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- Марк Мэнсон
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- Тонкое искусство пофигизма
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- Стр. 102/115
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Unfortunately
,
building
a
track
record
for
trust
takes
time
—
certainly
a
lot
more
time
than
it
takes
to
break
trust
.
And
during
that
trust
-
building
period
,
things
are
likely
to
be
pretty
shitty
.
So
both
people
in
the
relationship
must
be
conscious
of
the
struggle
they
’
re
choosing
to
undertake
.
I
use
the
example
of
cheating
in
a
romantic
relationship
,
but
this
process
applies
to
a
breach
in
any
relationship
.
When
trust
is
destroyed
,
it
can
be
rebuilt
only
if
the
following
two
steps
happen
:
1
)
the
trust
-
breaker
admits
the
true
values
that
caused
the
breach
and
owns
up
to
them
,
and
2
)
the
trust
-
breaker
builds
a
solid
track
record
of
improved
behavior
over
time
.
Without
the
first
step
,
there
should
be
no
attempt
at
reconciliation
in
the
first
place
.
Trust
is
like
a
china
plate
.
If
you
break
it
once
,
with
some
care
and
attention
you
can
put
it
back
together
again
.
But
if
you
break
it
again
,
it
splits
into
even
more
pieces
and
it
takes
far
longer
to
piece
together
again
.
If
you
break
it
more
and
more
times
,
eventually
it
shatters
to
the
point
where
it
’
s
impossible
to
restore
.
There
are
too
many
broken
pieces
,
and
too
much
dust
.
Freedom
Through
Commitment
Consumer
culture
is
very
good
at
making
us
want
more
,
more
,
more
.
Underneath
all
the
hype
and
marketing
is
the
implication
that
more
is
always
better
.
I
bought
into
this
idea
for
years
.
Make
more
money
,
visit
more
countries
,
have
more
experiences
,
be
with
more
women
.
But
more
is
not
always
better
.
In
fact
,
the
opposite
is
true
.
We
are
actually
often
happier
with
less
.
When
we
’
re
overloaded
with
opportunities
and
options
,
we
suffer
from
what
psychologists
refer
to
as
the
paradox
of
choice
.
Basically
,
the
more
options
we
’
re
given
,
the
less
satisfied
we
become
with
whatever
we
choose
,
because
we
’
re
aware
of
all
the
other
options
we
’
re
potentially
forfeiting
.
So
if
you
have
a
choice
between
two
places
to
live
and
pick
one
,
you
’
ll
likely
feel
confident
and
comfortable
that
you
made
the
right
choice
.
You
’
ll
be
satisfied
with
your
decision
.
But
if
you
have
a
choice
among
twenty
-
eight
places
to
live
and
pick
one
,
the
paradox
of
choice
says
that
you
’
ll
likely
spend
years
agonizing
,
doubting
,
and
second
-
guessing
yourself
,
wondering
if
you
really
made
the
“
right
”
choice
,
and
if
you
’
re
truly
maximizing
your
own
happiness
.
And
this
anxiety
,
this
desire
for
certainty
and
perfection
and
success
,
will
make
you
unhappy
.
So
what
do
we
do
?
Well
,
if
you
’
re
like
I
used
to
be
,
you
avoid
choosing
anything
at
all
.
You
aim
to
keep
your
options
open
as
long
as
possible
.
You
avoid
commitment
.
But
while
investing
deeply
in
one
person
,
one
place
,
one
job
,
one
activity
might
deny
us
the
breadth
of
experience
we
’
d
like
,
pursuing
a
breadth
of
experience
denies
us
the
opportunity
to
experience
the
rewards
of
depth
of
experience
.
There
are
some
experiences
that
you
can
have
only
when
you
’
ve
lived
in
the
same
place
for
five
years
,
when
you
’
ve
been
with
the
same
person
for
over
a
decade
,
when
you
’
ve
been
working
on
the
same
skill
or
craft
for
half
your
lifetime
.
Now
that
I
’
m
in
my
thirties
,
I
can
finally
recognize
that
commitment
,
in
its
own
way
,
offers
a
wealth
of
opportunity
and
experiences
that
would
otherwise
never
be
available
to
me
,
no
matter
where
I
went
or
what
I
did
.
