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Then
I
discovered
something
:
I
do
n't
have
to
end
up
at
that
door
if
I
stay
still
when
the
fog
comes
over
me
and
just
keep
quiet
.
The
trouble
was
I
'd
been
finding
that
door
my
own
self
because
I
got
scared
of
being
lost
so
long
and
went
to
hollering
so
they
could
track
me
.
In
a
way
,
I
was
hollering
for
them
to
track
me
;
I
had
figured
that
anything
was
better
'n
being
lost
for
good
,
even
the
Shock
Shop
.
Now
,
I
do
n't
know
.
Being
lost
is
n't
so
bad
.
All
this
morning
I
been
waiting
for
them
to
fog
us
in
again
.
The
last
few
days
they
been
doing
it
more
and
more
.
It
's
my
idea
they
're
doing
it
on
account
of
McMurphy
.
They
have
n't
got
him
fixed
with
controls
yet
,
and
they
're
trying
to
catch
him
off
guard
.
They
can
see
he
's
due
to
be
a
problem
;
a
half
a
dozen
times
already
he
's
roused
Cheswick
and
Harding
and
some
of
the
others
to
where
it
looked
like
they
might
actually
stand
up
to
one
of
the
black
boys
--
but
always
,
just
the
time
it
looked
like
the
patient
might
be
helped
,
the
fog
would
start
,
like
it
's
starting
now
.
I
heard
the
compressor
start
pumping
in
the
grill
a
few
minutes
back
,
just
as
the
guys
went
to
moving
tables
out
of
the
day
room
for
the
therapeutic
meeting
,
and
already
the
mist
is
oozing
across
the
floor
so
thick
my
pants
legs
are
wet
.
I
'm
cleaning
the
windows
in
the
door
of
the
glass
station
,
and
I
hear
the
Big
Nurse
pick
up
the
phone
and
call
the
doctor
to
tell
him
we
're
just
about
ready
for
the
meeting
,
and
tell
him
perhaps
he
'd
best
keep
an
hour
free
this
afternoon
for
a
staff
meeting
.
"
The
reason
being
,
"
she
tells
him
,
"
I
think
it
is
past
time
to
have
a
discussion
of
the
subject
of
Patient
Randle
McMurphy
and
whether
he
should
be
on
this
ward
or
not
.
"
She
listens
a
minute
,
then
tells
him
,
"
I
do
n't
think
it
's
wise
to
let
him
go
on
upsetting
the
patients
the
way
he
has
the
last
few
days
.
"
That
's
why
she
's
fogging
the
ward
for
the
meeting
.
She
do
n't
usually
do
that
.
But
now
she
's
going
to
do
something
with
McMurphy
today
,
probably
ship
him
to
Disturbed
.
I
put
down
my
window
rag
and
go
to
my
chair
at
the
end
of
the
line
of
Chronics
,
barely
able
to
see
the
guys
getting
into
their
chairs
and
the
doctor
coming
through
the
door
wiping
his
glasses
like
he
thinks
the
blurred
look
comes
from
his
steamed
lenses
instead
of
the
fog
.
It
's
rolling
in
thicker
than
I
ever
seen
it
before
.
I
can
hear
them
out
there
,
trying
to
go
on
with
the
meeting
,
talking
some
nonsense
about
Billy
Bibbit
's
stutter
and
how
it
came
about
.
The
words
come
to
me
like
through
water
,
it
's
so
thick
.
In
fact
it
's
so
much
like
water
it
floats
me
right
up
out
of
my
chair
and
I
do
n't
know
which
end
is
up
for
a
while
.
Floating
makes
me
a
little
sick
to
the
stomach
at
first
.
I
ca
n't
see
a
thing
.
I
never
had
it
so
thick
it
floated
me
like
this
.
The
words
get
dim
and
loud
,
off
and
on
,
as
I
float
around
,
but
as
loud
as
they
get
,
loud
enough
sometimes
I
know
I
'm
right
next
to
the
guy
that
's
talking
,
I
still
ca
n't
see
a
thing
.
I
recognize
Billy
's
voice
,
stuttering
worse
than
ever
because
he
's
nervous
.
"
...
fuh-fuh-flunked
out
of
college
be-be-cause
I
quit
ROTC
.
I
c-c-couldn
'
t
take
it
.
Wh-wh-wh-whenever
the
officer
in
charge
of
class
would
call
roll
,
call
'
Bibbit
,
'
I
could
n't
answer
.
You
were
s-s-supposed
to
say
heh
--
heh
--
heh
...
He
's
choking
on
the
word
,
like
it
's
a
bone
in
his
throat
.
I
hear
him
swallow
and
start
again
.
"
You
were
supposed
to
say
,
'
Here
sir
,
'
and
I
never
c-c-could
get
it
out
.
"
His
voice
gets
dim
;
then
the
Big
Nurse
's
voice
comes
cutting
from
the
left
.
"
Can
you
recall
,
Billy
,
when
you
first
had
speech
trouble
?
When
did
you
first
stutter
,
do
you
remember
?
"
