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451
Adam
rolled
his
eyes
.
"
Well
,
become
one
.
It
s
Halloween
,
our
first
one
together
.
Shooting
Star
has
a
big
show
that
night
.
It
s
a
costume
concert
,
and
you
promised
to
go
.
"
452
Inwardly
,
I
groaned
.
After
six
months
with
Adam
,
I
had
just
gotten
used
to
us
being
the
odd
couple
at
school
people
called
us
Groovy
and
the
Geek
.
And
I
was
starting
to
become
more
comfortable
with
Adam
s
bandmates
,
and
had
even
learned
a
few
words
of
rock
talk
.
I
could
hold
my
own
now
when
Adam
took
me
to
the
House
of
Rock
,
the
rambling
house
near
the
college
where
the
rest
of
the
band
all
lived
.
I
could
even
participate
in
the
band
s
punk
-
rock
pot
-
luck
parties
when
everyone
invited
had
to
bring
something
from
their
fridge
that
was
on
the
verge
of
spoiling
.
We
took
all
the
ingredients
and
made
something
out
of
it
.
I
was
actually
pretty
good
at
finding
ways
to
turn
the
vegetarian
ground
beef
,
beets
,
feta
cheese
,
and
apricots
into
something
edible
.
453
But
I
still
hated
the
shows
and
hated
myself
for
hating
them
.
Отключить рекламу
454
The
clubs
were
smoky
,
which
hurt
my
eyes
and
made
my
clothes
stink
.
The
speakers
were
always
turned
up
so
high
that
the
music
blared
,
causing
my
ears
ring
so
loudly
afterward
that
the
high
-
pitched
drone
would
actually
keep
me
up
.
I
d
lie
in
bed
,
replaying
the
awkward
night
and
feeling
shittier
about
it
with
each
playback
.
455
"
Don
t
tell
me
you
re
gonna
back
out
,
"
Adam
said
,
looking
equal
parts
hurt
and
irritated
.
456
"
What
about
Teddy
?
We
promised
we
d
take
him
trick
-
or
-
treating
"
457
"
Yeah
,
at
five
o
clock
.
We
don
t
have
to
be
at
the
show
until
ten
.
I
doubt
even
Master
Ted
could
trick
-
or
-
treat
for
five
solid
hours
.
So
you
have
no
excuse
.
And
you
d
better
get
a
good
outfit
together
because
I
m
going
to
look
hot
,
in
an
eighteenth
-
century
kind
of
way
.
"
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458
After
Adam
left
to
go
to
work
delivering
pizzas
,
I
had
a
pit
in
my
stomach
.
I
went
upstairs
to
practice
the
Dvo
?
ák
piece
Professor
Christie
had
assigned
me
,
and
to
work
out
what
was
bothering
me
.
Why
didn
t
I
like
his
shows
?
Was
it
because
Shooting
Star
was
getting
popular
and
I
was
jealous
?
Did
the
ever
-
growing
masses
of
girl
groupies
put
me
off
?
This
seemed
like
a
logical
enough
explanation
,
but
it
wasn
t
it
.
459
After
I
d
played
for
about
ten
minutes
,
it
came
to
me
:
My
aversion
to
Adam
s
shows
had
nothing
to
do
with
music
or
groupies
or
envy
.
It
had
to
with
the
doubts
.
The
same
niggling
doubts
I
always
had
about
not
belonging
.
460
I
didn
t
feel
like
I
belonged
with
my
family
,
and
now
I
didn
t
feel
like
I
belonged
with
Adam
,
except
unlike
my
family
,
who
was
stuck
with
me
,
Adam
had
chosen
me
,
and
this
I
didn
t
understand
.
Why
had
he
fallen
for
me
?
It
didn
t
make
sense
.
I
knew
it
was
music
that
brought
us
together
in
the
first
place
,
put
us
in
the
same
space
so
we
could
even
get
to
know
each
other
.
And
I
knew
that
Adam
liked
how
into
music
I
was
.
And
that
he
dug
my
sense
of
humor
,
"
so
dark
you
almost
miss
it
,
"
he
said
.
And
,
speaking
of
dark
,
I
knew
he
had
a
thing
for
dark
-
haired
girls
because
all
of
his
girlfriends
had
been
brunettes
.
And
I
knew
that
when
it
was
the
two
of
us
alone
together
,
we
could
talk
for
hours
,
or
sit
reading
side
by
side
for
hours
,
each
one
plugged
into
our
own
iPod
,
and
still
feel
completely
together
.
I
understood
all
that
in
my
head
,
but
I
still
didn
t
believe
it
in
my
heart
.
When
I
was
with
Adam
,
I
felt
picked
,
chosen
,
special
,
and
that
just
made
me
wonder
why
me
?
even
more
.