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I
let
out
a
huge
exhale
,
as
though
I
’
ve
been
holding
my
breath
for
the
last
twenty
minutes
.
After
seeing
myself
in
that
ditch
,
I
had
not
been
able
to
look
for
Teddy
.
If
he
were
like
Mom
and
Dad
,
like
me
,
I
.
.
.
I
didn
’
t
want
to
even
think
about
it
.
But
he
isn
’
t
.
He
is
alive
.
They
take
me
into
a
small
room
with
bright
lights
.
A
doctor
dabs
some
orange
stuff
onto
the
side
of
my
chest
and
then
rams
a
small
plastic
tube
in
me
.
Another
doctor
shines
a
flashlight
into
my
eye
.
"
Nonresponsive
,
"
he
tells
the
nurse
.
"
The
chopper
’
s
here
.
Get
her
to
Trauma
.
Now
!
"
They
rush
me
out
of
the
ER
and
into
the
elevator
.
I
have
to
jog
to
keep
up
.
Right
before
the
doors
close
,
I
notice
that
Willow
is
here
.
Which
is
odd
.
We
were
meant
to
be
visiting
her
and
Henry
and
the
baby
at
home
.
Did
she
get
called
in
because
of
the
snow
?
Because
of
us
?
She
rushes
around
the
hospital
hall
,
her
face
a
mask
of
concentration
.
I
don
’
t
think
she
even
knows
it
is
us
yet
.
Maybe
she
even
tried
to
call
,
left
a
message
on
Mom
’
s
cell
phone
,
apologizing
that
there
’
d
been
an
emergency
and
she
wouldn
’
t
be
home
for
our
visit
.
The
elevator
opens
right
onto
the
roof
.
A
helicopter
,
its
blades
swooshing
the
air
,
sits
in
the
middle
of
a
big
red
circle
.
I
’
ve
never
been
in
a
helicopter
before
.
My
best
friend
,
Kim
,
has
.
She
went
on
an
aerial
flight
over
Mount
St
.
Helens
once
with
her
uncle
,
a
big
-
shot
photographer
for
National
Geographic
.
"
There
he
was
,
talking
about
the
post
-
volcanic
flora
and
I
puked
right
on
him
,
"
Kim
told
me
in
homeroom
the
next
day
.
She
still
looked
a
little
green
from
the
experience
.
Kim
is
on
yearbook
and
has
hopes
of
becoming
a
photographer
.
Her
uncle
had
taken
her
on
this
trip
as
a
favor
,
to
nurture
her
budding
talent
.
"
I
even
got
some
on
his
cameras
,
"
Kim
lamented
.
"
I
’
ll
never
be
a
photographer
now
.
"
"
There
are
all
kinds
of
different
photographers
,
"
I
told
her
.
"
You
don
’
t
necessarily
need
to
go
flying
around
in
helicopters
.
"
Kim
laughed
.
"
That
’
s
good
.
Because
I
’
m
never
going
on
a
helicopter
again
—
and
don
’
t
you
,
either
!
"
