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- Федор Достоевский
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- Преступление и наказание
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- Стр. 435/453
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“
But
that
’
s
not
so
,
not
so
!
Brother
,
what
are
you
saying
?
”
“
Ah
,
it
’
s
not
picturesque
,
not
æsthetically
attractive
!
I
fail
to
understand
why
bombarding
people
by
regular
siege
is
more
honourable
.
The
fear
of
appearances
is
the
first
symptom
of
impotence
.
I
’
ve
never
,
never
recognised
this
more
clearly
than
now
,
and
I
am
further
than
ever
from
seeing
that
what
I
did
was
a
crime
.
I
’
ve
never
,
never
been
stronger
and
more
convinced
than
now
.
”
The
colour
had
rushed
into
his
pale
exhausted
face
,
but
as
he
uttered
his
last
explanation
,
he
happened
to
meet
Dounia
’
s
eyes
and
he
saw
such
anguish
in
them
that
he
could
not
help
being
checked
.
He
felt
that
he
had
,
anyway
,
made
these
two
poor
women
miserable
,
that
he
was
,
anyway
,
the
cause
.
.
.
“
Dounia
darling
,
if
I
am
guilty
forgive
me
(
though
I
cannot
be
forgiven
if
I
am
guilty
)
.
Good
-
bye
!
We
won
’
t
dispute
.
It
’
s
time
,
high
time
to
go
.
Don
’
t
follow
me
,
I
beseech
you
,
I
have
somewhere
else
to
go
.
.
.
.
But
you
go
at
once
and
sit
with
mother
.
I
entreat
you
to
!
It
’
s
my
last
request
of
you
.
Don
’
t
leave
her
at
all
;
I
left
her
in
a
state
of
anxiety
,
that
she
is
not
fit
to
bear
;
she
will
die
or
go
out
of
her
mind
.
Be
with
her
!
Razumihin
will
be
with
you
.
I
’
ve
been
talking
to
him
.
.
.
.
Don
’
t
cry
about
me
:
I
’
ll
try
to
be
honest
and
manly
all
my
life
,
even
if
I
am
a
murderer
.
Perhaps
I
shall
some
day
make
a
name
.
I
won
’
t
disgrace
you
,
you
will
see
;
I
’
ll
still
show
.
.
.
.
Now
good
-
bye
for
the
present
,
”
he
concluded
hurriedly
,
noticing
again
a
strange
expression
in
Dounia
’
s
eyes
at
his
last
words
and
promises
.
“
Why
are
you
crying
?
Don
’
t
cry
,
don
’
t
cry
:
we
are
not
parting
for
ever
!
Ah
,
yes
!
Wait
a
minute
,
I
’
d
forgotten
!
”
He
went
to
the
table
,
took
up
a
thick
dusty
book
,
opened
it
and
took
from
between
the
pages
a
little
water
-
colour
portrait
on
ivory
.
It
was
the
portrait
of
his
landlady
’
s
daughter
,
who
had
died
of
fever
,
that
strange
girl
who
had
wanted
to
be
a
nun
.
For
a
minute
he
gazed
at
the
delicate
expressive
face
of
his
betrothed
,
kissed
the
portrait
and
gave
it
to
Dounia
.
“
I
used
to
talk
a
great
deal
about
it
to
her
,
only
to
her
,
”
he
said
thoughtfully
.
“
To
her
heart
I
confided
much
of
what
has
since
been
so
hideously
realised
.
Don
’
t
be
uneasy
,
”
he
returned
to
Dounia
,
“
she
was
as
much
opposed
to
it
as
you
,
and
I
am
glad
that
she
is
gone
.
The
great
point
is
that
everything
now
is
going
to
be
different
,
is
going
to
be
broken
in
two
,
”
he
cried
,
suddenly
returning
to
his
dejection
.
“
Everything
,
everything
,
and
am
I
prepared
for
it
?
Do
I
want
it
myself
?
They
say
it
is
necessary
for
me
to
suffer
!
What
’
s
the
object
of
these
senseless
sufferings
?
shall
I
know
any
better
what
they
are
for
,
when
I
am
crushed
by
hardships
and
idiocy
,
and
weak
as
an
old
man
after
twenty
years
’
penal
servitude
?
And
what
shall
I
have
to
live
for
then
?
Why
am
I
consenting
to
that
life
now
?
Oh
,
I
knew
I
was
contemptible
when
I
stood
looking
at
the
Neva
at
daybreak
to
-
day
!
”
At
last
they
both
went
out
.
It
was
hard
for
Dounia
,
but
she
loved
him
.
She
walked
away
,
but
after
going
fifty
paces
she
turned
round
to
look
at
him
again
.
He
was
still
in
sight
.
At
the
corner
he
too
turned
and
for
the
last
time
their
eyes
met
;
but
noticing
that
she
was
looking
at
him
,
he
motioned
her
away
with
impatience
and
even
vexation
,
and
turned
the
corner
abruptly
.
“
I
am
wicked
,
I
see
that
,
”
he
thought
to
himself
,
feeling
ashamed
a
moment
later
of
his
angry
gesture
to
Dounia
