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We
'd
stopped
laughing
.
We
watched
Billy
folding
into
the
floor
,
head
going
back
,
knees
coming
forward
.
He
rubbed
his
hand
up
and
down
that
green
pant
leg
.
He
was
shaking
his
head
in
panic
like
a
kid
that
's
been
promised
a
whipping
just
as
soon
as
a
willow
is
cut
.
The
nurse
touched
his
shoulder
to
comfort
him
.
The
touch
shook
him
like
a
blow
.
"
Billy
,
I
do
n't
want
her
to
believe
something
like
this
of
you
--
but
what
am
I
to
think
?
"
"
Duh-duh-don
'
t
t-tell
,
M-M-M-Miss
Ratched
.
Duh-duh-duh
--
"
"
Billy
,
I
have
to
tell
.
I
hate
to
believe
you
would
behave
like
this
,
but
,
really
,
what
else
can
I
think
?
I
find
you
alone
,
on
a
mattress
,
with
this
sort
of
woman
.
"
"
No
!
I
d-d-didn
'
t.
I
was
--
"
His
hand
went
to
his
cheek
again
and
stuck
there
.
"
She
did
.
"
"
Billy
,
this
girl
could
not
have
pulled
you
in
here
forcibly
.
"
She
shook
her
head
.
"
Understand
,
I
would
like
to
believe
something
else
--
for
your
poor
mother
's
sake
.
"
The
hand
pulled
down
his
cheek
,
raking
long
red
marks
.
"
She
d-did
.
"
He
looked
around
him
.
"
And
M-M-McMurphy
!
He
did
.
And
Harding
!
And
the-the-the
rest
!
They
t-t-teased
me
,
called
me
things
!
"
Now
his
face
was
fastened
to
hers
.
He
did
n't
look
to
one
side
or
the
other
,
but
only
straight
ahead
at
her
face
,
like
there
was
a
spiraling
light
there
instead
of
features
,
a
hypnotizing
swirl
of
cream
white
and
blue
and
orange
.
He
swallowed
and
waited
for
her
to
say
something
,
but
she
would
n't
;
her
skill
,
her
fantastic
mechanical
power
flooded
back
into
her
,
analyzing
the
situation
and
reporting
to
her
that
all
she
had
to
do
was
keep
quiet
.
"
They
m-m-made
me
!
Please
,
M-Miss
Ratched
,
they
may-may-MAY
-
!
"
