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I
want
to
tell
Kim
that
sometimes
you
don
’
t
have
a
choice
in
the
matter
.
The
hatch
in
the
helicopter
is
opened
,
and
my
stretcher
with
all
its
tubes
and
lines
is
loaded
in
.
I
climb
in
behind
it
.
A
medic
bounds
in
next
to
me
,
still
pumping
the
little
plastic
bulb
that
is
apparently
breathing
for
me
.
Once
we
lift
off
,
I
understand
why
Kim
got
so
queasy
.
A
helicopter
is
not
like
an
airplane
,
a
smooth
fast
bullet
.
A
helicopter
is
more
like
a
hockey
puck
,
bounced
through
the
sky
.
Up
and
down
,
side
to
side
.
I
have
no
idea
how
these
people
can
work
on
me
,
can
read
the
small
computer
printouts
,
can
drive
this
thing
while
they
communicate
about
me
through
headsets
,
how
they
can
do
any
of
it
with
the
chopper
chopping
around
.
The
helicopter
hits
an
air
pocket
and
by
all
rights
it
should
make
me
queasy
.
But
I
don
’
t
feel
anything
,
at
least
the
me
who
’
s
a
bystander
here
does
not
.
And
the
me
on
the
stretcher
doesn
’
t
seem
to
feel
anything
,
either
.
Again
I
have
to
wonder
if
I
’
m
dead
but
then
I
tell
myself
no
.
They
would
not
have
loaded
me
on
this
helicopter
,
would
not
be
flying
me
across
the
lush
forests
if
I
were
dead
.
Also
,
if
I
were
dead
,
I
like
to
think
Mom
and
Dad
would
’
ve
come
for
me
by
now
.
I
can
see
the
time
on
the
control
panel
.
It
’
s
10
:
37
.
I
wonder
what
’
s
happening
back
down
on
the
ground
.
Has
Willow
figured
out
who
the
emergency
is
?
Has
anyone
phoned
my
grandparents
?
They
live
one
town
over
from
us
,
and
I
was
looking
forward
to
dinner
with
them
.
Gramps
fishes
and
he
smokes
his
own
salmon
and
oysters
,
and
we
would
’
ve
probably
eaten
that
with
Gran
’
s
homemade
thick
brown
beer
bread
.
Then
Gran
would
’
ve
taken
Teddy
over
to
the
giant
recycling
bins
in
town
and
let
him
swim
around
for
magazines
.
Lately
,
he
’
s
had
a
thing
for
Reader
’
s
Digest
.
He
likes
to
cut
out
the
cartoons
and
make
collages
.
I
wonder
about
Kim
.
There
’
s
no
school
today
.
I
probably
won
’
t
be
in
school
tomorrow
.
She
’
ll
probably
think
I
’
m
absent
because
I
stayed
out
late
listening
to
Adam
and
Shooting
Star
in
Portland
.
Portland
.
I
am
fairly
certain
that
I
’
m
being
taken
there
.
The
helicopter
pilot
keeps
talking
to
Trauma
One
.
Outside
the
window
,
I
can
see
the
peak
of
Mount
Hood
looming
.
That
means
Portland
is
close
.
Is
Adam
already
there
?
He
played
in
Seattle
last
night
but
he
’
s
always
so
full
of
adrenaline
after
a
gig
,
and
driving
helps
him
to
come
down
.
The
band
is
normally
happy
to
let
him
chauffeur
while
they
nap
.
If
he
’
s
already
in
Portland
,
he
’
s
probably
still
asleep
.
When
he
wakes
up
,
will
he
have
coffee
on
Hawthorne
?
Maybe
take
a
book
over
to
the
Japanese
Garden
?
That
’
s
what
we
did
the
last
time
I
went
to
Portland
with
him
,
only
it
was
warmer
then
.
Later
this
afternoon
,
I
know
that
the
band
will
do
a
sound
check
.
And
then
Adam
will
go
outside
to
await
my
arrival
.
At
first
,
he
’
ll
think
that
I
’
m
late
.
How
is
he
going
to
know
that
I
’
m
actually
early
?
That
I
got
to
Portland
this
morning
while
the
snow
was
still
melting
?
