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Yes
;
but
what
shall
I
do
?
I
asked
myself
at
last
,
and
I
stamped
many
times
on
the
pavement
and
repeated
,
What
shall
I
do
?
A
gentleman
just
going
by
remarks
,
with
a
smile
,
"
You
ought
to
go
and
ask
to
be
locked
up
.
"
I
looked
after
him
.
One
of
our
well-known
lady
's
doctors
,
nicknamed
"
The
Duke
.
"
Not
even
he
understood
my
real
condition
--
a
man
I
knew
;
whose
hand
I
had
shaken
.
I
grew
quiet
.
Locked
up
?
Yes
,
I
was
mad
;
he
was
right
.
I
felt
madness
in
my
blood
;
felt
its
darting
pain
through
my
brain
.
So
that
was
to
be
the
end
of
me
!
Yes
,
yes
;
and
I
resume
my
wearisome
,
painful
walk
.
There
was
the
haven
in
which
I
was
to
find
rest
.
Suddenly
I
stop
again
.
But
not
locked
up
!
I
say
,
not
that
;
and
I
grew
almost
hoarse
with
fear
.
I
implored
grace
for
myself
;
begged
to
the
wind
and
weather
not
to
be
locked
up
.
I
should
have
to
be
brought
to
the
guard
-
house
again
,
imprisoned
in
a
dark
cell
which
had
not
a
spark
of
light
in
it
.
Not
that
!
There
must
be
other
channels
yet
open
that
I
had
not
tried
,
and
I
would
try
them
.
I
would
be
so
earnestly
painstaking
;
would
take
good
time
for
it
,
and
go
indefatigably
round
from
house
to
house
.
For
example
,
there
was
Cisler
the
music-seller
;
I
had
n't
been
to
him
at
all
.
Some
remedy
would
turn
up
!
...
.
Thus
I
stumbled
on
,
and
talked
until
I
brought
myself
to
weep
with
emotion
.
Cisler
!
Was
that
perchance
a
hint
from
on
high
?
His
name
had
struck
me
for
no
reason
,
and
he
lived
so
far
away
;
but
I
would
look
him
up
all
the
same
,
go
slowly
,
and
rest
between
times
.
I
knew
the
place
well
;
I
had
been
there
often
,
when
times
were
good
had
bought
much
music
from
him
.
Should
I
ask
him
for
sixpence
?
Perhaps
that
might
make
him
feel
uncomfortable
.
I
would
ask
him
for
a
shilling
.
I
went
into
the
shop
,
and
asked
for
the
chief
.
They
showed
me
into
his
office
;
there
he
sat
--
handsome
,
well-dressed
in
the
latest
style
--
running
down
some
accounts
.
I
stammered
through
an
excuse
,
and
set
forth
my
errand
.
Compelled
by
need
to
apply
to
him
...
it
should
not
be
very
long
till
I
could
pay
it
back
...
when
I
got
paid
for
my
newspaper
article
...
.
He
would
confer
such
a
great
benefit
on
me
...
.
Even
as
I
was
speaking
he
turned
about
to
his
desk
,
and
resumed
his
work
.
When
I
had
finished
,
he
glanced
sideways
at
me
,
shook
his
handsome
head
,
and
said
,
"
No
"
;
simply
"
no
"
--
no
explanation
--
not
another
word
.
My
knees
trembled
fearfully
,
and
I
supported
myself
against
the
little
polished
barrier
.
I
must
try
once
more
.
Why
should
just
his
name
have
occurred
to
me
as
I
stood
far
away
from
there
in
Vaterland
?
Something
in
my
left
side
jerked
a
couple
of
times
,
and
I
broke
out
into
a
sweat
.
I
said
I
was
really
awfully
run
down
,
and
rather
ill
,
worse
luck
.
It
would
certainly
be
no
longer
than
a
few
days
when
I
could
repay
it
.
If
he
would
be
so
kind
?
"
My
dear
fellow
,
why
do
you
come
to
me
?
"
he
queried
;
"
you
are
a
perfect
stranger
off
the
street
to
me
;
go
to
the
paper
where
you
are
known
.
"
"
But
only
for
this
evening
,
"
said
I
;
"
the
office
is
already
shut
up
,
and
I
am
very
hungry
.
"
He
shook
his
head
persistently
;
kept
on
shaking
it
after
I
had
seized
the
handle
of
the
door
.
"
Good-evening
,
"
I
said
.
It
was
not
any
hint
from
on
high
,
thought
I
,
and
I
smiled
bitterly
.
If
it
came
to
that
,
I
could
give
as
good
a
hint
as
that
myself
.
I
dragged
on
one
block
after
the
other
;
now
and
then
I
rested
on
a
step
.
If
only
I
could
escape
being
locked
up
.
The
terror
of
that
cell
pursued
me
all
the
time
;
left
me
no
peace
.
Whenever
I
caught
sight
of
a
policeman
in
my
path
I
staggered
into
a
side
street
to
avoid
meeting
him
.
Now
,
then
,
we
will
count
a
hundred
steps
,
and
try
our
luck
again
!
There
must
be
a
remedy
sometime
...
.
It
was
a
little
yarn-shop
--
a
place
in
which
I
had
never
before
set
foot
;
a
solitary
man
behind
the
counter
(
there
was
an
office
beyond
,
with
a
china
plate
on
the
door
)
was
arranging
things
on
the
shelves
and
counter
.
I
waited
till
the
last
customer
had
left
the
shop
--
a
young
lady
with
dimples
.
How
happy
she
looked
!
I
was
not
backward
in
trying
to
make
an
impression
with
the
pin
holding
my
coat
together
.
I
turned
,
and
my
chest
heaved
.
"
Do
you
wish
for
anything
?
"
queried
the
shopman
.
