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Mom
and
Dad
would
never
call
Teddy
or
me
mistakes
.
Or
accidents
.
Or
surprises
.
Or
any
of
those
other
stupid
euphemisms
.
But
neither
one
of
us
was
planned
,
and
they
never
tried
to
hide
that
.
Mom
got
pregnant
with
me
when
she
was
young
.
Not
teenager
-
young
,
but
young
for
their
set
of
friends
.
She
was
twenty
-
three
and
she
and
Dad
had
already
been
married
for
a
year
.
In
a
funny
way
,
Dad
was
always
a
bow
-
tie
wearer
,
always
a
little
more
traditional
than
you
might
imagine
.
Because
even
though
he
had
blue
hair
and
tattoos
and
wore
leather
jackets
and
worked
in
a
record
store
,
he
wanted
to
marry
Mom
back
at
a
time
when
the
rest
of
their
friends
were
still
having
drunken
one
-
night
stands
.
"
Girlfriend
is
such
a
stupid
word
,
"
he
said
.
"
I
couldn
’
t
stand
calling
her
that
.
So
,
we
had
to
get
married
,
so
I
could
call
her
‘
wife
.
’
"
Mom
,
for
her
part
,
had
a
messed
-
up
family
.
She
didn
’
t
go
into
the
gory
details
with
me
,
but
I
knew
her
father
was
long
gone
and
for
a
while
she
had
been
out
of
touch
with
her
mother
,
though
now
we
saw
Grandma
and
Papa
Richard
,
which
is
what
we
called
Mom
’
s
stepfather
,
a
couple
times
a
year
.
So
Mom
was
taken
not
just
with
Dad
but
with
the
big
,
mostly
intact
,
relatively
normal
family
he
belonged
to
.
She
agreed
to
marry
Dad
even
though
they
’
d
been
together
just
a
year
.
Of
course
,
they
still
did
it
their
way
.
They
were
married
by
a
lesbian
justice
of
the
peace
while
their
friends
played
a
guitar
-
feedback
-
heavy
version
of
the
"
Wedding
March
.
"
The
bride
wore
a
white
-
fringed
flapper
dress
and
black
spiked
boots
.
The
groom
wore
leather
.
They
got
pregnant
with
me
because
of
someone
else
’
s
wedding
.
One
of
Dad
’
s
music
buddies
who
’
d
moved
to
Seattle
had
gotten
his
girlfriend
pregnant
,
so
they
were
doing
the
shotgun
thing
.
Mom
and
Dad
went
to
the
wedding
,
and
at
the
reception
,
they
got
a
little
drunk
and
back
at
the
hotel
weren
’
t
as
careful
as
usual
.
Three
months
later
there
was
a
thin
blue
line
on
the
pregnancy
test
.
The
way
they
tell
it
,
neither
felt
particularly
ready
to
be
parents
.
Neither
one
felt
like
an
adult
yet
.
But
there
was
no
question
that
they
would
have
me
.
Mom
was
adamantly
pro
-
choice
.
She
had
a
bumper
sticker
on
the
car
that
read
If
you
can
’
t
trust
me
with
a
choice
,
how
can
you
trust
me
with
a
child
?
But
in
her
case
the
choice
was
to
keep
me
.
Dad
was
more
hesitant
.
More
freaked
out
.
Until
the
minute
the
doctor
pulled
me
out
and
then
he
started
to
cry
.
