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871
Because
I
failed
to
separate
what
I
felt
from
what
was
,
I
was
incapable
of
stepping
outside
myself
and
seeing
the
world
for
what
it
was
:
a
simple
place
where
two
people
can
walk
up
to
each
other
at
any
time
and
speak
.
872
Many
people
,
when
they
feel
some
form
of
pain
or
anger
or
sadness
,
drop
everything
and
attend
to
numbing
out
whatever
they
re
feeling
.
873
Their
goal
is
to
get
back
to
feeling
good
again
as
quickly
as
possible
,
even
if
that
means
substances
or
deluding
themselves
or
returning
to
their
shitty
values
.
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874
Learn
to
sustain
the
pain
you
ve
chosen
.
When
you
choose
a
new
value
,
you
are
choosing
to
introduce
a
new
form
of
pain
into
your
life
.
Relish
it
.
Savor
it
.
Welcome
it
with
open
arms
.
Then
act
despite
it
.
875
I
won
t
lie
:
this
is
going
to
feel
impossibly
hard
at
first
.
But
you
can
start
simple
.
You
re
going
to
feel
as
though
you
don
t
know
what
to
do
.
But
we
ve
discussed
this
:
you
don
t
know
anything
.
Even
when
you
think
you
do
,
you
really
don
t
know
what
the
fuck
you
re
doing
.
So
really
,
what
is
there
to
lose
?
876
Life
is
about
not
knowing
and
then
doing
something
anyway
.
All
of
life
is
like
this
.
It
never
changes
.
Even
when
you
re
happy
.
Even
when
you
re
farting
fairy
dust
.
Even
when
you
win
the
lottery
and
buy
a
small
fleet
of
Jet
Skis
,
you
still
won
t
know
what
the
hell
you
re
doing
.
Don
t
ever
forget
that
.
And
don
t
ever
be
afraid
of
that
.
877
The
Do
Something
Principle
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878
In
2008
,
after
holding
down
a
day
job
for
all
of
six
weeks
,
I
gave
up
on
the
whole
job
thing
to
pursue
an
online
business
.
At
the
time
,
I
had
absolutely
no
clue
what
I
was
doing
,
but
I
figured
if
I
was
going
to
be
broke
and
miserable
,
I
might
as
well
be
while
working
on
my
own
terms
.
And
at
that
time
,
all
I
seemed
to
really
care
about
was
chasing
girls
.
So
fuck
it
,
I
decided
to
start
a
blog
about
my
crazy
dating
life
.
879
That
first
morning
that
I
woke
up
self
-
employed
,
terror
quickly
consumed
me
.
I
found
myself
sitting
with
my
laptop
and
realized
,
for
the
first
time
,
that
I
was
entirely
responsible
for
all
of
my
own
decisions
,
as
well
as
the
consequences
of
those
decisions
.
I
was
responsible
for
teaching
myself
web
design
,
Internet
marketing
,
search
engine
optimization
,
and
other
esoteric
topics
.
It
was
all
on
my
shoulders
now
.
And
so
I
did
what
any
twenty
-
four
-
year
-
old
who
d
just
quit
his
job
and
had
no
idea
what
he
was
doing
would
do
:
I
downloaded
some
computer
games
and
avoided
work
like
it
was
the
Ebola
virus
.
880
As
the
weeks
went
on
and
my
bank
account
turned
from
black
to
red
,
it
was
clear
that
I
needed
to
come
up
with
some
sort
of
strategy
to
get
myself
to
put
in
the
twelve
-
or
fourteen
-
hour
days
that
were
necessary
to
get
a
new
business
off
the
ground
.
And
that
plan
came
from
an
unexpected
place
.