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"
But
I
tried
,
though
,
"
he
says
.
"
Goddammit
,
I
sure
as
hell
did
that
much
,
now
,
did
n't
I
?
"
And
walks
out
and
leaves
those
stained
pieces
of
paper
on
the
floor
for
whoever
wants
to
sort
through
them
.
A
visiting
doctor
covered
with
gray
cobwebs
on
his
yellow
skull
is
addressing
the
resident
boys
in
the
staff
room
.
I
come
sweeping
past
him
.
"
Oh
,
and
what
's
this
here
.
"
He
gives
me
a
look
like
I
'm
some
kind
of
bug
.
One
of
the
residents
points
at
his
ears
,
signal
that
I
'm
deaf
,
and
the
visiting
doctor
goes
on
.
I
push
my
broom
up
face
to
face
with
a
big
picture
Public
Relation
brought
in
one
time
when
it
was
fogged
so
thick
I
did
n't
see
him
.
The
picture
is
a
guy
fly-fishing
somewhere
in
the
mountains
,
looks
like
the
Ochocos
near
Paineville
--
snow
on
the
peaks
showing
over
the
pines
,
long
white
aspen
trunks
lining
the
stream
,
sheep
sorrel
growing
in
sour
green
patches
.
The
guy
is
flicking
his
fly
in
a
pool
behind
a
rock
.
It
's
no
place
for
a
fly
,
it
's
a
place
for
a
single
egg
on
a
number-six
hook
--
he
'd
do
better
to
drift
the
fly
over
those
riffles
downstream
.
There
's
a
path
running
down
through
the
aspen
,
and
I
push
my
broom
down
the
path
a
ways
and
sit
down
on
a
rock
and
look
back
out
through
the
frame
at
that
visiting
doctor
talking
with
the
residents
.
I
can
see
him
stabbing
some
point
in
the
palm
of
his
hand
with
his
finger
,
but
I
ca
n't
hear
what
he
says
because
of
the
crash
of
the
cold
,
frothy
stream
coming
down
out
of
the
rocks
.
I
can
smell
the
snow
in
the
wind
where
it
blows
down
off
the
peaks
.
I
can
see
mole
burrows
humping
along
under
the
grass
and
buffalo
weed
.
It
's
a
real
nice
place
to
stretch
your
legs
and
take
it
easy
.
You
forget
--
if
you
do
n't
sit
down
and
make
the
effort
to
think
back
--
forget
how
it
was
at
the
old
hospital
They
did
n't
have
nice
places
like
this
on
the
walls
for
you
to
climb
into
.
They
did
n't
have
TV
or
swimming
pools
or
chicken
twice
a
month
.
They
did
n't
have
nothing
but
walls
and
chairs
,
confinement
jackets
it
took
you
hours
of
hard
work
to
get
out
of
.
They
've
learned
a
lot
since
then
.
"
Come
a
long
way
,
"
says
fat-faced
Public
Relation
.
They
've
made
life
look
very
pleasant
with
paint
and
decorations
and
chrome
bathroom
fixtures
.
"
A
man
that
would
want
to
run
away
from
a
place
as
nice
as
this
,
"
says
fat-faced
Public
Relation
,
"
why
,
there
'd
be
something
wrong
with
him
.
"
Out
in
the
staff
room
the
visiting
authority
is
hugging
his
elbows
and
shivering
like
he
's
cold
while
he
answers
questions
the
resident
boys
ask
him
.
He
's
thin
and
meatless
,
and
his
clothes
flap
around
his
bones
.
He
stands
there
,
hugging
his
elbows
and
shivering
.
Maybe
he
feels
the
cold
snow
wind
off
the
peaks
too
.
It
's
getting
hard
to
locate
my
bed
at
night
,
have
to
crawl
around
on
my
hands
and
knees
feeling
underneath
the
springs
till
I
find
my
gobs
of
gum
stuck
there
:
Nobody
complains
about
all
the
fog
.
I
know
why
,
now
:
as
bad
as
it
is
,
you
can
slip
back
in
it
and
feel
safe
.
That
's
what
McMurphy
ca
n't
understand
,
us
wanting
to
be
safe
.
He
keeps
trying
to
drag
us
out
of
the
fog
,
out
in
the
open
where
we
'd
be
easy
to
get
at
.
