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- Марк Мэнсон
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- Тонкое искусство пофигизма
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- Стр. 57/115
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When
I
took
that
approach
,
a
few
things
happened
.
First
,
I
began
to
improve
myself
.
I
started
exercising
and
spending
more
time
with
my
friends
(
whom
I
had
been
neglecting
)
.
I
started
deliberately
meeting
new
people
.
I
took
a
big
study
-
abroad
trip
and
did
some
volunteer
work
.
And
slowly
,
I
started
to
feel
better
.
I
still
resented
my
ex
for
what
she
had
done
.
But
at
least
now
I
was
taking
responsibility
for
my
own
emotions
.
And
by
doing
so
,
I
was
choosing
better
values
—
values
aimed
at
taking
care
of
myself
,
learning
to
feel
better
about
myself
,
rather
than
aimed
at
getting
her
to
fix
what
she
’
d
broken
.
(
By
the
way
,
this
whole
“
holding
her
responsible
for
my
emotions
”
thing
is
probably
part
of
why
she
left
in
the
first
place
.
More
on
that
in
a
couple
chapters
.
)
Then
,
about
a
year
later
,
something
funny
began
to
happen
.
As
I
looked
back
on
our
relationship
,
I
started
to
notice
problems
I
had
never
noticed
before
,
problems
that
I
was
to
blame
for
and
that
I
could
have
done
something
to
solve
.
I
realized
that
it
was
likely
that
I
hadn
’
t
been
a
great
boyfriend
,
and
that
people
don
’
t
just
magically
cheat
on
somebody
they
’
ve
been
with
unless
they
are
unhappy
for
some
reason
.
I
’
m
not
saying
that
this
excused
what
my
ex
did
—
not
at
all
.
But
recognizing
my
mistakes
helped
me
to
realize
that
I
perhaps
hadn
’
t
been
the
innocent
victim
I
’
d
believed
myself
to
be
.
That
I
had
a
role
to
play
in
enabling
the
shitty
relationship
to
continue
for
as
long
as
it
did
.
After
all
,
people
who
date
each
other
tend
to
have
similar
values
.
And
if
I
dated
someone
with
shitty
values
for
that
long
,
what
did
that
say
about
me
and
my
values
?
I
learned
the
hard
way
that
if
the
people
in
your
relationships
are
selfish
and
doing
hurtful
things
,
it
’
s
likely
you
are
too
,
you
just
don
’
t
realize
it
.
In
hindsight
,
I
was
able
to
look
back
and
see
warning
signs
of
my
ex
-
girlfriend
’
s
character
,
signs
I
had
chosen
to
ignore
or
brush
off
when
I
was
with
her
.
That
was
my
fault
.
I
could
look
back
and
see
that
I
hadn
’
t
exactly
been
the
Boyfriend
of
the
Year
to
her
either
.
In
fact
,
I
had
often
been
cold
and
arrogant
toward
her
;
other
times
I
took
her
for
granted
and
blew
her
off
and
hurt
her
.
These
things
were
my
fault
too
.
Did
my
mistakes
justify
her
mistake
?
No
.
But
still
,
I
took
on
the
responsibility
of
never
making
those
same
mistakes
again
,
and
never
overlooking
the
same
signs
again
,
to
help
guarantee
that
I
will
never
suffer
the
same
consequences
again
.
I
took
on
the
responsibility
of
striving
to
make
my
future
relationships
with
women
that
much
better
.
And
I
’
m
happy
to
report
that
I
have
.
No
more
cheating
girlfriends
leaving
me
,
no
more
253
stomach
punches
.
I
took
responsibility
for
my
problems
and
improved
upon
them
.
I
took
responsibility
for
my
role
in
that
unhealthy
relationship
and
improved
upon
it
with
later
relationships
.
And
you
know
what
?
My
ex
leaving
me
,
while
one
of
the
most
painful
experiences
I
’
ve
ever
had
,
was
also
one
of
the
most
important
and
influential
experiences
of
my
life
.
I
credit
it
with
inspiring
a
significant
amount
of
personal
growth
.
I
learned
more
from
that
single
problem
than
dozens
of
my
successes
combined
.
