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He
pauses
and
peers
up
at
me
again
to
make
sure
I
'm
getting
it
,
and
I
want
to
yell
out
to
him
Yes
,
I
see
:
Mexico
is
like
the
walnut
;
it
's
brown
and
hard
and
you
feel
it
with
your
eye
and
it
feels
like
the
walnut
!
You
're
making
sense
,
old
man
,
a
sense
of
your
own
.
You
're
not
crazy
the
way
they
think
.
Yes
...
I
see
...
But
the
fog
's
clogged
my
throat
to
where
I
ca
n't
make
a
sound
.
As
he
sifts
away
I
see
him
bend
back
over
that
hand
.
"
Now
...
The
green
sheep
is
...
Can-a-da
.
Canada
is
...
the
fir
tree
.
The
wheat
field
.
The
cal-en-dar
...
"
I
strain
to
see
him
drifting
away
.
I
strain
so
hard
my
eyes
ache
and
I
have
to
close
them
,
and
when
I
open
them
again
the
colonel
is
gone
.
I
'm
floating
by
myself
again
,
more
lost
than
ever
.
This
is
the
time
,
I
tell
myself
.
I
'm
going
for
good
.
There
's
old
Pete
,
face
like
a
searchlight
.
He
's
fifty
yards
off
to
my
left
,
but
I
can
see
him
plain
as
though
there
was
n't
any
fog
at
all
.
Or
maybe
he
's
up
right
close
and
real
small
,
I
ca
n't
be
sure
.
He
tells
me
once
about
how
tired
he
is
,
and
just
his
saying
it
makes
me
see
his
whole
life
on
the
railroad
,
see
him
working
to
figure
out
how
to
read
a
watch
,
breaking
a
sweat
while
he
tries
to
get
the
right
button
in
the
right
hole
of
his
railroad
overalls
,
doing
his
absolute
damnedest
to
keep
up
with
a
job
that
comes
so
easy
to
the
others
they
can
sit
back
in
a
chair
padded
with
cardboard
and
read
mystery
stories
and
girlie
books
.
Not
that
he
ever
really
figured
to
keep
up
--
he
knew
from
the
start
he
could
n't
do
that
--
but
he
had
to
try
to
keep
up
,
just
to
keep
them
in
sight
.
So
for
forty
years
he
was
able
to
live
,
if
not
right
in
the
world
of
men
,
at
least
on
the
edge
of
it
.
I
can
see
all
that
,
and
be
hurt
by
it
,
the
way
I
was
hurt
by
seeing
things
in
the
Army
,
in
the
war
.
The
way
I
was
hurt
by
seeing
what
happened
to
Papa
and
the
tribe
.
I
thought
I
'd
got
over
seeing
those
things
and
fretting
over
them
.
There
's
no
sense
in
it
.
There
's
nothing
to
be
done
.
"
I
'm
tired
,
"
is
what
he
says
.
"
I
know
you
're
tired
,
Pete
,
but
I
ca
n't
do
you
no
good
fretting
about
it
.
You
know
I
ca
n't
.
"
