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I
'm
further
off
than
I
've
ever
been
.
This
is
what
it
's
like
to
be
dead
.
I
guess
this
is
what
it
's
like
to
be
a
Vegetable
;
you
lose
yourself
in
the
fog
.
You
do
n't
move
.
They
feed
your
body
till
it
finally
stops
eating
;
then
they
burn
it
.
It
's
not
so
bad
.
There
's
no
pain
.
I
do
n't
feel
much
of
anything
other
than
a
touch
of
chill
I
figure
will
pass
in
time
.
I
see
my
commanding
officer
pinning
notices
on
the
bulletin
board
,
what
we
're
to
wear
today
.
I
see
the
US
Department
of
Interior
bearing
down
on
our
little
tribe
with
a
gravel-crushing
machine
.
I
see
Papa
come
loping
out
of
a
draw
and
slow
up
to
try
and
take
aim
at
a
big
six-point
buck
springing
off
through
the
cedars
.
Shot
after
shot
puffs
out
of
the
barrel
,
knocking
dust
all
around
the
buck
.
I
come
out
of
the
draw
behind
Papa
and
bring
the
buck
down
with
my
second
shot
just
as
it
starts
climbing
the
rimrock
.
I
grin
at
Papa
.
I
never
knew
you
to
miss
a
shot
like
that
before
,
Papa
.
Eye
's
gone
,
boy
.
Ca
n't
hold
a
bead
.
Sights
on
my
gun
just
now
was
shakin
'
like
a
dog
shittin
'
peach
pits
.
Papa
,
I
'm
telling
you
:
that
cactus
moon
of
Sid
's
is
gon
na
make
you
old
before
your
time
.
A
man
drinks
that
cactus
moon
of
Sid
's
boy
,
he
's
already
old
before
his
time
.
Let
's
go
gut
that
animal
out
before
the
flies
blow
him
.
That
's
not
even
happening
now
.
You
see
?
There
's
nothing
you
can
do
about
a
happening
out
of
the
past
like
that
.
Look
there
,
my
man
...
I
hear
whispers
,
black
boys
.
