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She
and
the
lantern
-
jawed
medic
snake
a
tube
down
my
throat
,
attach
a
bag
with
a
bulb
to
it
,
and
start
pumping
.
"
What
’
s
the
ETA
for
Life
Flight
?
"
"
Ten
minutes
,
"
answers
the
medic
.
"
It
takes
twenty
to
get
back
to
town
.
"
"
We
’
re
going
to
get
her
there
in
fifteen
if
you
have
to
speed
like
a
f
*
*
king
demon
.
"
I
can
tell
what
the
guy
is
thinking
.
That
it
won
’
t
do
me
any
good
if
they
get
into
a
crash
,
and
I
have
to
agree
.
But
he
doesn
’
t
say
anything
.
Just
clenches
his
jaw
.
They
load
me
into
the
ambulance
;
the
redhead
climbs
into
the
back
with
me
.
She
pumps
my
bag
with
one
hand
,
adjusts
my
IV
and
my
monitors
with
the
other
.
Then
she
smooths
a
lock
of
hair
from
my
forehead
.
"
You
hang
in
there
,
"
she
tells
me
.
I
played
my
first
recital
when
I
was
ten
.
I
’
d
been
playing
cello
for
two
years
at
that
point
.
At
first
,
just
at
school
,
as
part
of
the
music
program
.
It
was
a
fluke
that
they
even
had
a
cello
;
they
’
re
very
expensive
and
fragile
.
But
some
old
literature
professor
from
the
university
had
died
and
bequeathed
his
Hamburg
to
our
school
.
It
mostly
sat
in
the
corner
.
Most
kids
wanted
to
learn
to
play
guitar
or
saxophone
.
When
I
announced
to
Mom
and
Dad
that
I
was
going
to
become
a
cellist
,
they
both
burst
out
laughing
.
They
apologized
about
it
later
,
claiming
that
the
image
of
pint
-
size
me
with
such
a
hulking
instrument
between
my
spindly
legs
had
made
them
crack
up
.
Once
they
’
d
realized
I
was
serious
,
they
immediately
swallowed
their
giggles
and
put
on
supportive
faces
.
But
their
reaction
still
stung
—
in
ways
that
I
never
told
them
about
,
and
in
ways
that
I
’
m
not
sure
they
would
’
ve
understood
even
if
I
had
.
Dad
sometimes
joked
that
the
hospital
where
I
was
born
must
have
accidentally
swapped
babies
because
I
look
nothing
like
the
rest
of
my
family
.
They
are
all
blond
and
fair
and
I
’
m
like
their
negative
image
,
brown
hair
and
dark
eyes
.
But
as
I
got
older
,
Dad
’
s
hospital
joke
took
on
more
meaning
than
I
think
he
intended
.
Sometimes
I
did
feel
like
I
came
from
a
different
tribe
.
I
was
not
like
my
outgoing
,
ironic
dad
or
my
tough
-
chick
mom
.
And
as
if
to
seal
the
deal
,
instead
of
learning
to
play
electric
guitar
,
I
’
d
gone
and
chosen
the
cello
.
