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- Марк Мэнсон
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- Тонкое искусство пофигизма
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- Стр. 48/115
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It
’
s
simple
,
really
:
things
go
wrong
,
people
upset
us
,
accidents
happen
.
These
things
make
us
feel
like
shit
.
And
that
’
s
fine
.
Negative
emotions
are
a
necessary
component
of
emotional
health
.
To
deny
that
negativity
is
to
perpetuate
problems
rather
than
solve
them
.
The
trick
with
negative
emotions
is
to
1
)
express
them
in
a
socially
acceptable
and
healthy
manner
and
2
)
express
them
in
a
way
that
aligns
with
your
values
.
Simple
example
:
A
value
of
mine
is
nonviolence
.
Therefore
,
when
I
get
mad
at
somebody
,
I
express
that
anger
,
but
I
also
make
a
point
of
not
punching
them
in
the
face
.
Radical
idea
,
I
know
.
But
the
anger
is
not
the
problem
.
Anger
is
natural
.
Anger
is
a
part
of
life
.
Anger
is
arguably
quite
healthy
in
many
situations
.
(
Remember
,
emotions
are
just
feedback
.
)
See
,
it
’
s
the
punching
people
in
the
face
that
’
s
the
problem
.
Not
the
anger
.
The
anger
is
merely
the
messenger
for
my
fist
in
your
face
.
Don
’
t
blame
the
messenger
.
Blame
my
fist
(
or
your
face
)
.
When
we
force
ourselves
to
stay
positive
at
all
times
,
we
deny
the
existence
of
our
life
’
s
problems
.
And
when
we
deny
our
problems
,
we
rob
ourselves
of
the
chance
to
solve
them
and
generate
happiness
.
Problems
add
a
sense
of
meaning
and
importance
to
our
life
.
Thus
to
duck
our
problems
is
to
lead
a
meaningless
(
even
if
supposedly
pleasant
)
existence
.
In
the
long
run
,
completing
a
marathon
makes
us
happier
than
eating
a
chocolate
cake
.
Raising
a
child
makes
us
happier
than
beating
a
video
game
.
Starting
a
small
business
with
friends
while
struggling
to
make
ends
meet
makes
us
happier
than
buying
a
new
computer
.
These
activities
are
stressful
,
arduous
,
and
often
unpleasant
.
They
also
require
withstanding
problem
after
problem
.
Yet
they
are
some
of
the
most
meaningful
moments
and
joyous
things
we
’
ll
ever
do
.
They
involve
pain
,
struggle
,
even
anger
and
despair
—
yet
once
they
’
re
accomplished
,
we
look
back
and
get
all
misty
-
eyed
telling
our
grandkids
about
them
.
As
Freud
once
said
,
“
One
day
,
in
retrospect
,
the
years
of
struggle
will
strike
you
as
the
most
beautiful
.
”
This
is
why
these
values
—
pleasure
,
material
success
,
always
being
right
,
staying
positive
—
are
poor
ideals
for
a
person
’
s
life
.
Some
of
the
greatest
moments
of
one
’
s
life
are
not
pleasant
,
not
successful
,
not
known
,
and
not
positive
.
The
point
is
to
nail
down
some
good
values
and
metrics
,
and
pleasure
and
success
will
naturally
emerge
as
a
result
.
These
things
are
side
effects
of
good
values
.
By
themselves
,
they
are
empty
highs
.
Defining
Good
and
Bad
Values
Good
values
are
1
)
reality
-
based
,
2
)
socially
constructive
,
and
3
)
immediate
and
controllable
.
