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But
now
she
found
that
these
unattractive
males
did
not
set
her
teeth
on
edge
.
When
she
felt
their
admiring
stares
or
even
their
outright
lust
and
she
found
that
she
did
feel
it
,
could
even
identify
the
source
she
did
not
resent
it
;
it
warmed
her
and
made
her
feel
smugly
pleased
.
"
Exhibitionism
"
had
been
to
her
simply
a
word
used
in
abnormal
psychology
a
neurotic
weakness
she
had
held
in
contempt
.
Now
,
in
digging
out
her
own
and
looking
at
it
,
she
decided
that
either
this
form
of
narcissism
was
normal
,
or
she
was
abnormal
and
had
not
known
it
.
But
she
didn
t
feel
abnormal
;
she
felt
healthy
and
happy
healthier
than
she
had
ever
been
.
She
had
been
always
of
better
than
average
health
-
nurses
need
to
be
but
she
hadn
t
had
a
sniffle
nor
even
an
upset
stomach
in
she
couldn
t
remember
when
?
why
,
she
thought
wonderingly
,
not
even
cramps
.
Отключить рекламу
Okay
,
she
was
healthy
and
if
a
healthy
woman
liked
to
be
looked
at
and
not
as
a
side
of
beef
!
then
it
follows
as
the
night
from
day
that
healthy
men
should
like
to
look
at
them
,
else
there
was
just
no
darn
sense
to
it
!
At
which
point
she
finally
understood
,
intellectually
,
Duke
and
his
pictures
?
and
begged
his
pardon
in
her
mind
.
She
discussed
it
with
Mike
,
tried
to
explain
her
changed
viewpoint
not
easy
,
since
Mike
could
not
understand
why
Jill
had
ever
minded
being
looked
at
,
at
any
time
,
by
anyone
.
Not
wishing
to
be
touched
he
understood
;
Mike
avoided
shaking
hands
if
he
could
do
so
without
offense
,
he
wanted
to
touch
and
be
touched
only
by
water
brothers
(
Jill
wasn
t
sure
just
how
far
this
included
male
water
brothers
in
Mike
s
mind
;
she
had
explained
homosexuality
to
him
,
after
he
had
read
about
it
and
failed
to
grok
it
and
had
given
him
practical
rules
for
avoiding
even
the
appearance
thereof
and
how
to
keep
such
passes
from
being
made
at
him
,
since
she
assumed
correctly
that
Mike
,
pretty
as
he
was
,
would
attract
such
passes
.
He
had
followed
her
advice
and
had
set
about
making
his
face
more
masculine
,
instead
of
the
androgynous
beauty
he
had
first
had
.
Nevertheless
Jill
was
not
sure
that
Mike
would
refuse
such
an
invitation
from
,
say
,
Duke
but
fortunately
Mike
s
male
water
brothers
were
all
decidedly
masculine
men
,
just
as
his
others
were
very
female
women
.
Jill
hoped
that
it
would
stay
that
way
;
she
suspected
that
Mike
would
grok
a
"
wrongness
"
in
the
poor
in
-
betweeners
anyhow
they
would
never
be
offered
water
.
)
Nor
could
Mike
understand
why
it
now
pleased
her
to
be
stared
at
.
The
only
time
when
their
two
attitudes
had
been
even
roughly
similar
had
been
as
they
left
the
carnival
,
when
Jill
had
discovered
that
she
had
become
indifferent
to
stares
willing
to
do
their
act
"
stark
naked
,
"
as
she
had
told
Patty
,
if
it
would
help
.
Отключить рекламу
Jill
saw
that
her
present
self
-
knowledge
had
been
nascent
at
that
point
;
she
had
never
been
truly
indifferent
to
masculine
stares
.
Under
the
unique
necessities
of
adjusting
to
life
with
the
Man
from
Mars
she
had
been
forced
to
shuck
off
part
of
her
artificial
,
training
-
imposed
persona
,
that
degree
of
lady
-
like
prissiness
a
nurse
can
retain
despite
the
rigors
of
an
unusually
no
-
nonsense
profession
.
But
Jill
hadn
t
known
that
she
had
any
prissiness
to
lose
until
she
lost
it
.
Of
course
,
Jill
was
even
more
of
a
"
lady
"
than
ever
but
she
preferred
to
think
of
herself
as
a
"
gent
.
"
But
she
was
no
longer
able
to
conceal
from
her
conscious
mind
(
nor
had
any
wish
to
)
that
there
was
something
inside
her
as
happily
shameless
as
a
tabby
in
heat
going
into
her
belly
dance
for
the
enticement
of
the
neighborhood
toms
.