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And
maybe
this
was
why
even
though
Adam
willingly
submitted
to
Schubert
symphonies
and
attended
any
recital
I
gave
,
bringing
me
stargazer
lilies
,
my
favorite
flower
,
I
’
d
still
rather
have
gone
to
the
dentist
than
to
one
of
his
shows
.
Which
was
so
churlish
of
me
.
I
thought
of
what
Mom
sometimes
said
to
me
when
I
was
feeling
insecure
:
"
Fake
it
till
you
make
it
.
"
By
the
time
I
finished
playing
the
piece
three
times
over
,
I
decided
that
not
only
would
I
go
to
his
show
,
but
for
once
I
’
d
make
as
much
of
an
effort
to
understand
his
world
as
he
did
mine
.
"
I
need
your
help
,
"
I
told
Mom
that
night
after
dinner
as
we
stood
side
by
side
doing
dishes
.
"
I
think
we
’
ve
established
that
I
’
m
not
very
good
at
trigonometry
.
Maybe
you
can
try
the
online
-
tutor
thing
,
"
Mom
said
.
"
Not
math
help
.
Something
else
.
"
"
I
’
ll
do
my
best
.
What
do
you
need
?
’
"
Advice
.
Who
’
s
the
coolest
,
toughest
,
hottest
rocker
girl
you
can
think
of
?
"
"
Debbie
Harry
,
"
Mom
said
.
"
Tha
—
"
"
Not
finished
,
"
Mom
interrupted
.
"
You
can
’
t
ask
me
to
pick
only
one
.
That
’
s
so
Sophie
’
s
Choice
.
Kathleen
Hannah
.
Patti
Smith
.
Joan
Jett
.
Courtney
Love
,
in
her
demented
destructionist
way
.
Lucinda
Williams
,
even
though
she
’
s
country
she
’
s
tough
as
nails
.
Kim
Gordon
from
Sonic
Youth
,
pushing
fifty
and
still
at
it
.
That
Cat
Power
woman
.
Joan
Armatrading
.
Why
,
is
this
some
kind
of
social
-
studies
project
?
"
"
Kind
of
,
"
I
answered
,
toweling
off
a
chipped
plate
.
"
It
’
s
for
Halloween
.
"
