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- Стр. 447/632
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But
now
she
found
that
these
unattractive
males
did
not
set
her
teeth
on
edge
.
When
she
felt
their
admiring
stares
or
even
their
outright
lust
–
and
she
found
that
she
did
feel
it
,
could
even
identify
the
source
–
she
did
not
resent
it
;
it
warmed
her
and
made
her
feel
smugly
pleased
.
"
Exhibitionism
"
had
been
to
her
simply
a
word
used
in
abnormal
psychology
–
a
neurotic
weakness
she
had
held
in
contempt
.
Now
,
in
digging
out
her
own
and
looking
at
it
,
she
decided
that
either
this
form
of
narcissism
was
normal
,
or
she
was
abnormal
and
had
not
known
it
.
But
she
didn
’
t
feel
abnormal
;
she
felt
healthy
and
happy
–
healthier
than
she
had
ever
been
.
She
had
been
always
of
better
than
average
health
-
nurses
need
to
be
–
but
she
hadn
’
t
had
a
sniffle
nor
even
an
upset
stomach
in
she
couldn
’
t
remember
when
?
why
,
she
thought
wonderingly
,
not
even
cramps
.
Okay
,
she
was
healthy
–
and
if
a
healthy
woman
liked
to
be
looked
at
–
and
not
as
a
side
of
beef
!
–
then
it
follows
as
the
night
from
day
that
healthy
men
should
like
to
look
at
them
,
else
there
was
just
no
darn
sense
to
it
!
At
which
point
she
finally
understood
,
intellectually
,
Duke
and
his
pictures
?
and
begged
his
pardon
in
her
mind
.
She
discussed
it
with
Mike
,
tried
to
explain
her
changed
viewpoint
–
not
easy
,
since
Mike
could
not
understand
why
Jill
had
ever
minded
being
looked
at
,
at
any
time
,
by
anyone
.
Not
wishing
to
be
touched
he
understood
;
Mike
avoided
shaking
hands
if
he
could
do
so
without
offense
,
he
wanted
to
touch
and
be
touched
only
by
water
brothers
(
Jill
wasn
’
t
sure
just
how
far
this
included
male
water
brothers
in
Mike
’
s
mind
;
she
had
explained
homosexuality
to
him
,
after
he
had
read
about
it
and
failed
to
grok
it
–
and
had
given
him
practical
rules
for
avoiding
even
the
appearance
thereof
and
how
to
keep
such
passes
from
being
made
at
him
,
since
she
assumed
correctly
that
Mike
,
pretty
as
he
was
,
would
attract
such
passes
.
He
had
followed
her
advice
and
had
set
about
making
his
face
more
masculine
,
instead
of
the
androgynous
beauty
he
had
first
had
.
Nevertheless
Jill
was
not
sure
that
Mike
would
refuse
such
an
invitation
from
,
say
,
Duke
–
but
fortunately
Mike
’
s
male
water
brothers
were
all
decidedly
masculine
men
,
just
as
his
others
were
very
female
women
.
Jill
hoped
that
it
would
stay
that
way
;
she
suspected
that
Mike
would
grok
a
"
wrongness
"
in
the
poor
in
-
betweeners
anyhow
–
they
would
never
be
offered
water
.
)
Nor
could
Mike
understand
why
it
now
pleased
her
to
be
stared
at
.
The
only
time
when
their
two
attitudes
had
been
even
roughly
similar
had
been
as
they
left
the
carnival
,
when
Jill
had
discovered
that
she
had
become
indifferent
to
stares
–
willing
to
do
their
act
"
stark
naked
,
"
as
she
had
told
Patty
,
if
it
would
help
.
Jill
saw
that
her
present
self
-
knowledge
had
been
nascent
at
that
point
;
she
had
never
been
truly
indifferent
to
masculine
stares
.
Under
the
unique
necessities
of
adjusting
to
life
with
the
Man
from
Mars
she
had
been
forced
to
shuck
off
part
of
her
artificial
,
training
-
imposed
persona
,
that
degree
of
lady
-
like
prissiness
a
nurse
can
retain
despite
the
rigors
of
an
unusually
no
-
nonsense
profession
.
But
Jill
hadn
’
t
known
that
she
had
any
prissiness
to
lose
until
she
lost
it
.
Of
course
,
Jill
was
even
more
of
a
"
lady
"
than
ever
–
but
she
preferred
to
think
of
herself
as
a
"
gent
.
"
But
she
was
no
longer
able
to
conceal
from
her
conscious
mind
(
nor
had
any
wish
to
)
that
there
was
something
inside
her
as
happily
shameless
as
a
tabby
in
heat
going
into
her
belly
dance
for
the
enticement
of
the
neighborhood
toms
.