from
parade
.
Julien
was
absorbed
in
rehearsing
the
details
of
his
conduct
.
"
Have
I
failed
in
nothing
which
I
owe
to
myself
?
Have
I
played
my
part
well
?
"
And
what
a
part
!
the
part
of
a
man
accustomed
to
be
brilliant
with
women
.
He
turned
his
lips
to
hers
and
with
his
hand
Called
back
the
tangles
of
her
wandering
hair
.
Don
Juan
,
c
.
I
,
st
.
170
.
Happily
for
Julien
’
s
fame
,
Madame
de
Rênal
had
been
too
agitated
and
too
astonished
to
appreciate
the
stupidity
of
the
man
who
had
in
a
single
moment
become
the
whole
to
world
her
.
