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- Марк Мэнсон
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A
few
years
ago
,
I
had
written
about
some
of
the
ideas
in
this
chapter
on
my
blog
,
and
a
man
left
a
comment
.
He
said
that
I
was
shallow
and
superficial
,
adding
that
I
had
no
real
understanding
of
life
’
s
problems
or
human
responsibility
.
He
said
that
his
son
had
recently
died
in
a
car
accident
.
He
accused
me
of
not
knowing
what
true
pain
was
and
said
that
I
was
an
asshole
for
suggesting
that
he
himself
was
responsible
for
the
pain
he
felt
over
his
son
’
s
death
.
This
man
had
obviously
suffered
pain
much
greater
than
most
people
ever
have
to
confront
in
their
lives
.
He
didn
’
t
choose
for
his
son
to
die
,
nor
was
it
his
fault
that
his
son
died
.
The
responsibility
for
coping
with
that
loss
was
given
to
him
even
though
it
was
clearly
and
understandably
unwanted
.
But
despite
all
that
,
he
was
still
responsible
for
his
own
emotions
,
beliefs
,
and
actions
.
How
he
reacted
to
his
son
’
s
death
was
his
own
choice
.
Pain
of
one
sort
or
another
is
inevitable
for
all
of
us
,
but
we
get
to
choose
what
it
means
to
and
for
us
.
Even
in
claiming
that
he
had
no
choice
in
the
matter
and
simply
wanted
his
son
back
,
he
was
making
a
choice
—
one
of
many
ways
he
could
have
chosen
to
use
that
pain
.
Of
course
,
I
didn
’
t
say
any
of
this
to
him
.
I
was
too
busy
being
horrified
and
thinking
that
yes
,
perhaps
I
was
way
in
over
my
head
and
had
no
idea
what
the
fuck
I
was
talking
about
.
That
’
s
a
hazard
that
comes
with
my
line
of
work
.
A
problem
that
I
chose
.
And
a
problem
that
I
was
responsible
for
dealing
with
.
At
first
,
I
felt
awful
.
But
then
,
after
a
few
minutes
,
I
began
to
get
angry
.
His
objections
had
little
to
do
with
what
I
was
actually
saying
,
I
told
myself
.
And
what
the
hell
?
Just
because
I
don
’
t
have
a
kid
who
died
doesn
’
t
mean
I
haven
’
t
experienced
terrible
pain
myself
.
But
then
I
actually
applied
my
own
advice
.
I
chose
my
problem
.
I
could
get
mad
at
this
man
and
argue
with
him
,
try
to
“
outpain
”
him
with
my
own
pain
,
which
would
just
make
us
both
look
stupid
and
insensitive
.
Or
I
could
choose
a
better
problem
,
working
on
practicing
patience
,
understanding
my
readers
better
,
and
keeping
that
man
in
mind
every
time
I
wrote
about
pain
and
trauma
from
then
on
.
And
that
’
s
what
I
’
ve
tried
to
do
.
I
replied
simply
that
I
was
sorry
for
his
loss
and
left
it
at
that
.
What
else
can
you
say
?
Genetics
and
the
Hand
We
’
re
Dealt
In
2013
,
the
BBC
rounded
up
half
a
dozen
teenagers
with
obsessive
-
compulsive
disorder
(
OCD
)
and
followed
them
as
they
attended
intensive
therapies
to
help
them
overcome
their
unwanted
thoughts
and
repetitive
behaviors
.
There
was
Imogen
,
a
seventeen
-
year
-
old
girl
who
had
a
compulsive
need
to
tap
every
surface
she
walked
past
;
if
she
failed
to
do
so
,
she
was
flooded
with
horrible
thoughts
of
her
family
dying
.
There
was
Josh
,
who
needed
to
do
everything
with
both
sides
of
his
body
—
shake
a
person
’
s
hand
with
both
his
right
and
his
left
hand
,
eat
his
food
with
each
hand
,
step
through
a
doorway
with
both
feet
,
and
so
on
.
If
he
didn
’
t
“
equalize
”
his
two
sides
,
he
suffered
from
severe
panic
attacks
.
And
then
there
was
Jack
,
a
classic
germophobe
who
refused
to
leave
his
house
without
wearing
gloves
,
boiled
all
his
water
before
drinking
it
,
and
refused
to
eat
food
not
cleaned
and
prepared
himself
.
